When someone says they have a 'significant other'..

[Lily04]

does this usually mean they have a girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse? I'm just wondering because I met this guy at work and we hit it off great..I feel like there's really a connection between us. Everytime he looks at me he always blushes deeply, and laughs, and sometimes gets so flustered he has to take a few steps back..I don't know, there's just such an energy between us, it's hard to explain. I feel like I really know him, even though we've only chatted a few times at work. But then he mentioned he visits his 'significant other' back home (in another country) when he can..and I completely forgot about checking for a ring..and he is now on leave for work & it is somewhat provoking..

 

If he has a gf, and they're doing long-distance I feel it's not so bad to flirt a little (I'm not a very flirty person, so by 'flirt' I mean more like discussing politics, so it's not like I really crossed any boundaries) but if it indeed means wife, then I feel really guilty about it..I know I should feel guilty either way, but I think the feeling is mutual..

 

I don't know. There's the whole 'workplace stigma' aspect of it also attached, but I'm not so concerned with that..we're pretty much equals, so there's no hierarchial difference. I want to back off, but at the same time I want to try seeing if there's anything there...I don't know. My inclination is that it means he has a wife, but why wouldn't he just say 'wife' then..? grr..lol. He's 26 btw..

[tea]

would that be his gf? I always thought significant other refers to wife or gf or husband or bf...

 

>_

 

Oh, well, if he's not married you can always get him to dump his gf and go out with you... if my bf does that I'd be more than upset.

 

I'm glad he's having 19 hour work days at the moment... he gets no sleep and no rest, but he doesn't get time to cheat on me either.

[fallen]

It could really mean either..the only real way to confirm is to see a ring. Although you shouldn't really be pursuing it either way. My guess is actually the opposite - that it probably means long-term girlfriend. This is just from my experience..if he recently got married he'd probably want to call her his 'wife' just because the guys I know who recently got married are so proud of it they want to mention their 'wife' every opportunity theyget. It's sorta cute. =) But..it could just be that they're a common-law marriage. If it's long-distance though, that could also be a clue that they're more committed to one another & have probably been dating for a while, especially if he's in another country for work..

 

But yeah, it's really hard from this to tell. Just try to tease it out of him next time you talk with him. I would guess it means a long-term relationship though. And it could definitely mean marriage so my advice is either way to back off a little..

[Lily04]

Yeah..I feel really bad now. I suppose either way it's not really a possibility..

[Lily04]

'significant other' is basically a blanket term that can mean girlfriend or wife, but usually implies more commitment. i.e. I wouldn't call the person I've been dating for a week my 'significant other.' But I sorta agree with the first poster - if he were married he would have probably just said 'wife' to give you an additional hint to back off.

[sonjam]

I think this means his wife. If he's open for suggestions telling you he has a wife, is very harsh, but referring to her as his "significant other' softens it a bit, makes you wonder, and obviously open to suggestions!! Devious caracter

[OldGuy]

In the circle of people I know the term Significant Other (often just SO) means a person with whom you are regularly intimate and to whom you have a lasting commitment.

 

SO's usually live together.

SO's can be of the SAME or opposite sex.

 

I have never heard anyone refer to their spouse or fiancé as an SO. So I usually assume it means they are not married and don't intend to.

 

Not long ago it was a very common term in the gay and lesbian community for the chosen life partner. But I think "Partner" is more common now.

 

I think the term was orignated with the intent of being a sexual orientation neutral way of referring to a life partner.

[Lily04]

Thanks OldGuy.

 

Perhaps it differs according to circle of friends as well..I've heard of people refer to their significant other as being a wife/husband before, but I think it's more in a formal sense (i.e. when you fill out forms for the government or whatever.) So I think Lily has a point there..anyways, I suppose I'll just wait 'til he gets back just to solve my curiosity, but I don't intend on pursuing anything. In the end, I just would feel guilty about it..

 

Thanks for your input though!