sexygrl19 Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 Can someone please help me with this question? About 6 months ago,my boyfriend came home and he was very,very drunk.He started talking about this girl that he used to like in high school.Which was over ten years ago. Anyway,he started saying all kinds of stuff like how he would give his life to be with her and just how much he wanted to be with her.It really hurt me b/c we've been going out over a year now.The next day he apologized like crazy and was telling me how much he loved me and no one else.I know it's been a long time but I can't seem to get over it. Was he just saying all of that to piss me off?What should I believe? Link to comment
ayekasong Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 Well, in my case, there have been a few times that I've let things slip that I normally never would have said. There have been other times I've been a blathering idiot and told things that were completely untrue. My guess is that your boyfriend had some old feelings resurface and while he was drunk he remembered how much he liked her in high school. That was 10 years ago though, and I would guess that she is no longer in his life, so there really is no chance for him to be with her. Besides, she is probably a completely different person now. I can see why you are hurt, but I don't think that he intended to hurt you. He apologized and insisted that it was you he wanted to be with too. I still harbor some feelings for high school crushes (5 years ago for me), but those feelings are linked more to a time in my life. I doubt my crushes are the same people they were 5 years ago, so for me it is more of a memory than anything I would ever act on. My guess is that it is the same way for your boyfriend. Link to comment
sexygrl19 Posted October 16, 2004 Author Share Posted October 16, 2004 But he is best friends with her brother,so he still sees her from time to time.I just really hope that he doesn't still like her.I guess I should just believe that he loves me and no one else. Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 You need to know that he has feelings for other people in the world. If he can't honestly voice his feelings in the relationship, then they will remain hidden, who wants to have a relationship with hidden feelings?? Link to comment
antzca2000 Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 I think this is abig thing with guys. We ALWAYS remember our crushes, I still remember my first crush from like grade 3 all the way to now. I remember their looks and names, and yes I do think about them every now and then. With guys I think we just think of our past crushes a lot more then other people. Dont be too sad over it, its our brain going weird. And when people are drunk, their whack, dont take every one of their words fro granted. Link to comment
ayekasong Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 But he is best friends with her brother,so he still sees her from time to time.I just really hope that he doesn't still like her.I guess I should just believe that he loves me and no one else. Ok, so she is still semi-in his life, I can see why you'd be upset. He might really have feelings for her still, he might have just been doing some drunken reminiscing. Honestly, I still think it's the latter. Regardless, perhaps you should ask him about it. That way you can both get your feelings in the open. I will be honest with you, I have had feelings for other men while in my relationship, but in the long run, I know I have the better deal with my boyfriend. A person's attraction to other people doesn't turn off the instant they are in a relationship... if it did there wouldn't be a need for the infidelity forum here. He might still like her, but the important thing is that he's not cheating (at least from your post you didn't sound suspicious of such) and he's going home with you. Link to comment
Scout Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 I don't know what's right or wrong here, but if my boyfriend said something like that, I would be devastated. And if I knew he still saw her sometimes, I would never be able to trust him around her. This isn't something I think I could recover from, and would probably end the relationship over. I seem to be the exception, though, so maybe I just am not as trusting as other people are. And maybe I should be more trusting. I don't know. Anyway, this all happened six months ago and you're still with him, so it appears you are the one and only person he loves. Does he know this is still causing you anxiety? Link to comment
sexygrl19 Posted October 16, 2004 Author Share Posted October 16, 2004 We've talked about it plenty of times(believe me).And he's reassured me that I have nothing to worry about and that he doesn't like her anymore.But then why did he say that?Obviously he may still have some kind of feelings for her still.And that hurts me.I just don't know. Link to comment
fantasia2004 Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 yes they do and sometimes too much . Who needs truth serum when alcohol does it to you? Link to comment
sexygrl19 Posted October 17, 2004 Author Share Posted October 17, 2004 So do you guys think that he still likes her?Because if he does,then I don't want to be with him anymore.He says that he doesn't like her anymore and that he loves me.Should I just believe him and try my best to forget about it?That just really broke my heart when he said that to me.Sometimes I just don't know what to do.I love him and I want to be with him,but not if he's still hung up on another woman. Link to comment
jackson5045 Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 hello sexygrl invino veritas - thats latin latin is a long dead language - so this is a very old saying invino veritas means - with wine comes truth ! When we drink the walls we extend to cover our true selves dissolve in a haze of foggy headed euphoria and or depression. And people become who they really are. It might not be that bad though, all men carry a torch for some girl we knew when we were young. Only natural. Doesnt mean that he doesnt love you just means that there are roads untravelled and I am sure you feel that way about someone at some point. If you stay together long enough his thoughts of this girl will eventually go away. Good luck and update us Jack Link to comment
chanceit Posted October 19, 2004 Share Posted October 19, 2004 I don't think you're more necessaryly more trueful when drunk. You are less inhibited though so you might say things you would normally be afraid to say...truth or lies - drink is definatly not a truth serum. I can talk complete rubbish when i'm drunk... And i can still lie my head off... To be honest he sounds like he was just being sentimental. Link to comment
sexygrl19 Posted October 20, 2004 Author Share Posted October 20, 2004 So should I just try my best to forget about it?It would be extremely hard,but I would try.I talked to him about it again just yesterday,and he said that he is in love with me and no one else.What do you guys think? Link to comment
shorty4ever15 Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 It's really hard to say for sure. I can say from my own experiences that there probably is some truth to what he said. But, like other people have mentioned, it was probably just some old memory that he thought about. You have to remember, there was a time before you two were seeing each other, and I'm sure he has had feeling for someone else. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you now or that he will leave you for her. All it means is that at one time he had feelings for her. You also have to remember, although there may be some truth to what he said, no matter how much they are blabbering on, they are still drunk and don't think rationally or reasonably. Link to comment
sexygrl19 Posted October 24, 2004 Author Share Posted October 24, 2004 I just want to thank everybody for your advice!I really needed others opinons on this topic.Even though all of the advice did make me feel a little better,it still hurts me so much.I mean,how can you say something like that to someone you love?I just don't understand it at all.Sometimes I feel like I should just break up with him because I'm so hurt.But then again,I do love him.And I want to have a long future with him.I really don't think I'll ever be able to forget this or forgive him.I want to so bad,but I really don't think I can.I don't want him to have feelings for her or anyone else for that matter.He says he doesn't,but what if he's just saying that?I do think that he loves me,but I also think that he may still have feelings for her.And I'm not going to accept that at all.I mean,he's with me,he should only love me.That's the way I feel.I'm just so confused right now. Link to comment
ScorpGrl72 Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 I also think that he may still have feelings for her.And I'm not going to accept that at all.I mean,he's with me,he should only love me.That's the way I feel.I'm just so confused right now. I have been where you are, and trust me when I say this. If he is with you 6 mos after that night..........he is with you and wants to be with you. If you keep letting it bother you and keep obsessing over it, you are going to make yourself miserable, and possibly aggravate the situation and it may upset him that you doubt his feelings for YOU. Be careful and try to let it subside with time. Link to comment
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