Why is she doing this?

[Rigel]

My best friend has been very disrepectful towards me. I knew she always had a short temper and was easily annoyed by little things, but there should be no reason for her to treat me this way.

 

She's complaining that I "use" to drive me places. She usually drives me home from school and always told me she was ok with it. She knows I don't have my license yet, but I've been working on it. I always offer her gas money and she always refuses. She also says that I'm a whiner and a complainer and that it seems as if "something's always wrong w/ me"

 

I've tried talking it over w/ her in a mature way on several occasions but somehow she always says it's my fault. She knows I would do anything for her but it seems as if she wouldn't so the same for me.

 

I thought she wouldn't mind riding me places cause friends help each other. My parents work full time and cannot always ride me were I need to be. I thought she wouldn't mind driving me as a courtesy as a friend.

 

I can't believe she's doing this after nearly 9 years of friendship. I've always said I'd be more than happy to ride her anywhere when I do get my license.

 

So could ya be so kind as to give me advice? What am I doing wrong to anger her?

(sorry for the long post)

[antzca2000]

next time she rejects the gas money, shove it in a drawer in the car or force it into her hands. This should balance her insecurities.

[janeke1]

Sometimes people react very strangely when they think people are being too dependent on them and I think that you probably need to find another way to get home - at least some of the time.

 

The other possibility is you are simply together too much.

 

How did you get home before? My suggestion would be that you try doing your own thing for awhile. Don't make a big deal announcement out of it. Just tell your friend that you have another ride (like your mom is working half day or something,) and then, if necessary, take the bus. I will bet you that it will improve your relationship.

 

Good Luck!

J

[arwen]

I think maybe she feels she is obliged to do this all the time. This can be heavy on a person's sense of freedom. I suggest you do what janeke suggested and make yourself independent from her. Then you can see after a while how to rebuild the friendship.

 

You are 17, I don't know if she is too? In this period a lot of things can change in a friendship. Maybe she feels like she is dragging you along all the time, while she wants to meet also other friends and maybe boys?

 

Ilse.