dmarie86 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 so my emotions overcame my logic and i snapped and emailed him the most stupid thing, i knew what sort of response i would get but i did it anyways. i think i feel worst about is that he would have thought i was doing ok but now he knows im still struggling while he has quite happily moved on. So stupid, i know all i can do from now is pick myself up and start over again, but im going to post the email convo so i can be held accountable for it Me All these things you're talking about doing now were things i wanted to do when we were together but you wern't interested in doing? Him don't start this **** D. I don't want to talk about this stuff. What i do now is what ever i want. Things change now im not with you im thinking of options i havn't committed too anything..but i don't want to have these sorts of emails..it don't matter what we were gna do because its different now you got to move on man you're right, im so sorry Its allgood you just got to chill out a bit ok..maybe skype wasnt a good idea i know you didn't want to but skype was actually a good thing for me, helped me to realise a lot of things i didnt mind about skype i just didnt want **** to get weird...but u sent that email i know, it was very wrong of me. losing you was the hardest thing ive ever had to go through, i've just never done all this before and im still learning. but i definitely don't want you to be wierded out by me i know its tough and ****..im trying to say in a nice way to check yourself.its just going to **** me off if you refer back to us..i want to move forward and if its **** i said i wouldn't do a year ago to bad.. im not going to feel guilty k i know, thats a completely fair call, 'check myself' haha. im kinda surprised you're still talking to me if im honest. i won't be referring to us, and i know you won't feel guilty, im your past, not your future dont be surprised..i really dont wana get mad like i did again k thats all..but id say ill just stop talking to you before i get that bad again haha see ya D see ya M so there you go, can't believe myself, i just miss him so bad. he did the most hurtfull thing after our breakup by sleeping with somebody else and he was so gutted about it. But instead of maintaining the upper hand i've been pathetic and needy and am now that crazy ex g.f! Argh feel free to rip into me Link to comment
lostgirl123 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 sounds to me like he really moved on! Link to comment
angrythoughts Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Wow, ruthless! He was so rude! It definitely was a mistake e-mailing him. ACTUALLY, it was a mistake being with him! If you dated someone that would speak to you like then when you're down, then you've really lost nothing at all. You can do better; as in find someone who'd treat you well during and after the relationship. He was so rude, omg.. Lol. Link to comment
SoulSilver Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 He sounds like a jerk to me , and you are being way too submissive to anything he says , you shouldn't have allowed him to treat you this way , and stand for what you feel and walk away . but yes you need to focus on moving on , and if he ever tries contacting you - you shouldn't be so "nice" to him . not until he says he's sorry ... Link to comment
dmarie86 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 ha thanks, i feel abit better for your words but now im gutted i was so submissive to him! i guess i was scared to push him away completely, but now i know it doesn't even matter, i should of stood up for myself Link to comment
Dinocaz Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Rude and way up his own a@sss - I go with the word Jerk 100%! Dont beat up on yourself for contacting him, use it to see what a gimp he reallly is. Goes without saying though there is zero point in making any further contact with him again ever! Link to comment
dmarie86 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Rude and way up his own a@sss - I go with the word Jerk 100%! Dont beat up on yourself for contacting him, use it to see what a gimp he reallly is. Goes without saying though there is zero point in making any further contact with him again ever! thanks i have to say after the opinions you guys gave i got really angry and sent him what will be the last ever e-mail, i know its petty but i know he wouldn't have contacted me again after this anyway and i wanted to stand up for myself for a change. basically just said he's an ass and treated me like s*** and f you for degrading our 3year relationship like that. i know he won't give 2 toss's what i think or say now but its not like there was any chance we were going to get back together anyways and now i've said my piece i just have to concentrate on staying angry and not missing him or being jealous of the other girl! Link to comment
jaciej Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 thanks i have to say after the opinions you guys gave i got really angry and sent him what will be the last ever e-mail, i know its petty but i know he wouldn't have contacted me again after this anyway and i wanted to stand up for myself for a change. basically just said he's an ass and treated me like s*** and f you for degrading our 3year relationship like that. i know he won't give 2 toss's what i think or say now but its not like there was any chance we were going to get back together anyways and now i've said my piece i just have to concentrate on staying angry and not missing him or being jealous of the other girl! You shouldnt have done that...he was rude to you, but at the same time he was right...you were guilt tripping him. You did not learn from your initial mistake and you have done the same thing you said you regretted again. No contact means exactly that "no contact" Link to comment
