The Other Woman

[ovoxo]

Okay, so I have been talking to this guy on and off for almost 3 years. I've liked him for longer than that, but 2 years ago is when we really started getting to know each other. In that time frame, he has had 2 girlfriends. One of which was long distance. We don't get to see each other much because he is an athlete and travels a lot, and I'm a nursing student and I travel quite a bit too.

 

He also hid both of his relationships, like I really had to dig deep to find out. When he gets into a relationship, I automatically stop talking to him, simply because we flirt a lot. Out of respect for the girlfriend, I just stop talking to him and let their relationship be.

 

However, it seems that when he gets "bored" with the relationship, he comes back to me and wants to go out, and see me all the time. Which to me is weird, because then it feels like we're dating. There's a difference between going out as friends, and going on dates. If that makes sense. And, I know that if I wanted to, I could sleep with him, I'm always the one that stops it when things start to go too far.

 

When I talked to my co-worker about this, she said "well, he ain't married." When she met her now husband, he was in a relationship as well, but she kept at it until she got him. I'm not okay with cheating, or leaving your significant other for someone else.

 

I'm not going to sleep with him while he's in a relationship.

 

I just don't know what to do. OH, and he knows my family, our moms are friends, and his older sister is friends with my older siblings. Kinda awkward.

 

I do want him, but I don't want to be in a relationship right now, plus I know I can't trust him.

 

Do I wait until he's single again (who knows when that will be) or what? I feel like I'm "the other woman" Do I just tell him?

[xyzzzz]

when he was single,why wouldnt he date u

[asthesparrow]

I think you are just convenient for him because you reciprocate the flirting and don't turn him down UNTIL he eventually tells you he is in a relationship.

If he were really that interested, don't you think you'd already be a couple, instead of him having dated these other two women?? Besides, if he were to get into a relationship, why wouldn't he tell you? Why is it so hard that you have to "coax" it out of him? Because he doesn't want to lose his woman on the side, obviously. He sounds very untruthful. Definitely not a catch. Steer clear.

[ovoxo]

I don't want a relationship right now, which is why we have never dated. Is it possible to go from the girl on the side, to an actual relationship in the future? I've never slept with him, if that makes a difference.

[rask]

I don't want a relationship right now, which is why we have never dated. Is it possible to go from the girl on the side, to an actual relationship in the future? I've never slept with him, if that makes a difference.

 

It is, once a guy realizes he wants to settle down and doesn't want just hook ups and temporary girlfriends. Having sex with him might make it harder to have that kind of a relationship in the future, though.