I'm the guy who has always been alone

[Wolfewood]

And really, it's killing me. Well, it's been unsuccessful so far, but cowardice, not self-control (or any force of benevolence), is responcible for my suicidal failures.

 

I'll spare you the full-on autobio for now. After all, before I devote any time to this it would be nice to know someone cares (or at least shows interest).

 

But in any case, it's not hard to fill in a few details:

 

I'm 18

I've never had a girlfriend

no girl has ever been interested in me

I'm unwanted, unlovable, presumably un****able

I'm a bit overweight

I'm part Asian

I'm an introvert, though I'd like to think I'm "in recovery"

I suppose I must be ugly, to an extent

I mean girls can tolerate my presense

. . . but I doubt many picture me naked

I've been depressed about this since middle school

I've had a lot of practice suppressing my emotions

but every once in a while I crack

and I pick up the pieces

and I put on a happy face

I'm one of the true romantice guys

 

more than anything, I want someone to love

although sex would be just nifty

but really, I want a serious relationship

I want someone to hold

to cuddle with all night

to share everything with

I would NEVER use a girl

I see girls go for the same guys time and time again

I see them take so much ****

and I see them move on to the next piece of abusive, worthless ****

and I think to myself how good I would be to them

not just to keep them, and not to validate my worth

but because that's what I want

I want to love

but it seems I'm unfit for it

that even now, now that I've managed to break out of my shyness

and talk to girls, be myself around them, make them laugh

be the person my friends see

I'm still unwanted, unloveable, un****able

I lack the ability to attract, I guess

life is a board game where there's so many places to start from

I got ****ed

our personalities are the sum of our life experiences

we are molded by events we had no control over

but is mine that bad? no

that's why, i guess, after so many years of trying

now that I can be myself around girls

now that I can make them laugh

they still don't want me

they didn't want shy, repressed me

and they don't want me

that's why it hurts so much

maybe I'm genetrash

garbage not meant to be passed on

good thing I don't believe in fate, in "meant to be" 's

actually, it's pretty sad that they don't exist

I know there's not someone for everyone

I know some men live and die alone

I've heard rants from 50yr old dudes who've never been kissed

it sickens me, that the world is so unfair

that some of us will never be wanted

 

 

That was a bit more than I intended to write, but I'm guessing you guys have caught the gist of it by now:

 

me need girl

girls not like me

me good guy, funny funny, can make laugh

not shy anymore

girls still not like me

oh ****

*downloads diagrahm of circulatory system*

damnit, still a ***** (rhymes with wussy, hell it's even a synonym!)

knife goes back in kitchen

 

helluva recap, no?

Anyways, this is a serious post, I'm really on the verge of killing myself (not like 5min verge, but coming weeks/months kinda verge), but more than that, this pain has kept me from ever really having a life. It's destroyed much of what I had, of my empty excuse for a life.

Straight A student turned dropout.

several of my friends have abandoned my whining ***** ass

seems I'm growing an obsessive love of list-making

kinda like that guy from High Fidelity

hell, i am that guy

or would be, if girls actually liked me in the first place

 

What I Do Not Want to Hear:

 

see a psychologist/psychiatrist - I currently am, worthless

 

you must love yourself b/f ect. - single dumbest self-help line EVER

besides, I've been lovin myself at least 4 times a day for 5 years

but as Green Day said,

 

"once masturbation's lost its fun, you're ****in' lonely"

 

What I Do Want to Hear

is advice on getting a girl, good advice

or anything, really

sometimes all I do is cry all day

I've promised myself I'll go through with the suicide by the my 20th birth-day

I figure if it doesn't happen by then (getting gf), I'm hopeless, sad, pathetic, and will never succeed

and if I can't succeed at this, the friggin' reason of life-->women/relationships

though we're not supposed to admit that's it

there's no reason to succeed at anything

I can get straight A's in school but if I have no one to love what's the f'n point of it, of anything?!

don't answer that, because there is none

to try to convince me otherwise is futile

 

help me get a girl

please

[Wolfewood]

Since there've been no responces,

*glares at reader*

I thought I'd take a look at what I posted.

eh . . . kinda sloppy. My mind poured out on paper, you might say.

Still, the question is: how do I get a girl.

My depression/suicide contemplations may have dominated the post, but rest assured the topic is girls. I just wanted you guys to have some background ect.

[drahcir]

I'm 18

I've never had a girlfriend

no girl has ever been interested in me

 

---hey maybe there have been girls interested in you but they are too shy or nervous to tell you that. There have been like 100 girls i have been interested in, and i only told a couple that i really liked them

 

I'm unwanted, unlovable, presumably un****able

I'm a bit overweight

 

-----then lose some weight

 

I'm part Asian

I'm an introvert, though I'd like to think I'm "in recovery"

 

--introversion is healthy, and its part of who you are. So accept it and appreciate it

 

I suppose I must be ugly, to an extent

 

-everyone is ugly to some extent, and also beautiful to some extent. You are probably more attractive than what you thihnk

 

I mean girls can tolerate my presense

. . . but I doubt many picture me naked

 

---most girls don't want to picture any guy they don't know naked!!!!

