comparisons

[ehfar]

So I've been thinking a lot lately, and even though I feel it's too soon to get involved in a relationship again as of now, in the future, I feel as if all I'll be able to do is compare my ex with the next guy who comes into my life. He was so great, and obviously right now after not even a month I still have strong feelings for him, but he was my first love, and I'm worried at this point that even when I get over him, that all I'm going to do in my next relationship is compare the guy with my ex, and I think it's kind of scaring me and forcing me to not fully move on because I'm worried I won't find someone as good. So I was just curious from people with experience, did you totally compare your new interest to your ex? Were they not as great and you just hoped things would change? Did you not find someone as great right away but eventually did?

 

Any stories would be great just to boost my spirits a little, because my ex was and really still is like my best friend and I can't imagine finding someone as good as him, and not being able to fully enjoy my next relationship because I'm just going to wish the person were him, if that makes sense.

[klin]

I have yet to begin a new relationship as this is too fresh for me too, but I don't think you should worry about it. It took me about a month to be able to imagine myself with somebody else without feeling physically sick. I thought we were going to get married and that he was definitely the one person on the world who knew me the best and was the best for me. Unfortunately, he stopped feeling that way about me, and we broke up. On the positive side, there are many many many men out there who can love you just as well or more than your ex did. It seems super weird to think about, but it's true. I know that I'm not ready, and that when I am it's not going to be a matter of seeking out somebody that is like my ex, but I'll fall in love again and when it happens, it happens. Y'know? The idea of soulmates is beautiful, but none of us are perfect and we've all got love to give. You'll fall in love with somebody again. If you're too worried about comparisons, you're probably just not ready yet. I hope that helps.

[xxStormy]

It has been 8 months since he left me. I still miss him and wish he would call to tell me what a mistake he made. But that will never happen.

 

I compared every. Single. Man. I seen to him. And it was driving me crazy. But it stopped. I don't know when it did, but now I look at a man and see their virtues. I don't see my exes face when I talk to a new man.

I recently listed all the reasons I could think of. Of why he was wrong for me. His issues and what drove me crazy. And now I can see the good in other men.