What A Flake..

[Finch]

I don't know if I'm posting in the correct section, but I guess this will do. The thing is that this girl that I'm "with" isn't my girlfriend and we aren't dating.

 

We're ex's and we have remained close throughout the entire breakup process and after that. Her and I are pretty close considering that we are still very intimate (we still have sex), we talk on the phone all the time, still say I love you, etc. We act very similar to most couples with the exception that we tend to keep our close ties on the down low.

 

The thing that is troubling me lately is that she is just a huge flake. We were supposed to hang out the other day on tuesday and the plan was that we were to meet up around 3pm and hang out for awhile and then go home. Well I didn't end up hearing from her till around 8:30pm and she tells me that her phone died and she couldn't call me. She finally ended up admitting to me that she blew me off to go shop with her friend. I was so angry. How inconsiderate.

 

This wasn't the first time that she blew me off either.. which really upset me. I then had a very long discussion with her about how she needs to quit treating me poorly and if she doesn't then I'm going to walk. She then progressed to tell me that she loves me so much, began to cry and confessed that she needly me badly. The real kicker is that she has a boyfriend, who I know she doesn't care too much for given that she's still obsessed with me. She was confessing to me that she didn't like her boyfriend at all and wanted to get back together with me. I quickly dismissed the idea which has come up before in previous discussions. After all, I have no interests in getting back together with somebody who can't even commit to hanging out and there are tons of more reasons which I won't get into.

 

So yesterday we're supposed to hang out and she ends up blowing me off after the huge discussion the previous night about how I wouldn't talk to her anymore if she blew me off ever again. Get this.. she blows me off to go get a nasty tattoo of some palm tree on her waist line. She confessed that she blew me off today to get a tattoo while we were having sex! lol..

 

I just don't get her. She's acting very strange lately. Before she was totally obsessive and clingy, now she's being distant but clingy at the same time. I don't think she's trying to get rid of me or anything like that, because she knows that we aren't a couple or anything.

 

I don't know what to do. At this point I'm encouraged to end the sex, keep friendship status with her on a limited basis, and move on. I can't invest my feelings in such a flake.

 

What's going on in her head?

[JaSoN]

That's very odd, dont ya think, my opinion is try giveing her a little space.She seems to enjoy your company.You'll never understand what goes on in a girls head, believe me on that

 

Good luck

[Mun]

Hi Finch,

Maybe what's going on in her head is the same thing that is going on in yours.

 

She may be thinking that you are ok to have sex with but you aren't her boyfriend so she is not going to invest any feelings into this "non-relationship" with you. That could be the reason why she finds it so easy to just blow you off and go have fun with her friends--she probably figures you are there for the sex anyway so even if she is inconsiderate you won't go anywhere.

 

She used to be obsessed with you, things are changing...Maybe her behavior is hurting your ego more than you realize.

[Finch]

Hi muneca,

 

That's a good point about maybe how she doesn't want to invest more feelings into something that isn't a relationship. However, her and I have always had a minimal relationship status. I'd devote time to her if she'd devote time to me, etc.

 

Unwritten agreements. We still admit that we care for each other greatly and that we're more than friends. So that is why I find this situation troubling