 

I've been depressed about this since middle school

I've had a lot of practice suppressing my emotions

but every once in a while I crack

and I pick up the pieces

and I put on a happy face

I'm one of the true romantice guys

 

---most guys are very romantic, you are not alone

 

more than anything, I want someone to love

although sex would be just nifty

but really, I want a serious relationship

I want someone to hold

to cuddle with all night

 

----there are lots of girls who like to give hugs even if they aren't your girlfriend. I get hugs all the time from girls who have boyfriends or even husbands, and they don't care.

 

to share everything with

I would NEVER use a girl

 

---neither would most guys

 

I see girls go for the same guys time and time again

I see them take so much ****

and I see them move on to the next piece of abusive, worthless ****

and I think to myself how good I would be to them

not just to keep them, and not to validate my worth

but because that's what I want

I want to love

 

---love yourself first, before you learn to love someone else

 

but it seems I'm unfit for it

that even now, now that I've managed to break out of my shyness

and talk to girls, be myself around them, make them laugh

be the person my friends see

I'm still unwanted, unloveable, un****able

I lack the ability to attract, I guess

 

--you can always learn it. Books and the internet are a great source....

 

life is a board game where there's so many places to start from

I got ****ed

our personalities are the sum of our life experiences

we are molded by events we had no control over

but is mine that bad? no

that's why, i guess, after so many years of trying

now that I can be myself around girls

now that I can make them laugh

they still don't want me

they didn't want shy, repressed me

and they don't want me

that's why it hurts so much

maybe I'm genetrash

garbage not meant to be passed on

good thing I don't believe in fate, in "meant to be" 's

actually, it's pretty sad that they don't exist

I know there's not someone for everyone

I know some men live and die alone

I've heard rants from 50yr old dudes who've never been kissed

it sickens me, that the world is so unfair

that some of us will never be wanted

 

------NO ONE comes into this world unwanted. Someone wants YOU

 

That was a bit more than I intended to write, but I'm guessing you guys have caught the gist of it by now:

 

me need girl

girls not like me

me good guy, funny funny, can make laugh

not shy anymore

girls still not like me

oh ****

*downloads diagrahm of circulatory system*

damnit, still a ***** (rhymes with wussy, hell it’s even a synonym!)

knife goes back in kitchen

 

----knives should be kept in the kitchen, so you don't hurt yourself

 

helluva recap, no?

Anyways, this is a serious post, I'm really on the verge of killing myself (not like 5min verge, but coming weeks/months kinda verge), but more than that, this pain has kept me from ever really having a life. It's destroyed much of what I had, of my empty excuse for a life.

Straight A student turned dropout.

 

---go back to school and earn those A's again. Esp. in psychology classes, it will impress the girls!!!!

 

several of my friends have abandoned my whining ***** *beep*

seems I'm growing an obsessive love of list-making

kinda like that guy from High Fidelity

hell, i am that guy

or would be, if girls actually liked me in the first place

 

What I Do Not Want to Hear:

 

see a psychologist/psychiatrist - I currently am, worthless

 

---many are worthless, you are right. They won't help you find a girlfriend. Only YOU can do that

 

you must love yourself b/f ect. - single dumbest self-help line EVER

besides, I've been lovin myself at least 4 times a day for 5 years

but as Green Day said,

 

"once masturbation's lost its fun, you're ****in' lonely"

 

 

-okay you love yourself. Well tell the girls you love that you love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

What I Do Want to Hear

 

 

is advice on getting a girl, good advice

or anything, really

sometimes all I do is cry all day

I've promised myself I'll go through with the suicide by the my 20th birth-day

I figure if it doesn't happen by then (getting gf), I'm hopeless, sad, pathetic, and will never succeed

and if I can't succeed at this, the friggin' reason of life-->women/relationships

though we're not supposed to admit that's it

there's no reason to succeed at anything

I can get straight A's in school but if I have no one to love what's the f'n point of it, of anything?!

 

---tahts true. But it shows responsibility and maturity, and that impressed girls

 

 

don't answer that, because there is none

to try to convince me otherwise is futile

 

help me get a girl

please

 

----just keep trying and never give up.. Hey if you really like a girl, tell her that you really like her, and WHY she is so special. Doing so will probably make you win her heart!!!!!!!!

[Wolfewood]

blind optimism only goes so far

I couldn't just keep waiting for it to happen. Waiting for someone to like me back.

I had my first emotional breakdown at the end of junior year. Since then I've had my ups and downs.

[Wolfewood]

"shows responsibility and maturity, and that impressed girls"

 

since when? girls don't look for maturity/responsibility/loyalty

any of that crap. sure, they say they want it, and do, maybe. but most of all they want someone they have chemistry with. that's it, really.

there's not a checklist. if they don't FEEL an attraction then you're nothing to them.

 

"---go back to school and earn those A's again. Esp. in psychology classes, it will impress the girls!!!! "

 

see above. intelligence matters least of all. what does an iq have to do with love, anyway.

 

"-okay you love yourself. Well tell the girls you love that you love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

a responce worthy of a lmao. well played, good sir.

 

"NO ONE comes into this world unwanted. Someone wants YOU "

I f'n hope so.

 

 

"you can always learn it. Books and the internet are a great source.... "

the hell? unless there's some book for pulling a Jedi Mind Trick. . .

