Help me understand whats going on!

[trevjim]

Hi! ill try and keep this short!

 

Me and my girlfriend of 2 and a half years broke up a month ago, she has a little boy who is 3 and a half from a previous relationship (the dad is in jail/not on the scene) we lived togeather once then i moved home as we argued too much but then we wanted to give it another go so i moved back in to a new place with her but we still argued too much so i moved back to parents again and we broke up on good terms (immature i know)

 

When we broke up neither of us wanted to, we where both madly in love with each other we just felt it didnt work, the boy calls me daddy, as i have helped raise him since he was 1 and we where planning to give him a sibling.

 

However the day we broke up she got in contact with another ex of hers, someone who i know she is good friends with (they where childhood friends)and they have started seeing each other. I sort of felt this was a rebound thing as she craves attention and to feel wanted, and i admit, for the first two weeks of breaking up, i was quite determind that we should move on and she wanted me back.

 

However i now want her back, i feel this break up has opened my eyes and i feel i didnt put the effort and attention and love in i should off to make it work.

 

Now you may say too late she has moved on, and that may be true, however i just dont understand how she can want me and yet the day i say i want her, she tells me she is 'in love' with the ex she has started seeing and doesnt love me anymore.

 

i have fought for her for a couple of weeks but now she says to leave her alone and never contact her, which i am doing. one, out of respect to her, and two, just incase she is enjoying me chasing after her.

 

 

My question is, how can someone who loved me, and i know she did, fall out of love and into love with an ex who she once cheated on and loved but was never in love with, literaly overnight?

[camus154]

Happens all the time, man. Doesn't matter why--it happened to you and you need to accept that.

 

You're blinded by your emotions right now. Think about it from a more logical perspective--you lived with her twice and both times it didn't work out. For whatever reasons, the two of you just don't work well together. Remember that and look forward.

[becomingkate]

However i now want her back, i feel this break up has opened my eyes and i feel i didnt put the effort and attention and love in i should off to make it work.

 

I've heard so many people say they want nothing to do with an ex UNTIL the ex starts dating someone else. Then people forget about all the dysfunction in the relationship and want to try again.

 

Based on what you've said about this girl, I'd say move on.

 

Her exes are in jail and have cheated on her (but she's taking him back) and I don't think she knows what she wants. Personally, I think you've dodged a bullet with this girl.

[trevjim]

I've heard so many people say they want nothing to do with an ex UNTIL the ex starts dating someone else. Then people forget about all the dysfunction in the relationship and want to try again.

 

Based on what you've said about this girl, I'd say move on.

 

Her exes are in jail and have cheated on her (but she's taking him back) and I don't think she knows what she wants. Personally, I think you've dodged a bullet with this girl.

 

 

The ex is in jail for abusing her and the child so i dont blame her for that,

She cheated on the ex she is seeing now which is what leads me to believe she isnt that interested in him

[rask]

The ex is in jail for abusing her and the child so i dont blame her for that,

She cheated on the ex she is seeing now which is what leads me to believe she isnt that interested in him

 

She's still with him now, and there's not much you can do. She's already asked to be left alone.

 

I do feel bad for the situation with the kid, as I'm sure it's really confusing for it and probably doesn't feel so good for you, either. Easy to get attached to kids, even when they aren't yours.

 

I feel like you just want her now that she's with someone, since she was kinda available before, but now she isn't... just let her go dude, it didn't work out the first time, or second, so it's really time to move on. Forget the good things, in the end, the relationship didn't work.

[trevjim]

She's still with him now, and there's not much you can do. She's already asked to be left alone.

 

I do feel bad for the situation with the kid, as I'm sure it's really confusing for it and probably doesn't feel so good for you, either. Easy to get attached to kids, even when they aren't yours.

 

I feel like you just want her now that she's with someone, since she was kinda available before, but now she isn't... just let her go dude, it didn't work out the first time, or second, so it's really time to move on. Forget the good things, in the end, the relationship didn't work.

 

 

Yeh i feel bad for the kid too, Im just gonna have to let go and move on, thank you all for your input