_Ramirez_ Posted October 29, 2004 Share Posted October 29, 2004 Well I think I migth have a problem that I'm not able to solve and I would like some insight from this board. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years now. We have 2 daughters, 1 who's not from me and who's 9 years old and one who's from me and is 2 1/2 years old. I believe I'm a good father, I believe I'm a good boyfriend and overall I believe I'm a very good guy. I'm home every night, I never slept away from home, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I take care of half the chores in the house, I do everything possible to keep the flame alive and the communication in my relationship and I take care of myself so she don't fall out of love from me because I became ugly. I pay 3/4 of everything because she goes to the university to become an accountant and I try to be very suppportive to her because she's been depressive for last 2 1/2 years. I even adopted her daughter just like as if I was her real father. I don't see myself as the perfect guy but I'm sure I'm not far because I do the best I can to be the best I can. My girlfriend have been in a really damaging relationship in her past with a manipulative/abusive boyfriend. He cheated on her and made so much damage to her self-confidence and her self-esteem that its going to take her years to recover. I understand where she come from and I understand where all her problem comes from because in a way I'm also her psychanalist even if she follows therapy. My problem is that she can't trust me... on anything... and that bugs me a lot lately. At first I was very patient and comprehensive. I knew what boat I was sailing and I took the contract. But now I see the day where I'll get tired of her and her behaviors. Its been five years and the only progress I saw so far is that she's better at hiding her jealousy and possessiveness (sp?) because she's afraid to anger me. We talked a lot about it, she's working on it but she can't help herself. Its her comments, her way to say things, her ways to question me about everything and everyone and her way to bite down every comment she might have on every situation involving someone else in my life. I don't talk to girls when she's with me and also when she's not. I don't have girlfriends or girl acquintance period. I don't look at other womens if we walk in the streets so I don't have her fuming at me because a woman crossed my path and I looked at her 1/2 a second... She need to call me at least 4 times a day to make sure where I am, she needs to know when I get out of the office to make sure I'm home in the time it normally take me to get there and when I'm there she call me to check if I'm home if she's not. She check my e-mails at least once a day to make sure I don't receive correspondance from anyone she doesn't know (yes I gave her my password to make her feel more confident), she check my computer history to see what internet web site I'm looking at... and there's more to it I won't say here... and I'm getting tired of it. Someone please tell me what I can do to make her trust me because I'm out of ideas and I'm getting out of patience. Talking did nothing, being irreprochable for 5 full years didn't work either. I don't want to get mad at her and start pinning her down on everything she does whe I see it and demand her to stop because she takes it very badly when I get angry with her and it takes her time to recover from anything that happen between us. I know my girl have a lot of issues but I love her and don't want to fall out of love from her. Comments saying I should dump her right away are not welcome... Quote Link to comment
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