 

"----there are lots of girls who like to give hugs even if they aren't your girlfriend. I get hugs all the time from girls who have boyfriends or even husbands, and they don't care. "

thanks for the heads up. I'll be sure to tackler her to couch next time I see one.

 

"---most girls don't want to picture any guy they don't know naked"

girls don't fantasize? you're deluding yourself here.

 

"--introversion is healthy, and its part of who you are. So accept it and appreciate it "

appreciate it? hell no. ****ing cerebellum.

 

"then lose some weight "

i'm in the process

 

"----just keep trying and never give up.. Hey if you really like a girl, tell her that you really like her, and WHY she is so special. Doing so will probably make you win her heart!!!!!!!!"

did that work for you? I am NOT trying to be mean here, but from when I lurked here last I remember you (i think) were pretty lonely. did something happen since then?

[Bestinclass]

I don't know if this will help you get a girl, but thought you might like a woman's perspective

 

Women like guys who feel confident about themselves. Or at least act confident. If you aren't satisfied with yourself physically, start taking better care of yourself (women like that and they notice). That might make you feel more confident too.

 

Something else that is hard to do, especially if you are shy, is to put yourself out there. What I mean by that is going out and meet girls. LOTS of girls. Practice, practice, practice! The more you do it the easier it will seem. Make it your project - to talk to one new girl every day.

 

One other thing, I suspect that the girls you've been talking to have been in the "friend" category. To be considered serious boyfriend material you have to let your them know you're interested in going out.

 

PS There are a LOT of girls at school!

 

I hope this helps.

[sole]

I feel ya Wolfewood. I've lived in your shoes and I think I still do. I know how impossible it is to be optimistic about everything. Yeah I'm a girl but I've gone through the same thing as you. Hell I even tried to kill myself in college becasue I was so lonely and depressed but it failed. And nobody knew until now (except for 1 quiet friend).And I admit I will never do it again. Anyway, I'm 23 and never dated anyone! Never kissed anyone. I found out recently that the only guys who flirt with me have girlfriends. How f***** up is that? And I'm an introvert as well. But I'll tell you why I'm still here at 24 and alone. . .

1. I take close notice of guys who pay any attention to me. Even a short Hey-I'm kinda-checking-you-out look. Trust me girls are doing that to you but you just aren;t picking up on it. I didn't pick up on it until a couple years ago. Once you become more perceptive you'll get more confident because you know someone has SOME interest in you. And you can flaunt what you got.

2. When you see couples hanging out don't let that get to you. Just think to yourself they're both conceited, nasty, fake, will break up in any moment, undesireable, loud, obnoxious, attentionhogs, drama players etc. Basically, convince yourself that coupledom is a prison and it's better to play the field! Right now I'm trying to convince myself couples suck and I'd rather flirt (even with taken guys).But I'm working on the shy factor.

3. I have to agree with you. Girls do fantasize about naked guys they don't know. I know I do. I don't know M. Knight Shymalan but I fantasize about him sometimes. So, I say get a magazine and fantasize so you can get your attnetion away from females who are around you.

4. I don't think you're ugly. Even though I've never seen you. I thought I was ugly. Until I noticed guys noticing me, then I thought hell I can't be that ugly! But confidence was also a big part of that. Once I built up my self-confidence even just a little I started noticing or getting attention. 8)

5. I see guys go for the same big chested, small brained, bimbos even though I would treat the guys like a rare blue diamond if I had the chance. BUT I don't let that get to me because I know there has to be at least one guy out there who has a brain beyond the one they're using in their pants. The same goes for girls. I know you'll find some girls who aren't superficial and who are intelligent and down to earth. They'll probably show up when you least expect it. So stop expecting them!!

6. GO BACK TO SCHOOL! Once you go to a huge college, you're chances of talking to and flirting with and meeting a girl skyrockets!! How old are you? If you were in college when you dropped out, then go back because you can still get a girl just be more perceptive at who's watching you.

 

I'll add more later when I think of some more advice. BUT if this advice sucks let me know and I'll stop typing. But hang in there. Don't give up yet. If I'm still here at 24 then I know you can suck it up and make it there too.

[xbox_modding_freak]

See read that edited post and its me... I dont go round feeling sorry for myself I try and do something...Every time i get rejected i bounce back stronger and unaffected... i changed my attitude recently and the girl i like is starting to like me back.... U can be like that or be like me and change ure attitude...Pm me on MSN/AIM/Boards anytime to talk man i know how u feel and it Sux0rz

 

-XmF

 

-Don't forget your not the only one!!!

[xbox_modding_freak]

If u were 12 in my school and lived near my area none of that would be true

 

 

-XmF

[Wolfewood]

Looks like I really embellished one part of my original post, the part about how all the guys who get girls are bastards. Really, a lot of them are, but not most. I hang out with a couple guys who are great at getting women, and most of them are genuinely good guys. They're the ones who usually wind up getting their hearts broken. In reality, girls are just as likely to cheat as guys. If you're wondering what the point of this paragraph is, I just felt compelled to correct an error.

 

Big thanks to sole and bestinclass for writing.

 

"Women like guys who feel confident about themselves. Or at least act confident. If you aren't satisfied with yourself physically, start taking better care of yourself (women like that and they notice). That might make you feel more confident too."

