The point of MS/HS relationships

[Guarana Galrok]

What is the point of high school/middle school relationships? It makes very ltitle sense to me. Both parties involved know that they won't stay together for 'the rest of their lives' and many know they'll break up with someone before they even go out. Even in the most successful HS relationship, break ups happen as the two need to go to different colleges-or they attempt a long distance relationship doomed to failure or boredom. Even in the highly unlikely event that one actually does 'love' another, all I ever see is that there is a world of hurt in it for the lover or the female gets pregnant. I hate to be so skeptical, but perhaps your opinions will enlighten me. Thanks!

 

-GG

[pollyesther]

I agree with you on a few of those points but I simply see it as a part of growing up. All the relationships we have with other people shape who we are. I definitely don't agree with the people who constantly make themselves depressed because they can't find a gf/bf at my age (or younger) or those that flit from relationship to relationship, but I wouldn't say there isn't a point to it.

The friends we make in elementary school are most likely not going to be those we keep for life...but they're still important, right?

IMO, it's just one of the parts of life.

[antzca2000]

hormones and pressure into having sex plays a big role. And I think a lot of people in school are just looking for a good time and never expected it to hurt so much when it doesnt work out.

[melrich]

Well that is easy. Forming relationships and having break ups and forming other relationships is a learning experience. It is fun, then it hurts then it is fun again etc. Experience is how people learn. And when you are young you think these relationships are the most important things in the world and that love is undying. You don't rationalise a relationship when you are 16 years old by thinking "oh well there is no chance this will be forever so why do I bother". That is all part of growing up.

 

If you decided never to get in a realtionship because it was not going to be "forever", you would never get into a relationship.

[Guarana Galrok]

I think the true measure of how much you care for someone is not how good you feel when you are with them, but how much it hurts when you are without them. I suppose this is why people in HS can just blaze through person after person. In my own experience, the hurt from simply trying to get into a relationship isn't justified by the successful outcome in the same situation. Why would one want memories of the worst emotional pain of their life?

[melrich]

Because those experiences will prepare you for far worse pain when you are older. Believe me, one day you will know real emotional pain, a long term marriage will break up, someone close to you will die, a child of yours will get seriously ill.....something will happen in your life that will make you feel glad you have been through the emotional pain in the fairly safe environment of a teenage relationship break up...it will make the truly horrific emotional pain you will have to face at some stage in your life that much easier to cope with.

[PAdreamer]

I think the point is practice. Relationships don't just happen, they take work. Which means you need to have a sense of what does and does not work. MS/HS relationships help you to figure these things out.

[Guarana Galrok]

If one is working for some anti-terrorist government organization, and is tortured many times over his career, each time carrying with it greater pain, then when finally he is tortured the greatest amount of his life, then does that really make the torture of previous years more desirable, or the pain of the new torture any lesser?

 

I can not see how these small hills can prepare the wagon for the mountain, richgabe. Emotional Pain, to me, comes in different forms, each one in its own way unbearable. I do not think that a bad relationship experience here will aid you in a both-parents-die-in-a-car-accident there. I do not presume to be stubborn, but hope to represent to you my point. Thanks for the feedback!

[melrich]

That's right Edudlooc13, you learn from each experience and you grow from each experience and believe me, you will handle your second major break up better than your first and your third better again etc. Unless of course you are a psycho...lol. But I think your attitude is very mature and you will get much better at coping with difficult and stressful events because of it. I wish I had been that mature at 18. Good luck.

[melrich]

Hi Guarana,

 

Well I think your analogy is a bit off topic but carrying on with it that is exactly why agents who maybe subject to torture and interrogation are trained with mild exposure to it before they get in the situation. military training regularly incorporates putting trainees through simulations of what they may experience in battle or after being captured. Because experience does help you to cope better, I am not saying it makes the event more pleasurable.

[Meow18]

It hurts to break up, but you grow from the experience. It makes you a stronger person. It helps you understand what love is about. In my opinion, its worth going through some heartbreak, because in the end you find that person you want to be with forever. I really don't think there is a better feeling than being in love.

 

Getting your heart broken hurts like no other. Its happened to me a lot. I never got used to the pain, the second time hurt just as much as the first. However, I wouldn't take back any of my past experiences with guys. Yeah, they weren't all that great and I did get hurt, but I like the way things have turned out. I think that what I went through was worth going through just to get to where I am.

 

Heartache doesn't last forever, but true love does. If people didn't take the risk of getting their heart broken, then no one would ever fall in love.

[RayKay]

Because it is still a learning/growing/loving process. I have had jobs, friendships that could not last forever as well.

 

The relationships I have had in the past have weaved a tapestry and developed whom I am today and how I relate to others today as well. They let me experience romantic/intimate emotional love of many levels. You learn what you do want in a partner, and what you don't. You learn relationship skills to take with to the next one to improve how your relationships function. Just because it will not be forever, does not mean you cannot learn, or love them - sometimes people are just growing in different directions, but they still remain a part of your past and your life and whom you are.

[Guarana Galrok]

Alright, I feel that the more intense, love involved and at least mildly successful relationships have been addressed, but what of the ones that last less than 2-3 months? What is the point of those? Arguably, I suppose you could learn from those as well but after you've had 3 or 4 of them how can they still teach you anything you didn't already know?

[melrich]

Hi Guarana,

 

I really don't think you are hearing what you are being told. Nearly every poster here has told you that ALL your life experiences are learning experiences, whether it's touching a hot kettle, being in a relationship for a week or being married for 10 years. You will learn from each situation. And in terms of relationships you will have some fun in them, and probably some pain in them.

 

I think this topic has really been done to death.