I'm 23, he's 44-- Flirting with danger or attraction?

[TrueHeart]

I've been in and out of bad relationships within the past 3 years.. Lately, I've finally gotten rid of the men in my life that have caused me tremendous heartache. I have been spending time with my "second family"- with whom I am very close to. And noticed that I catch myself flirting with my friend's father!!

 

He was in the middle of a divorce which his wife of 23 years came out of the closet, and left him for another woman.-- and I 7 months into being completely single. We have been a close "family" for almost 8 years, so his wife's coming-out was a shock to many.

 

Lately, we have been flirting on and on with eachother. I am finding that I think about him all the time, wonder what he's doing... and feel like I'm falling in love!!! I'm really not sure what all this means though. We are mutually attracted to each other, and spend a lot of time together-- going out drinking, and just chatting. He's on a very intellectual level, and appreciates ME for ME.. He doesn't play games that I've noticed younger men do, and thats what I love about him...

 

We are completely careful on our display of our attraction and flirtation around mutual friends and family only because of the closeness of our friendship. And his divorce is not yet set in stone, but still we're using the best discretion.

Thing is, I forsee us letting our attraction towards eachother take hold. Once again, we're using best of discretion and trying to control our feelings.

 

However, I can't help but to think that this surge of emotion and affection we have towards eachother might end up in the bedroom-- and though a relationship would be totally out of the question at this point in time, I can't help but to think how attracted we are toward eachother..

 

Should I proceed? Is this type of flirting dangerous, or perhaps healthy?

 

Help!

[Day_Walker]

If you have a history of picking bad relationships then what makes you think that this guy is any different? The problem with age gap relationships is that you have to figure out why a two people with a twenty year age difference connect on a personal level. One party would have to severly inadequate in order for the relationship to work. Now im not saying that such relationships cannot work but just cuz something works doesnt mean that it works well. Is it really necessary to date a man that is 20 years your senior? I believe you are asking for trouble.

[pineapplegirl]

BE VERY CAREFUL!!! You are definitely dealing with someone that may not be sure of what he wants, and is dealing with a lot of baggage... actually it seems more like CARGO!!! It's a tough call. I hope it works out for you.

[Michael2]

Day walker hit it on the head.

 

You are opening a can of worms.

 

To be honest, I can not see anything good coming out of this.

 

He is old enough to be your father, and in a freudian way, I feel you may look at him more as a father figure.

[geo_jane]

he...is dealing with a lot of baggage... actually it seems more like CARGO!!!

lol, that's good! And I agree.

[TrueHeart]

Thanks guys, I do appreciate the feedback... Like I said, its not like we're looking for a relationship or anyting like that-- I merely was asking if the flirting part was normal. I don't have a history of picking bad men, more or less just the wrong ones-- what I mean by that is they play games.

 

I am very VERY careful enough to not overstep my bounds with him. I do see him as more of a buddy, and not a father figure because I have siblings his age, and my parents are in their 60's... So I can closely relate to that.

 

About the baggage thing, I agree. The oldest man I ever dated was 10 years my senior and he had more cargo than Fedex plane. It was rather a hinderance in our relationship because of the hang-ups he had about women. We're better friends though, instead of lovers. So I am aware of that fact... I just wanted to know if flirting was dangerous with a man twice my age...

[antzca2000]

i dont think flirtings a good thing either, itll just get you more attracted towards him.