 

I've actually gotten a lot better at being confident around girls lately. I'm feeling better overall in comparison to how I was months ago, and my default mood is no longer depressed. I can actually hang out with girls all night and not get depressed . . . until it becomes apparent that she's interested in my friend, not me. At which point I gracefully sulk off to the shadows. One of my friends in particular has some talent I can't comprehend. He doesn't even try sometimes, and girls just throw themselves at him. He's been trying to help me for months but, I can never be him. And next to him, next to just about any of my friends or practically any other guy, I'm never chosen. I must be inferior. God, I love my friends but I can't help hating them. It's amazing I haven't grown bitter towards women as well. As for exercise and stuff, I'm in the process. I've lost 20 pounds, and it is a noticeable improvement, but I could stand to lose 30 more.

 

"Something else that is hard to do, especially if you are shy, is to put yourself out there. What I mean by that is going out and meet girls. LOTS of girls. Practice, practice, practice! The more you do it the easier it will seem. Make it your project - to talk to one new girl every day."

 

Interesting idea. I might use that. The practice I've had the last few months has been an immense help.

 

"One other thing, I suspect that the girls you've been talking to have been in the "friend" category."

 

Until recently I didn't even have friends who are girls. In any case, none are a real possibility at this point.

 

"To be considered serious boyfriend material you have to let your them know you're interested in going out."

 

This is so friggin' complicated, though, making the first move. Such as in the group scenario:

I tell one girl I'm interested

she rejects me

no one wants to be 2nd choice

"Hey I like your friend a lot! You're cool too though, wanna date? No? Alright. Hey, weren't there three of you?"

 

"PS There are a LOT of girls at school! "

Well, I kinda neutered my chance of getting into a good (highly populated) college. I'll prolly wind up going to some local community thing. Better than nothing, I guess.

 

"I feel ya Wolfewood. I've lived in your shoes and I think I still do. I know how impossible it is to be optimistic about everything. Yeah I'm a girl but I've gone through the same thing as you. Hell I even tried to kill myself in college becasue I was so lonely and depressed but it failed. And nobody knew until now (except for 1 quiet friend).And I admit I will never do it again. Anyway, I'm 23 and never dated anyone! Never kissed anyone. I found out recently that the only guys who flirt with me have girlfriends. How f***** up is that? And I'm an introvert as well. But I'll tell you why I'm still here at 24 and alone. . . "

 

Hard to imagine girls can wind up feeling this way too. Well, taking into account how terrified guys are of rejection (I know I am), I guess not. But trust me, LOTS of guys have been drooling over you over the years. Damn, if it was society's policy for girls to make the first move, the world would be a much happier place. Your odds of rejection are so much slimmer than mine. I've walked through my whole life with the "I'm not good enough for her/she'd never settle for me" mentality, and a lot of the girls I've had crushes on have been considered . . . to be nice, not exactly gorgeous. Not everyone is a diehard fan of the movie star image. I actually like pale skin over tans and chest size isn't even an issue. For you, I'd say, if there's a guy you like and you know he's available, just ask him out. I'd say the same for me, but . . . hell, I do say the same for me . . . except not with guys . . . yeah.

 

"I take close notice of guys who pay any attention to me. Even a short Hey-I'm kinda-checking-you-out look. Trust me girls are doing that to you but you just aren;t picking up on it. I didn't pick up on it until a couple years ago. Once you become more perceptive you'll get more confident because you know someone has SOME interest in you. And you can flaunt what you got."

 

Sure I shouldn't cover that **** up? Seriously though, I don't do much flaunting. I'll try working on the perception thing.

 

"When you see couples hanging out don't let that get to you. Just think to yourself they're both conceited, nasty, fake, will break up in any moment, undesireable, loud, obnoxious, attentionhogs, drama players etc. Basically, convince yourself that coupledom is a prison and it's better to play the field! Right now I'm trying to convince myself couples suck and I'd rather flirt (even with taken guys).But I'm working on the shy factor."

Not happenin'.

 

"3. I have to agree with you. Girls do fantasize about naked guys they don't know. I know I do. I don't know M. Knight Shymalan but I fantasize about him sometimes. So, I say get a magazine and fantasize so you can get your attnetion away from females who are around you."

 

M. Night Shymalan?! Holy Hell! Maybe there's hope for me yet!

Was that your intended reaction, or are you serious, lol? I actually wanna know. Not making fun of M., he's just a surprising example, lol.

 

I've lived pretty much my whole life inside my skull. Not good enough for this world, I lived in dreams. I'm through fantasizing about girls I can never touch. I need someone real. Actually I've been fantasizing exclusively about girls I know for quite some time now. I just like sounding overdramatic, I guess.

 

"5. I see guys go for the same big chested, small brained, bimbos even though I would treat the guys like a rare blue diamond if I had the chance. BUT I don't let that get to me because I know there has to be at least one guy out there who has a brain beyond the one they're using in their pants. The same goes for girls. I know you'll find some girls who aren't superficial and who are intelligent and down to earth. They'll probably show up when you least expect it. So stop expecting them!! "

 

It goes deeper than finding a girl who's not superficial. There has to be at least some physical attraction for a relationship to exist. I can't blame girls for not being attracted to me, can I? The superficial part only enters the equation when girls want a trophy to show off.

BTW, it sounds like some guy is really missing out on you right now.

