somebody help me:(

[nicolek]

Last night, my boyfriend of a year and 3 months(it was our anniversary last night! broke up with me. We are really young(15) but I'm so in love with him and in so much pain and I don't know what to do. He was in love with me, until a few days ago when he started acting weird, he said he didn't love me the same and just wanted me as a friend. How could he stop loving me that fast? He said we fight too much and I was trying to fix that, but he won't listen to anything I say. He doesn't want to talk to me, he always hangs up. He had a girl there when he broke up with me and me and her aren't exactly the closest:S He told me he'd call me, he never did. I don't understand why he's like this. I haven't slept or eaten for 2 days because I knew this was coming. He was my best friend and the one person I really could trust. We basically lived at eachother's houses. He was like part of my family, and it feels like I've lost him forever. I just want the pain in my heart to go away,and the memories of him to fade. I have to see him at school everyday, and it's going to kill me inside. I don't know how I can walk around and act happy with my friends, it's way to painful. Why do I miss him so much? Why did he leave me? I'm so confused. I wrote him an e-mail telling him how I feel. He told me he'd never do this to me, and I believed him, because he loved me so much. He gave me the most love that anyone has ever givin me. No one can do anything it hurts so much. I can't stop crying or get him off my mind. Everywhere I look and everything I do reminds me of him. How do I make this stop? Why am I so jealous that he was with another girl?! Somebody help me PLEZ!!!!!!!!!

[SwingFox]

Hi Nicolek,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am so sorry to hear that your b/f has broke up with you. I understand that you're really hurt by that and that you feel profoundly sad.

 

Your reaction, feelings and emotions are perfectly human. You should feel hurt, because you loved him so much. Those feelings won't go away overnight. That will take a little while. How long it takes varies from person to person. My suggestion is to accept your hurt feelings as a part of your healing process. If you feel to cry, just cry ... it will speed up your healing process.

 

It's very hard to say why he did this to you? It can be anything. I can understand that you're feeling jealous when there's been this other girl at his house when he called you. I find it disrespectful of him not telling you why he breaks up with you and why he isn't listening to you. It would have helped you understanding better.

 

I hope your wounds will heal fast, nicolek. I wish you strength for the coming period. If there's anything we can do for you, just check back to our site. Good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[whinger]

you must find out the reason nicolek, and go from there

 

happiness go with you in your time of need

[DaniChris]

You are so young, but you absolutely will get through this. I am 34 and going through the worst heartache of my life, but I remember being 15 and having my b/f of three years break up with me. Oh, the pain. I pretended it hadn't happened just to get through it.

 

Every time we open our hearts and love someone we risk having our heart broken. Just cope the best you can and give yourself alot of time to heal. It make take a month, even longer.

 

15 was the first time I had my heart broken, and now I am working on my fourth heartbreak, this one being far worse than anything I've ever experienced. Just don't close your heart. Hopefully you will never go through this again, but if you love it's a chance you take. I think it's worth it but I am trying to convince myself of that now. The pain is so fresh.

[nicolek]

Thanks for your advice everyone. It's been nearly a week. It doesn't hurt as much anymore but it still does. I think not talking to him hurt me a lot more and made it harder for me. I've been talking to him lately and I think we're going to be friends. He tells me I'm his very best friend and he just needs some time to get over me before we become really close again. We talked a lot the other day but he said we shouldn't try again right now. His reason was he didn't want a girlfriend. I kind of understand because he's just a kid but he loved me so much I didn't think he would just end things like that. Well hopefully things will get better. I've been with friends a lot to get him off my mind. Sometimes it hurts a lot, but it's pretty good! thanks!!

[rezurd83]

You said i he suddenly over a few days he stopped loving you, i dont think this is the case. Sometime while you were together his interest level in you peaked, after that it just started going downwards, when it was reaching rock bottom he broke up. It may seem sudden to you, but it probably took alot more time than a few days.

[nicolek]

I know thats probably what happened. I just didn't catch on. He practically despises me now. I don't get why? I tried bein nice whenever we'd talk...but no he said we won't be friends and said his good-bye forever. That wrecked me a lot. I don't get why I'm such a horrible person to him all of a sudden

[kinatra]

Breaking up do different things to people's emotions and you are the only one who would know why he was upset with you. Then again, it could be nothing and this could be his way of dealing with pain and loss by getting angry. The thing for you to do is not to deal with him right now or ever.....there may be a time when you can be friends, but not now. I don't think I am helping....

[nicolek]

I don't understand what's going on between us. He's totally nice to me one minute and so mean the next. I hate break-ups

[rachmegan8]

I am sitting here crying just reading this. The same exact thing happened to me. I am 18 years old and I was with my boyfriend for a year and 2 months. We spent everyday together & I basically lived at his house. I was so close with him and his family. We did everythign together and he was my best friend in the world. We did fight a lot, but I never thought he'd leave me.

One night he just basically told me that we weren't meant to be and that I should go out and date other guys. I didn't understand at all. I thought he loved me. I didn't know how someoen could just stop loving someone so fast like he did. It's like the time we spent together didn't even matter. He just wanted "us" to end.

~It's been 3 months since that night and I am still heartbroken. I feel sick everytime I think about him. I feel as if I did something wrong, but I know I didnt.

~Things are meant to happen though...thats just what I keep telling myself.

