Wife starting to trash attractive celebrities.

[Unreasonable]

She's feeling insecure right now, and I think when you feel celebrities are a threat to your relationship, you're pretty much at a pinnacle.

 

She has admitted she views them a threat and knows it's irrational. And nothing i have said or done has made that any better.

 

What's ironic is, her petty jealousy is even more of a threat, because I find that trait, very, very unnatractive in a woman. I haven't told her that, but I do.

 

What would you advise?

[Natasha24]

I'm guessing you must talk about attractive celebrities, have posters/magazines, etc., of them? (I can't imagine how else this jealousy would even arise). It's her problem to deal with, not yours - but I suggest stop talking about them. Don't say things like "So and so is pretty hot eh?" and if she asks you if you find someone attractive, just say "I guess, but I don't even know her, so who cares?"

[Destiny78]

Her insecurities didn't come from the air. If you haven't done anything (like cheating or talking about other women) then you just need to reassure her that she is the one for you. She has low self-confidence and likely bad body image, and you can help her build it back up instead of making her feel bad. There is a post on link removed and why it is very hard to women maintain positive body image.

[Day_Walker]

Unless she is going to come into contact with these celebrities I dont see this as an issue. If she becomes insecure about women you work with or women that are your friends that would be an issue. However, I dont see how this has risen to the level of being an issue at this point.

[annie24]

Can you give us some specific examples?

[pl3asehelp]

She's feeling insecure right now, and I think when you feel celebrities are a threat to your relationship, you're pretty much at a pinnacle.

 

She has admitted she views them a threat and knows it's irrational. And nothing i have said or done has made that any better.

 

What's ironic is, her petty jealousy is even more of a threat, because I find that trait, very, very unnatractive in a woman. I haven't told her that, but I do.

 

What would you advise?

 

I would doubt it's jealousy and instead a sad frustration at you or anyone else putting people on a pedestal based on how they look. I get immediately annoyed when I hear anything about any celebrity because I just don't care and feel like it's a sign someone has low self esteem that they find anything worth talking about or admiring regarding celebrities.

[Unreasonable]

Some examples?

 

Okay. She got pissed when I tried to watch a Megan Fox movie. Not because Megan Fox is a terrible actress, but because for some reason she now hates Megan Fox. I have never expressed ANY interest in Megan Fox.

She doesn't want me to listen to Katy Perry songs anymore. She's on her "**** list" for some reason. I guess she thinks I like her too much. I have one of her CD's in my 6 CD changer.

[annie24]

That's pretty weird. Are you only allowed to listen to male singers?

[Unreasonable]

No, I think she just has a problem with good looking light-eyed brunettes. (my wife is a good looking light eyed brunette btw). I think she considers them competition in some kind of insane way.

[sealharp]

Put on your runners and let your feet do the talking.

I just ended a 5 year relationship and that was one of her symptons. Trash talking any woman. ANY.

I realised it was not my job the reassure her. She was/is beautiful, but even I got sick of telling here every hour on the hour.

 

Run my man.....it gets worse.

[boxpin]

You should probably start with having a serious chat about the issue with your wife, the sooner the better. If you haven't done anything that your aware of to fan the flames then it would be good to try and find out where this is coming from. You said that you don't like the behavior...it's going to continue damaging your relationship until something is done about it. If you don't talk to her about this then it's only going to make things worse when you eventually address it with her because of your pent up emotions. If she doesn't feel like talking about it don't push her, but make sure that you let her know in a civil manner how it's making you feel.

[sealharp]

My ex always was jealous of Celebs, and I never had any posters or anything of them. For no reason someone would come on TV and she would go hammer and tong at slagging them. I had to always tell her to settle down. I usually just flicked the TV over to the Cartoon Station.

[HeatherB]

The solution is simple. I said it in your other thread. Tell her she's hotter. You picked her, so of course you prefer her to some imaginary celebrity image. Make it clear she wins the imaginary competition every time. If you respond with irritation, it only makes things worse because it confirms that you aren't happy with her.

[Ekoh]

The solution is simple. I said it in your other thread. Tell her she's hotter. You picked her, so of course you prefer her to some imaginary celebrity image. Make it clear she wins the imaginary competition every time. If you respond with irritation, it only makes things worse because it confirms that you aren't happy with her.

 

Telling her she's hotter isn't going to work. If she's anything like me then she'll just think he's saying that to appease her. It doesn't really matter what he does because the problem actually deals with her ego. If he's done absolutely nothing to provoke this type of behavior in her then I'm betting her ego did not form properly by the time she was 3-4. I would like to know more about her upbringing and if she felt secure in her beginning years.

[AniBaum Vyper]

One thing about the Megan Fox movie: maybe she thinks that males are only watching it because of Megan Fox. Males have their perverted mind moments so maybe that's is why she's upset. I doubt maybe people watched Transformers (something a guy would watch right?) but I bet they really wanted to watch it because of Megan. Did they see the one without her? Probably not. Because they let her absents ruin the movie.

 

About her feeling jealous over the other celebrities:

Maybe she doesn't like Katy Perry because they guys thought it was "hot" that she kissed a girl and liked it, so she assume that's the only reason why you listen to her.

 

Maybe because how everyone else obsess with celebrities, there is something about the attention you give them that you make seem like it's better than the attention you give her so she feel that she isn't good enough. Maybe it IS your actions and the things you say that makes her think that. Maybe you should watch how you look at someone. People don't think that someone can look at them and tell how they feel when they talk about someone or look at someone but maybe she sees it in you and you don't realize it.

[Disclosure]

Dear Gawd,

 

I just want to get my head around this one sentence. LOL! That is too funny. Well, I watch Hawaii-Five-O because I fancy the pants off Alex O'Loughlin, (apart from that its a load of rubbish) so obviously us ladies have our "peverted mind moments" too.

 

Do you know what perverted means; Characterized by sexually abnormal and unacceptable practices or tendencies.

 

Who knew Alex was leading me off the path of righteousness in such a demonic way. He should be locked up!

 

And no I don't think the OP's girlfriend is reacting in a rational way. This issue was brewing long before he came onto the scene. This is about self-esteem and self-worth.

 

My ex-boyfriend once watched a Beyonce video with his eyes popping out. I just smirked. I knew that he loved and fancied me desperately, so I wasn't worried. I don't think he realised he was doing it. Had he commented and said "Phwoor, look at the chest on that," yes I would have been put out and felt disrespected. That would have been going too far. As it was, he didn't comment and I realised that he merely responding to stimuli.

 

Two minutes later, Beyonce was forgotten and he was contendly reading the sports section.

 

Disc

[LadyBrandon]

Put on your runners and let your feet do the talking.

I just ended a 5 year relationship and that was one of her symptons. Trash talking any woman. ANY.

I realised it was not my job the reassure her. She was/is beautiful, but even I got sick of telling here every hour on the hour.

 

Run my man.....it gets worse.

 

It might be too late for running. I think the OP said it was his WIFE that has the problem.

 

My advise is...turn the tv off or watch tv/movies when the wife is not around.

[Zuri]

I don't have any advice but I have a similar story to share. The husband of a very good friend is jealous of black men. She told me that he becomes extremely agitated by her even liking songs by black male artists, too.

Once she made the mistake of commenting on a black man on tv and her husband flipped out. She and her husband are both Mexican Americans.