 

"6. GO BACK TO SCHOOL! Once you go to a huge college, you're chances of talking to and flirting with and meeting a girl skyrockets!! How old are you? If you were in college when you dropped out, then go back because you can still get a girl just be more perceptive at who's watching you."

 

I'm 18. My grades went to hell the 2nd semester of junior year and I quit near the beginning of senior year. I'll get a GED soon (how hard could it be?) and actually have the opportunity to start college in January. Of course, as I mentioned above, it won't be the huge, girls-everywhere college we have in mind.

 

"I'll add more later when I think of some more advice. BUT if this advice sucks let me know and I'll stop typing. But hang in there. Don't give up yet. If I'm still here at 24 then I know you can suck it up and make it there too."

 

Hey, it's great to hear from someone who sounds so supportive, so don't think you typed this for nothing.

I kinda promised myself that if I'm still alone by my 20th birthday, I'll kill myself. Don't think I'm telling you (or anyone else) to do the same, but come on, if 2 years of trying gets me nowhere . . . I may feel like killing myself now, but I'll stick to my promise. God-willing (already given up on him), I won't have anything to go through with, but, if in 2 years my life still amounts to nothing, than will it ever? I don't actually intend to kill myself. I intend to get a girl, prove to myself that I'm not worthless, that I am wanted, and put my depression behind me.

[Wolfewood]

If u were 12 in my school and lived near my area none of that would be true

 

 

-XmF

 

ARGH!! XmF get off my koolaid, lol.

 

ahem,

1. an introvert is a person who's always thinking, reflecting, keeping to himself, as opposed to extroverts, who are the talkitive ones. introverts/extroverts are dominant in different sections of the brain. you can look up a better definition than that. personally i consider it a curse. introverts are outnumbered 3 to 1, or 4 to 1 or something like that.

 

2. 15? Kill yourself at 15?! dude, you're only 12. I WISH I could be 12 again so I could change my life back then, get used to talking to girls back then. I wasted a good deal of my youth, not all, but a lot. 6 of my wasted years you still have. use them, learn from them. if i could have started changing back in middle school I might've been normal. you're what, a 6th grader? your time is now, XmF. live. leave the dying to some dumbass. possibly me. hopefully not.

[Alabama]

I'm 18 and I've never had a girlfriend. It can be a hard feeling wondering if you'll ever find love, or mourning that no one else has shown any interest in you. Yet you should like yourself first and be confident. So love hasn't found you yet...don't worry. You're never too old to find love. Don't give up...good luck!

[sole]

 

One of my friends in particular has some talent I can’t comprehend. He doesn’t even try sometimes, and girls just throw themselves at him. He’s been trying to help me for months but, I can never be him. And next to him, next to just about any of my friends or practically any other guy, I’m never chosen. I must be inferior. God, I love my friends but I can’t help hating them. It’s amazing I haven’t grown bitter towards women as well. As for exercise and stuff, I’m in the process. I’ve lost 20 pounds, and it is a noticeable improvement, but I could stand to lose 30 more.

 

I had friends like that in high school but most of them looked like models! I guess that's why my self-esteemed sucked back then. It's hard comparing yourself to friends who look like they just stepped out of a magazine! Well anyway, I think girls throw themselves at your friend because they can sense his confidence a mile away. I can spot a confident guy from accross a crowded noisy room. So, if you exude confidence from every pore on your body, then you'll be drowned in ladies. Right now I kinda have a crush on this guy. He's not a looker but his confidence is off the charts!

 

This is so friggin’ complicated, though, making the first move. Such as in the group scenario:

I tell one girl I’m interested

she rejects me

no one wants to be 2nd choice

“Hey I like your friend a lot! You're cool too though, wanna date? No? Alright. Hey, weren’t there three of you?”

 

Did you ask her when you're not in the group ? Or calling her? That way IF she rejects you you can call her friend right away. Although it might get around later

 

"PS There are a LOT of girls at school! "

Well, I kinda neutered my chance of getting into a good (highly populated) college. I’ll prolly wind up going to some local community thing. Better than nothing, I guess.

 

I had friends in community college who transferred to big 10 schools. So you can do good in community college and transfer after your first year.

Then the good times are a go!

 

Hard to imagine girls can wind up feeling this way too. Well, taking into account how terrified guys are of rejection (I know I am), I guess not. But trust me, LOTS of guys have been drooling over you over the years. Damn, if it was society’s policy for girls to make the first move, the world would be a much happier place. Your odds of rejection are so much slimmer than mine. I’ve walked through my whole life with the “I’m not good enough for her/she’d never settle for me” mentality, and a lot of the girls I’ve had crushes on have been considered . . . to be nice, not exactly gorgeous. Not everyone is a diehard fan of the movie star image. I actually like pale skin over tans and chest size isn’t even an issue. For you, I’d say, if there’s a guy you like and you know he’s available, just ask him out. I’d say the same for me, but . . . hell, I do say the same for me . . . except not with guys . . . yeah.

 

Sad isn't it? Girls go through the same thing! Shouldn't I be cheering you up? You ARE a nice guy! I'm not into model perfect people either. They tend to be shallow and arrogant. No offense to the good beautiful people out there. But you should get rid of the "i'm not good enough" attitude just to boost your confidence. I thought that once but then I said if they can't see past looks or try to get to know my personality then they are stupid and shallow anyway.

