Overly Romantic?

[zingzoom81]

Hey Guys, my question is pretty straightforward and to the point.

 

I am recently divorced and have gotten back into dating and meeting people. I have been on a few dates but I have recently met a woman who I am really starting to fall for. We have gone on a couple dates now and we are always laughing and talking and sneaking in kisses here and there. I am very romantic by nature and doing things like sending flowers, random cute surprises, etc.

 

Sounds like everything is going great but due to my divorce it makes me feel the need to be reassured (I am trying to work on this). She has said over text that she hasn't had this before and she likes it. She doesn't like texting too much so part of the issue might be that I feel like she is leaving me hanging.....

 

I guess my concern comes up that I don't want to come off too strong since the relationship is new but I still want her to smile and feel like she is very important to me.

 

We have a date planned for tomorrow and I have a romantic surprise planned for that..... Picture from our 2nd date of us in a small frame (we went to the Aquarium with her son and had a blast).

 

Do I just need to stop over analyzing everything?

[Chinafish]

Yes, stop over analysing. However, I think you might be going a bit over the top. Let the romance build. Dont fly in all flowers and pressies because it looks like your trying too hard. Don't get me wrong, it's really lovely, but wait for a few more dates, until you're a bit more sure.

 

The photo is a lovely idea

[seanryder]

I would have to agree with toning it down quite a few knotches, otherwise you will be back here shortly with a broken heart.

 

Romance can be similar to an addiction, in that if you get used to a certain level then you are going to need more and more to get your buzz. Save the flowers for special occasions, like birthdays and the occasional surprise, but don't let it get to where they are always expected and if not received then your 'love' for her is called into question. The old saying "what's seldom is wonderful" certainly applies.

 

Sorry if I sound negative, I am far from it, I would just like you to pace yourself. What is the rush?

[Barrera]

I agree, dont over do it like I did... or you will be here with a broken heart wondering what went wrong...

[zingzoom81]

Thanks for the feedback guys/gals! I will tone it back a little..... She has been very receptive of everything and loves it but the last thing I want to do is trying to keep up the pace with this and having it fizzle out.

 

Seanryder- I don't think there is a rush- I think that she is a fantastic woman and that's making me try too hard. You don't sound negative at all!

 

Chinafish- Thank you for letting me know the photo will go over well! It's my intention just to give her something that will make her smile when she sees it because we had a "amazing" time (her words not mine)

 

Barrera- I will try to not overdo it! It's tough but the last thing I want to do is smother someone or make them feel uncomfortable because they are moving at a different pace than me!

[Barrera]

Good thinking! It is hard. I know all you want to do is make her smile and win her over even more but its a fine line that before you know it you have passed and have suffocated her... You'll do great as long as you keep reminding yourself of that.

[Ms Darcy]

How recent was your divorce? I am concerned that you are pouring feelings into someone you have only been on a few dates with. I do not think my bf and I ever asked for reassurance from each other until we were four or five months in. Take it slow.

[FYI]

How long have you been talking to her?

[EQIQ]

Relax bro take it easy. Has she been giving you any gifts, or making cute little surprises for you? Take it easy man. I advise against the photo idea. Hold if off for like 6 months. Then you can show her the picture, and say... "Hey remember when we just started going out She will appreciate that much much more. This is just too much, too soon. Go out and have fun.

[zingzoom81]

Thank for the continued advice guys- it is much apprieciated!

To answer some questions above:

 

Divorced for about a year now. I have been dating but havent felt a good match until now.

I have know this woman for about 3 months- we have been going out on dates for about 2 weeks.

No she hasnt made any gifts or things for me..... not expecting anything in return though.

 

She did say she hasnt been treated this way in a long time and that i am amazing..... positive sign for me; I just dont want to smother or go too over the top.

 

Again, thank you for the comments and feedback! It sounds like I just need to pull back a little and not get too emotionally invested until she reciprocates.

[zingzoom81]

Red flag today- we were planning on a date tonight and she thought she was off a couple days ago but has work apparantely now. My experiences in the past set off the BS detector- told her i was disappointed when she asked if I was mad.

 

Probably good I came here and got all the advice! I will for sure now not emotionally invest in this for right now and take it slower!

[HeartGoesOn]

She may or may not be telling the truth, either way you'll find out soon enough. At this early stage, I wouldn't jump to conclusions, but I would slow it down as others have said.

 

Not to go off topic, but I'm not sure why she introduced her son to you this soon. I assume he's a small child?

[zingzoom81]

Heart: Her son is 1.5 yrs old- not sure why she introduced him so early but I do not mind at all- at least at this point as we are getting to know each other as it is doesnt put me off.

 

She did end up having work and she did feel very bad. She thought i was mad but I told her that I understood responsibility and that she made the right choice by going to work.

 

But then again maybe I am too nice...always comes back to bite me in the end