I'm gutted that this is how it is - the silence

[leftme]

I believe I'm doing really well with my break-up. Dealing with it that is. It's been 5 weeks now after 4 years together where we were eachothers first and shared so much.

 

I understand that 4 years from 18-22 isn't a bad run for a relationship and it was likely we'd grow apart at some point. It's strange how naive I was about the longevity of relationships until it all went south. You think you’re meant to be, talk about marriage and then poof – gone!

 

She’s a wonderful girl, not a bad bone in her body but she just wasn’t ready for commitment it freaked her out that I was going to propose and she became more and more distant, I became more and more clingy and then it was all over. “I don’t feel in-love with you anymore”.

 

I’m strangely happy to move on. The timing isn’t right and settling down from 18-75 with her (or anyone) without experiencing the world a bit wouldn’t have worked for me either. I want to move abroad and travel whereas she is happy to stay in her hometown for life. There’s millions of women on this planet who I may fall in love with again.

 

I’d become socially dependent upon her and missed out on so much. Already I’m reinventing myself socially. Getting involved in different hobbies and regaining my confidence in talking to women.

 

My message to you all is forget about the negative feelings (they strike you when you’re bored) and look at the positives. Regardless of whether it was your fault or not life’s not waiting for you and it’s now passing you by. Maybe in 6 months, a year or 5 I’ll get in touch with my ex but not to get back with her. Just to catch up and share our experiences. Maybe we will get back together or maybe we won’t. I didn’t know her 5 years ago, she was madly in love with me 1 year ago, who really knows what will happen in another 5?

 

I have an image of her without me sleeping around a little (various short term partners) and maybe having a child, living on her low income in the same town as her parents and grand parents. I pushed her to better herself as I’m very career orientated but I pushed her away I think. That’s not the life plan for me just now, maybe when I’m a little older. /rant

[Minx2012]

As a 33 yr old, I will tell you, that at 22 yrs old, you SHOULD be dating as many women as possible, traveling around as much as possible ( exploring the world ) and building your career. If you think about it, you are only 3 yrs out of highschool ( out of the teenage years ). How anyone would want to settle into marriage at the age of 22 yrs old, at this day and age, at such an exciting world, is beyond me. And when you reach my age, you'll find that it opens up a whole new different chapter of excitement altogether...bc theoretically and hopefully, in your 30s, your career is established, making your own money and forging some major wonderful decisions. When you're in your 30s, then it's time to think about marriage...but not in your 20s.

 

You will thank her wholeheartedly for dumping you in the future. It's GREAT to be single at your age I remember my 20s fondly! So much fun

[leftme]

Great to hear this. I wasn't quite clear though. She 'thought' I was going to propose. I merely said to her I wouldn't be with you for 4 years if I didn't one day hope to marry you. "I'm as a freee ass aaa bbiiirrrrdddd nnnoooowwww! & This bird you cannot change!"