 

"I take close notice of guys who pay any attention to me. Even a short Hey-I'm kinda-checking-you-out look. Trust me girls are doing that to you but you just aren;t picking up on it. I didn't pick up on it until a couple years ago. Once you become more perceptive you'll get more confident because you know someone has SOME interest in you. And you can flaunt what you got."

 

Sure I shouldn’t cover that **** up? Seriously though, I don’t do much flaunting. I’ll try working on the perception thing.

 

HA! I didn't do much flaunting either. I'm not a DD so I thought I had nothing to flaunt. But like you mentioned every guy isn't into huge breasts.

Guys would look at me without huge breasts. Hell after that I flaunted whatever I had. Not exactly flaunt but walk confidently like every beautiful thing about me was reflected in my stride. 8)

So, it's not about flaunting the body. Flaunt the confidence!!

 

"3. I have to agree with you. Girls do fantasize about naked guys they don't know. I know I do. I don't know M. Knight Shymalan but I fantasize about him sometimes. So, I say get a magazine and fantasize so you can get your attnetion away from females who are around you."

 

M. Night Shymalan?! Holy Hell! Maybe there’s hope for me yet!

Was that your intended reaction, or are you serious, lol? I actually wanna know. Not making fun of M., he's just a surprising example, lol.

 

Uhhh no I'm not serious. Really I was just kidding.

 

What's wrong with M. Knight? He's sexy in a weird sort of way. Did you see the mock "documentary" of him on Sci-Fi? In reality he rarely does a lot of interviews and he seems uptight when he does them but in the mockumentary He was just kicking back. Anyway, there was SOMETHING about him that turned me on. I'm OFFENDED you would laugh at my fantasy! Let me guess, you think he's a real geek right? So, you see attraction isn't all about looks! 8-[

BTW keep this shocker a secret

 

 

I’ve lived pretty much my whole life inside my skull. Not good enough for this world, I lived in dreams. I’m through fantasizing about girls I can never touch. I need someone real. Actually I've been fantasizing exclusively about girls I know for quite some time now. I just like sounding overdramatic, I guess.

 

I understand. And you're right. I admit I hate fantasizing at times and want the real thing! But you will have to work on your confidence. And it'll only be a matter of time before the real thing comes along. Think of it this way, At least you're being selective! You could go out and get the first female you saw who looked like s*** and acted like s***. Which would actually be pretty easy. But you've chosen to take the high road and wait for something real.

 

"5. I see guys go for the same big chested, small brained, bimbos even though I would treat the guys like a rare blue diamond if I had the chance. BUT I don't let that get to me because I know there has to be at least one guy out there who has a brain beyond the one they're using in their pants. The same goes for girls. I know you'll find some girls who aren't superficial and who are intelligent and down to earth. They'll probably show up when you least expect it. So stop expecting them!! "

 

It goes deeper than finding a girl who’s not superficial. There has to be at least some physical attraction for a relationship to exist. I can’t blame girls for not being attracted to me, can I? The superficial part only enters the equation when girls want a trophy to show off.

BTW, it sounds like some guy is really missing out on you right now.

 

I'm not totally ignoring physical attraction. But it doesn't have to be the ONLY thing a guy looks at. I could say the same for females. It's wrong for girls to choose guys based solely on looks. There are plenty of girls who feel this way. That's why you have to put yourself out there and keep meeting new ones until you come accross THAT girl.

 

"6. GO BACK TO SCHOOL! Once you go to a huge college, you're chances of talking to and flirting with and meeting a girl skyrockets!! How old are you? If you were in college when you dropped out, then go back because you can still get a girl just be more perceptive at who's watching you."

 

I kinda promised myself that if I’m still alone by my 20th birthday, I’ll kill myself. Don’t think I’m telling you (or anyone else) to do the same, but come on, if 2 years of trying gets me nowhere . . . I may feel like killing myself now, but I’ll stick to my promise. God-willing (already given up on him), I won’t have anything to go through with, but, if in 2 years my life still amounts to nothing, than will it ever? I don't actually intend to kill myself. I intend to get a girl, prove to myself that I'm not worthless, that I am wanted, and put my depression behind me.

 

I think you should give your life 4 yrs before deciding whether or not you did a 180. Why? I think you need a year to do well in community college and transfer to a big school, 2 years to build up your confidence and adjust to that school (i.e. do well meet new people), and a year to perfect your chick magnet skills. Yes, chick magnet skills. I swear guys have been using me as a guinea pig for that last one! I'm a grad student and it's unbelievable how guys with girlfriends will try to flirt and pick me up! Which means there's no prospect of a relationship there. All tease no please

But if you encounter a taken flirt, then keep flirting, it's good way to perfect the skills

 

I can tell from your post you're a funny guy. Flaunt that as well. Girls find guys with a sense of humor hot too.

 

[xbox_modding_freak]

If u were 12 in my school and lived near my area none of that would be true

 

 

-XmF

 

ARGH!! XmF get off my koolaid, lol.

 

ahem,

1. an introvert is a person who's always thinking, reflecting, keeping to himself, as opposed to extroverts, who are the talkitive ones. introverts/extroverts are dominant in different sections of the brain. you can look up a better definition than that. personally i consider it a curse. introverts are outnumbered 3 to 1, or 4 to 1 or something like that.

