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My Professor is a flirt (sorry it's long)


crazycat

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I had a professor who was a flirt. He flirted with almost all the girls in class. I happened to be a hard working student and participated in most of the class discussions. Towards the middle of the term I noticed that when I asked him questions in class, he would come so close to me to answer my questions. When the class worked in groups he kept looking at my direction. When he sees me in the hallway he would stop me to have a little chat. But, I noticed that he does the same thing to the other girls in my class. So, I thought maybe that's just the way he was and that I was just imagining things.

 

When I emailed him for questions about the class, he would reply back and began signing the email with his initials rather than the usual Professor such and such. I got really nervous that maybe he was really coming on to me. I tried to ignore it and ignore him and moved on with the rest of the term. I was also a graduating student that term and I had asked him if I was going take the final exam with the class or would I take it alone at the testing center. He said that he would like to set up an appointment with me and talk about that. So we had an appointment and during the appointment he told me that he was waiving my final exam because I got an "A" for the class already. I was happy to hear that he gave me an "A" and thanked him. We corresponded more through email, kind of flirted as well. I began to realize that I like him.

 

On the last day of class he told me to look for him during graduation. I told him I will. The graduation day came and the whole place was packed. I didn't get a chance to meet him. I only saw him during the end of the ceremony when the faculty marched out. I tried to look for him after the ceremony, but he was nowhere to be found. I wrote him an email the following day thanking him for his previous help and best wishes and apologized for not able to meet him during graduation. I also wrote that that I saw him and that I tried to look for him. But, I didn't get any email back from him nor ever heard from him again. I felt bad, because I'm beginning to like him a lot. I was disappointment. What should I do? I liked him a lot, but I think he thought that I ditched him or don't like him at all. Should I pursue him or forget about him?

 

crazycat

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By the sound of things, he's a very flirty guy. You graduated outa there, so if you did persue it, you would have to live with the fact that he's flirty like that with all the girls. Also, sometimes it's just a persons personality to be sort of personal. I had a boss like that. He only signed his e-mails as P. and were always interested in me as a person, and my interests. But he was very happily married, and also just as happy to share his family with me.

 

I was never interested in him, but also thought sometimes he's coming on to me a bit, but after awhile, I realised it's just who he is. definitely not coming on to me, just the way he relates to people. They are very dear people, and likable.

 

I dunno. If you think you can handle his ways, but also rejection if he does not respond, why don't you drop him a call?

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This is my humble opinion about it. I think you'd better to forget about him at all, you don't want such a flirty guy to hurt your feeling later on, he might be a hunter as well, and even if he's not and that's the way he is, then better not to waist your time and emotions with him, unless you are so desperate, I think that you have all your life in front of you, you are still young, and by time you will see tens of young men just in your age wanting to share their emotions about you with you. Forget him as I think it will never work.

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My guess is that he probably wasn't as interested in you (personally) as you thought. If he treated the other girls the same way, then that's just how he is (and, you have no way of knowing that he didn't sign emails to his other students the same way...it's actually pretty typical to do that).

 

IMO, it's doubtful that he's angry the two of you didn't meet up at graduation; more likely, his attitude is that you've graduated and it's time to focus on his current students. I'd wager he does this all the time. I doubt it's anything malicious or meant to inspire feelings in his female students -- it's simply his personality style.

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