~I've found someone new now. He is the sweetest person I've ever met. I still compare him to my old boyfriend though & I still miss my old boyfriend. It hurts so badly. You can't even describe the feeling. It feels like the end of the world.

~It will take some time to get over him, especially when you have to see him at school everyday....but you will get better and you will find someone better who loves you. Trust me!

I hope you feel better soon. Just remember you are not alone out there. A million girls get their hearts broken everyday. You will make it thought it I promise Good luck hun

[nicolek]

Thank you so much. I feel better knowing that someone else went through the exact same thing. It's really hard. I see him EVERYWHERE I go. And I try to find a new guy, but I'm not ready yet. When I do meet new guys, I'm not interested because I don't know it, but I'm just looking for my ex in everyone. It's really weird. I've had a hundred guys ask me out but they aren't the same I don't want anyone but him and I don't want another relationship but one like ours was. I just don't get it. Why can't I get over him? It's only been a month but I want to be over him!! It hurts to see him with other girls and having fun because no matter how hard I try, I can't have fun. I smile to hide the tears and all the pain. He just ignores me and will say hi every once in a while but he's weird now. Not the same guy I loved for sure. He's just drunk, stoned or smoking all the time. Not like he used to be AT ALL. I don't know how he changed so much. Stopped loving me and then became a total different person? I just wish we were still together and nothin ever happened

[Jitrenda]

Hi there Nicolek!

 

I understand your pain and what you are going through...to a degree. Just take it one day at a time. It's okay to be jealous...it is only natural...but you have to let that go sometime...(i still have to let go...i am jealous of the idea of my ex being with someone else and treating them better than he treated me)...if you are religious...ask God to help you out. Ask him to grant you patience and strength. He will be your greatest friend in this time of heartbreak. Just take it one day at a time and some ideas on how to get over him: rearrange your furniture....put away (don't throw it out or burn it yet...if you so choose to in the future) all the things he gave you and make a list of all that you hate about him. That will be a start and help you heal...I wish you the best of luck!

 

And you are young (like myself)...it is not the end of the world, though it certainly feels like it and don't worry someone will love you. In fact someone already does. JESUS LOVES YOU! don't ever forget that.

 

Don't you worry there will be a guy who will come along and you both will fall in love. Just be patient.

 

Take care of yourself! And start to do WHAT YOU WANT! that is another good thing to do.

[nicolek]

Thanks guys. I think I'd probably be nearly over him if it wasn't for the jealousy. Everytime I feel better about him, I see him with another girl. and me and him STILL fight. I try and be his friend by saying hi once in a while if I see him in the halls or when he's online, but he just gets cranky with me. I don't know what to do anymore I miss him A LOT!

[Bamber432]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through the exact same thing. I couldn't eat for 2 days...(every day I force myself to eat) and I cannot sleep at night...I have pictures all over my room of him. It's so hard to get him out of your head. He told me that this would never happen either. I don't know what exactly to tell you because I am seeking the same advice....I dont' know how I will ever get over him...I just want you to knwo that there are people who are going through the same thing...so you are not the only one!

[nicolek]

I know how it feels. I don't know what to do anymore. He's nice to me one day and treats me like dirt the next. As much as I'd like to stop talking to him so he doesn't hurt me, it's hard. I don't want to just leave him. I know we're over but he was my best friend and I want him to be...just not right now. I'm not over him so I'm trying not to talk to him for a while. School's over in 2 days+exams so I won't see him for a long time...I hope? I just need lots of advice I've tried everything to get him off my mind but nothing works!!!

[Bamber432]

Hun, I know exactly how you feel. Except I feel worse for you...it would be so tortorous to have to see him everyday. I want to see him everyday but I know that I can't for my sake. It's almost been a week and I still don't know what to do. It's hard to move on and I'm not ready to yet. I still love him with all my heart, but I know that I have to try and move on or this is just going to consume me. Hopefully since you are almost done with school you won't have to see him. It's hard for me because we are in the same group of friends. And I feel like I am making my girls choose me over him and I don't want that to happen. I just want things to go back to how they were. Well I hope for your sake things turn out for the better. Just be strong and stick it out for the next few days and maybe, who knows what the summer might bring you! Good luck hun on exams!

[nicolek]

Thank you so much. We get along sometimes, then we fight, I don't know it's weird. I said my good-byes to him today considering tomorrow's the last day of school and I probably won't see him until next year. It hurt's a lot still but I'm doing alright. I'm just stressed because of exams and I wish things were the way they used to be when I was with him. I guess I have to stop looking at the past and look at my future which I don't have anymore because he was in it. Well thanks everyone. Keep giving me more advice It helps a lot knowing I'm not the only one.

[nicolek]

Ok...me and my ex were getting along really good.Like I thought my feelings for him had faded because we were friends and everything was all good. Then I went to his house yesterday to watch movies and stuff..or so I thought. He started cuddling and acting like he totally liked me again. I was SO happy for some reason...then I realized I still love him ....so I started crying and he asked why and I told him I missed him and still loved him and it was hard for me to tell him because I didn't want to hear him say he didn't love me back. But he told me that and he said he didn't like me as a girlfriend at all. I don't get it..he acted like he did all night and acted how he used to. Why does he turn around and say he doesn't love me anymore? He said he hates relationships and we were only going to be friends because that's only how he feels about me...someone help! I've loved him all along and haven't even realized it and now I'm feeling the pain again. I don't know if anyone's ever been in this situation before..I need advice