 

2. 15? Kill yourself at 15?! dude, you're only 12. I WISH I could be 12 again so I could change my life back then, get used to talking to girls back then. I wasted a good deal of my youth, not all, but a lot. 6 of my wasted years you still have. use them, learn from them. if i could have started changing back in middle school I might've been normal. you're what, a 6th grader? your time is now, XmF. live. leave the dying to some dumbass. possibly me. hopefully not.

 

 

u obviously didnt read the note at the bottom... Its all about confidence and being ureself...chicks dig it when you act yourself so maybe you should try it

 

-XmF

[SomeGuy112]

Dude Wolf this is an amazing post. First of all I can relate to you in almost every syllable there! Alright I'm not 18 I am 16 though which is close enough, and I have felt much the same way in everything from starting too late to just not fitting the mold, not cutting it or being the stuff that gets asked out.

 

I have a few experiences to share though and perhaps you can help me with your own.

 

First of all practice, which I'm glad you have accepted, does help. My first time trying to impress a girl was a disaster.

 

Second of all that confidence stuff really does work. I was at a part over the summer where I just decided I was really gonna impress this girl right, and I had talked to her enough and stuff that I really wasn't nervous about her at all. So I went in there and in the words of Aerosmith "walked this way." I played twisted with a bunch of girl (something I'd never have done before), was the first one to jump up when she asked who wants to play pool, was dancing the whole time etc.

 

Well the result was I got royally shut down. I also took her too homecoming later and had a horrible time. You know what I did do though? I impressed the other girls at the party, girls I ended up liking a lot more.

 

Currently I'm talking a lot to one of them on AIM and I really like her personality at least on AIM. I think she is similar in real life I've seen her about twice. She seems to flirt but she is younger than me. I don't know does anyone think that something like that is worth a try? I have a gut feeling it wont work and I had that feeling (though much worse) last time when it didn't work and I'd hate to be rejected again.

 

But anyway the point is I had a great time and I never really thought I could get a girl until I tried. Well I'm still not sure I can get a girl, but I will certainly try again.

 

 

 

Wolfe, I noticed some things about you in your post, both good and bad. These are all opinions but I am going to list them in hopes that perhaps you will agree with some and act accordingly.

It seems to me you are:

 

Funny

Poetic

Nice/Care

Insightful maybe slightly philosophical and intelectual

Impacient

Empassionate

Short tempered (and a little rude when it happens)

Undeciding (I'm guessing you have trouble thinking what's the next best thing to say to a girl)

Willful and persistent (and keep on shedding those pounds man)

Morally upright

Pesimisstic

I could be wrong about this but I don't think you are really being suicidal in this post I think it's more of an attention thing.

And finally you are an honest person

 

 

I tried to mix those up so they are in no particular order.

 

If you would like to PM me sometime if you found my stories or advice helpful or just want to talk or even give me advice, please feel free to PM me and I can give you my AIM sn.

[sweethero16]

i think the problem is that you tooo negative im pretty sure there someone out there for you maybe your just not looking hard enough... i believe that GOD image removed[/img]made a companion for everyone and everyones matched with that [one special person maybe you havent applied yourself as much as you should but at any rate you should take pride in yourself before you expect anyone else to

[chai714]

WolfeWood - It begins with your attitude. You seem dark. Go and get your butt in the gym. You dont' like it? FIX IT! Your attitude is what concerns me right now though. With an attitude like that, it's sure to keep the chicks away.

[phantom_]

hey wolfe,

 

im new here, but i'll share my thoughts on this cause it hits close to home.

 

im older then you but i felt the same way for a long time. i thought i wasnt good enough for a quality girl, and that no matter what i do it wont get me anywhere with them..so might as well give up. i was extremely shy and had no skills with the ladies whatsoever. i was deathly afraid of rejection, so this lead to many, many lost oppurtunities, and at the same time making sure i never developed those skills to be good around girls. even today i still have a minor problem with the aspect of fear of rejection..but its not an obstacle anymore.

 

this behavior persisted for awhile until i decided to seriously give the world of dating a shot. i know youre kinda young for that..but im just sharing my experience. why the dating world and not just aquaintences or friends of friends? it forced me to get out there, not stay in the comfort zone, and be open to new experiences, which very well may be hard to live at first. the method i used for my initial phase of this (and still use alot to this day) is Online dating.

 

people can say what they want about online dating, but i like it, and i think it defenitely works. the chance of landing a date are alot better for the average person imo. where else can you go find all single people you know want to date? pretty unbeatable.

 

what was nice about online dating was the chance to showcase my personality without being hindered by factors such as shyness, awkwardness etc that would have happened in a face to face meeting. i found in every case when i would meet these ladies in person i already knew many things about them and what we had in common, so it was much easier to feel comfortable with the process of dating. maybe you could give it a shot. theres alot of big dating sites on the net.

 

overall the dating world had it's ups and downs, of course. i had about 2 or 3 dates a month on average for a long time. maybe thats not much for your typical Player, but for me it was a huge amount. i learned alot about what i want and like from women, and also learned alot about myself. i actually learned that i had some excellent qualities that some of these ladies adored. remember, like you...i used to think i was worthless as a partner/bf.

