Rainy Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 I am in a long distance relationship since june, my boyfriend and i have been talking about me moving to be with him, It is very scary as I will be moving from my parents, friends and job, i get on very well with his family and my boyfriend says he will support me till i get a new job, I so want to be with him and move but the thought of giving up a job and living off of someone else makes me feel very guilty Has anyone been in a ldr and moved hundreds of miles to be with there love, Link to comment
Phil Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 Rainy, i strongly suggest bringing a friend there with you for a couple visits first. Thats if you haven't met him first. it may cost a bit more and i don't mean to frighten you but there are some sick people in this world. sure not all people are like that but best to be on the safe side. another thing.. make sure you have enough money for a return trip JUST INCASE... you don't wanna move somewhere where you have no family, friends and don't even know the place and have him just leave you. other then that I would say go for it. just try to get your job fast.. I knew an online couple that the female came from Michigan to Florida and just sat behind her computer all day playing games.. never looked for a job or anything. now they are separated and won't talk too one another. hope it works out for you, Phil Link to comment
Rainy Posted October 20, 2004 Author Share Posted October 20, 2004 sorry i didnt make myself clear, i have stayed with my boyfriend for a week and we vivsit each other every month and i know he isnt a weirdo, as for when i do move il probably look for a job the day i move. im being serious!!, as i hate living off other people, it makes me co uncomfortable, I know when i tell my parents, they will be devastated that i am leavn Link to comment
Scout Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 Just a question...why can't he move to where you live? How did you two decide it was best that you be the one to move? Link to comment
Rainy Posted October 20, 2004 Author Share Posted October 20, 2004 he has a better paid job and his parents are willing to let me stay until we get a place of our own, at my house its not big enough Link to comment
Dominique130 Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 I moved accross the country to spend the summer (4 months) living with my boyfriend. I've since had to move back home to go to school but we are still together and doing the ldr thing until he comes back. I was happy to move to be with him. I won't say it was the easiest thing to do as there was a lot of risk involved (What if we broke up? what if I didnt get a job? etc), but seeing it work out has made me all the more certain of our committment to each other. We lived together really well, and I am glad I went. The only thing that put some strain on our relationship is that I knew absolutely no one in the city so all my social contact was with my bf. It made me a lot more "needy" than I normally am. I was a bit lonely and missed my girlfriends. I would recommend that before you move you discuss with him that you will need him a lot more than you do normally, he needs to be prepared to spend a LOT of time with you until you get settled into your own life there. Link to comment
arwen Posted October 20, 2004 Share Posted October 20, 2004 Well, I am just together with my bf for 2.5 month, and we have discussed things like him studying here, or me working there. But for now, we will just try and see each other every 2 months. I would consider leaving to his country, and he has made comments about working here. His way of saying is then, 'I would be close to you...', it's all that matters to me now. I hope things will work out for you! Cloud, I find it wonderful to meet a young guy here that is so committed! She is a lucky girl! Ilse. Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 I moved thousands of miles to be with Aaron. Unfortunately, I did not have anyone to help support me while looking for a job, and money ran out after three weeks so I was forced to return home. But that didn't stop us, and we're still going strong and working on being together soon. Link to comment
Rainy Posted October 21, 2004 Author Share Posted October 21, 2004 Thanks everyone for your posts, I cant wait to be with my boyfriend, and last night he was informing me that he will be asking me to marry him but it will be a surprise when it happens and i wont expect it when he does do it, I so want to move to be with him, but the hardest part will be telling my parents that im moving, i dont think they will be happy and i think there could be alot of fighting But at the end of the day i dont want to loose my boyfriend and i love him so much , i just need to pesualde my parents thats its a good idea, dont get me wrong my parents have met Rob and they really like him!! which is a huge bonus Link to comment
stolenshadow Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Hi Rainy, what I can tell you from my experience is not to move feeling guilty for what you "leave behind". Your parents won't be forever with you, and surely they don't expect you to live close to them all your life, they probably just want you to be happy, but don't move until you feel you are ready, otherwise you might spend a lot of time down and sad when you are far away. Don't see it as a "I would leave this to get something else", moving away from your parents is not leaving them, they have each other and they forever will be your family. If you feel ok with it your parents will see that, but if they see you scared they will worry and ask you to stay. When you decide to move just try to make friends as soon as you are there, any friend, and also spend time alone, go out by yourself if your bf is not around, that way you can also feel more comfortable in the new place. Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 I thought that my parents would be FURIOUS! I lied to them for weeks about what I was planning because I was afraid to tell them. But eventually it all came out... and I was completely shocked by their response. All they cared about was that I would have a place to sleep and food to eat and that I would be safe. They never expressed a single concern or doubt (although I know they had a ton of them). So you may be surprised. Link to comment
Rainy Posted October 25, 2004 Author Share Posted October 25, 2004 Hi, just told my parents about it all, and they are fine with it. alittle worried but they are coo with it, its such a relief!!!!!! Link to comment
ayekasong Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 Good for you Rainy! I wish you the best. I wish I had the choice to move in with my boyfriend, or at least closer to him... but that isn't even an option until next September. Link to comment
tea Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 When I get a chance to move in with my boyfriend, I'll be gone soooo fast that they won't see me leaving! Link to comment
Rainy Posted October 26, 2004 Author Share Posted October 26, 2004 im so excited i really cant wait!!!! Link to comment
ComputerGuy Posted October 27, 2004 Share Posted October 27, 2004 Congrats and good luck Link to comment
faeriechyld Posted October 28, 2004 Share Posted October 28, 2004 Just a thought, why can't you start looking for a job now? It will give you a one up for what's available there. And you could even set up interviews for right after you arrive. Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Just an update... Aaron (my boyfriend) and I just talked, and we're in the process of planning to move in together by next January (2006). I'm really excited! I have been wanting to get out on my own for a while but knew I'd need a room mate to help share the cost of a house or an apartment. Who better to share that part of my life with? And it will help him become comfortable with how life together would be if we get married, and hopefully will eliminate some of his fears about that whole aspect. Link to comment
OldGuy Posted November 1, 2004 Share Posted November 1, 2004 Congratulations and good luck to you. Keep us posted. Link to comment
ComputerGuy Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 OMG, that's great news Kari.....good luck, PS, not long to go now huh??? Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted November 2, 2004 Share Posted November 2, 2004 LOL! 57 days and counting! It's definitely getting easier. To be honest I just quit school so I can focus on working. And some really awesome things have started happening, but I can't really talk about them yet because they're a little up in the air. But things are amazingly wonderful right now! Link to comment
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