Random Update

[Shane Falco]

Not true. I went NC (before I even heard of NC) with an ex for over a year, randomly ran into her once, went NC again for three months and then saw her again and it basically served as a reset button. The second time we saw each other after that she wanted me back (she was the dumper) and made it clear that she did. There was no gradual courtship at all. I ended up saying no because I decided I didn't want to go down that rabbit hole, but a reconciliation goes about the same speed as the relationship went the first time around. Once there's attraction formed, which is usually early, it's on like Donkey Kong.

[oreogod]

Ignore.

 

Not a huge believer in straight NC. Sure it will spark loneliness but if you guys are incommunicado sure she might look you up later, but it might also convey you don't want her around at all, to get lost. Seriously never let a girl know she got to you and give a big speech about how she can't be in your life. If you gotta go just cut and run.

 

I prefer indifference. NC unless she texts you something you feel worth responding to. Ignore most trivial crap, you chose what to respond to. IF you can keep your emotions out of it, and not be totally available for a relationship and can be friendly, ambiguous, mysterious, I say keep in v minimal contact.

 

Besides human psychology, if something is expected people get numb to it. If it's unexpected and not predictable it they won't be able to get used to it fully.

Always there = lame

Never there = lame but good to heal up

Not really there but not gone gone = better imo.

[eastonweston]

This is interesting. Great thoughts.