 

i'd also like to stress you should always look your best when you go out, wether or not theres interesting females present. i gets you into the habit and it quickly becomes something you'll enjoy doing (i hope). it doesnt mean you have to be super fit and have expensive clothes. just take care of yourself..i KNOW the ladies love a man that takes care of his appearance, wether hes society's version of good looking doesnt mean much to most women..believe it or not. they just want a guy that take pride in his appearance just like she does in hers.

 

try and get out there, dont think you suck, and whatever happens, happens. if one person doesnt work out, go on to the next. dont let it get to you. the way i approach each new date is if it works, great, if not, oh well..i tried my best and maybe the next will be made for me.

 

good luck

[xbox_modding_freak]

WolfeWood - It begins with your attitude. You seem dark. Go and get your butt in the gym. You dont' like it? FIX IT! Your attitude is what concerns me right now though. With an attitude like that, it's sure to keep the chicks away.

 

 

yup i used to be like that but ive changed and recently i think a few ladies are interested in me

 

 

-XmF

[SomeGuy112]

the way i approach each new date is if it works, great, if not, oh well..i tried my best and maybe the next will be made for me.

 

Nice advice but I'd like to add something to it. When you go out with a girl yeah, try your best and if it doesn't work then whatever no big man. But also keep in mind that she should be trying her best too. She isn't doing you any favors. If she starts catching on that you are trying too hard or something and that you are really caught onto her, then she might lose interest, and besides you don't just want someone, you want someone you really like. Meeting people online is great, but it is really important to be compatible in real life too. I know several women who are increadibly talkative online and have a great personality and a sense of humor, but are so shy in real life you'd never know it. You gotta figure out what is right for you before you try to be right for them so to speak (except you kinda have to do both at the same time lol).

[jw43677]

I am a girl and I can tell you that the biggest attractive quality for a man is confidence. How do you get a girl? Try! It's like the last person said, ask them out. Whoever you are interested in. Your post reflects that you suspect women to be making the large part of effort, and the truth of the matter is, women still like to be "wooed." It is just as important for us to know someone is interested. honestly, sometimes, even if we are not actually interested in the person, we will go out with them, because they are nice and show that interest. And to the last poster, yes we do picture men naked, we get turned on just as men do, the thing is, that is not the "be all, end all" for us. We women, for the most part, are more concerned with personality....

so basically my advice, keep trying. No girl wants to go out with someone who appears that their whole world is crashing down around them... CONFIDENCE.... even if you have to fake it, will get you somewhere with someone.

[Fretless]

I am a girl and I can tell you that the biggest attractive quality for a man is confidence. so basically my advice, keep trying. No girl wants to go out with someone who appears that their whole world is crashing down around them... CONFIDENCE.... even if you have to fake it, will get you somewhere with someone.

 

I think we need to draw a distinction between "confidence is the biggest turn-on" and "lack of confidence is the biggest turn-off."

 

We women, for the most part, are more concerned with personality....

 

I am having trouble believing this, jw43677. How many overweight men have you ever gone out with?

[single30]

Stop feeling so freaking sorry for yourself. You are the most negative person I have ever heard. I know plenty of people that did not make it to 18! Jeez. Hey, many of us have had our desperate moments where we thoughts crazy things... like ending our lives. But YOU, you need, to get your head together and start trying to make some changes.

If you are overweight... start exercising... eating healthier... maybe get a new hair cut and a few new outfits. Can't afford it? Get a part time job. You are young... and have so much life ahead of you. You are not going to get a girl by being pathetic. That is my advice to you. Perhaps harsh, but true. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it!

[nturner199]

Hey, I know exactly how you feel. Reread your post as if it was coming from me, becuase I feel the very very very same way. I am 20 years old and never have had a girlfriend, and I believe I am very attractive, but it's not what I believe, it is what others believe right? now, I do agree with you this world is cold... selfish... and unfair - but DO NOT commit suicide for any reason.... do you hear me??? When it is your time to go you will go, do not take it upon yourself to be your own God. I have thought about suicide myself a few times, because I also can not handle the pain anymore of not being able to love, cherish, and care for the girl that I need. But those are thoughts, and that's where they stay... You will get threw this, all you need is faith, I know you don't see it now, neither do I for myself, but it will all turn around with time, how much time, nobody knows, but it will! What you can do in the mean time is talk to every girl that interests you, I Don't Care were you are, what your doing, if you see someone who interest you, you must talk to them, ok... you can start by just walking around and saying Hi to them, if you can't mustard up the courage to go farther, that's the stage I'm at right now. Ask these girls out, ok.... ask them for there phone numbers, the general rule of thumb with girls is that you will receive 10 nos for every yes, it suck but that is the way it is. When you feel ready go out and ask atleast 10 girls out, get use to Nos, it's not just you, it's me, and every guy on this planet, we all will get nos, no matter what... it's life... but I guarantee you will get a yes, you just got to keep plugin, don't think of it as rejection but as one step closer to your YES! What do you have to loose, give it a shot. And I want to make sure you really understand you are NOT THE ONLY person who feels the way you do, I feel the same way and I know the are others also... infact we feel so much the same that I couldn't tell if this was a post I did and forgot about or was to drunk to remember... Good luck bud, if you need anything email me email removed

[Bobby]

lol!!! im sorry lol!!

but really you should not be so negative about yourself...