dmarie86 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 You shouldnt have done that...he was rude to you, but at the same time he was right...you were guilt tripping him. You did not learn from your initial mistake and you have done the same thing you said you regretted again. No contact means exactly that "no contact" You are so right, it was very childish of me but I really dont care anymore, I finally said something I should of said along time ago, whats done is done. Thank you for your thoughts tho Link to comment
lostgirl123 Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 now you just validated his thoughts of thinking of you as the "psycho ex" by sending that email! you mentioned that you know that he wont be affected by what you said to him, but have you thought that it's because he doesn't have any respect for you? that's why in that interaction that you had with him he was in control of the conversation and you were being submissive (not respecting yourself and your values). he only saw you as "that person" the whole time because you made yourself to be perceived as that. but like you said, what's done is done. you sound very angry and bitter, and that's normal. but i don't believe anger would help with self-growth or self-reflection, it just helps you heal unhealthily. Link to comment
humanity Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I don't really see how he was being rude. Maybe his initial response was a lil abrasive, but that email caught him off guard. With the responses thereafter, he calmed down and talked to you a lil bit. But now u have your "closure." He is looking toward his future and not in the past. Link to comment
dmarie86 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 yea pretty much im such a mess. of course i regret it now Link to comment
Kit3runn3r Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 yea pretty much im such a mess. of course i regret it now Stop torturing yourself, you are valuable and unique for still trying to b nice after all he's done to you. Contacting him was a big mistake because you may b removing any guilt he may feel later on and he deserves to feel it at some point for no treating you right. The long path of healing starts now. Big hugs and please feel better Link to comment
SoulSilver Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 ha thanks, i feel abit better for your words but now im gutted i was so submissive to him! i guess i was scared to push him away completely, but now i know it doesn't even matter, i should of stood up for myself Exactly! remember that people only treat you the way you allow them to . so from now on you gotta stand for yourself , you deserve much better Link to comment
BlinkOfAnEye Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 First of all, let me just say i admire and respect you for posting this. This take so much courage to open up like this to strangers..I know I couldnt have done this. Secondly, wow, this guy does NOT sounds nice and calling you "man"...what is that? Believe me, i know its hard to do no contact but it really is best for you. I posted a thread last night where i still have hope that my ex will come back but at the same time i'm following the NO CONTACT rule even though i check my phone in the middle of the night to see if he called or texted....pathetic i know. Overall, i feel like i'm getting a little better every week...not much but some improvement. I just hope that you can really cut this guy out of your life b/c you really do deserve better especially after reading his comments. Another thing, he knows very well that he is in control of this situation and you need to take that back from him and by that, you need to stop talking to him. I can guarantee that if you ignore or stop talking to him, he will reach out to you in couple of weeks. And by then, you might have slightly moved on so its a win win situation. Please try it. Link to comment
lorelaijones Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Yes he is a jerk. He keeps giving you news about his life, and talks about being friends with you as he was doing you a favor? What a jerk!!!! And please, I don't mean to be rude to you, but you seem to agree with him, that he is doing you a favor to keep on with this skype thing. This is not good for you, you said it is but it isn't. Please, PLEASE, block him, go NC, don't let him do this to you. This guy seems to be so full of himself, argh Link to comment
dmarie86 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 so now im officially that crazy ex girlfriend. i guess the good thing is it can't get any worse so it only going to get better from here. im so embarrassed i let my emotions take over yet again despite of what EVERYBODY else has said from previous experience. but i guess i had to learn it on my own. i know how he is, so stubborn once he makes his mind up so there is no way he will ever reach out to me again, he'll be glad to be rid of me and i can't say i blame him. yes he did some ****ty things but he moved on, where as i could not and made a fool of myself. hopefully this is leason learned Link to comment
lorelaijones Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Stop blaming yourself girl! HE lost you. YOU are the one who is not coming back. Be glad that this guy is out of your life. It's from posts like these that I understand god's will. Because if I were Him seeing this situation, I would never let him come back to you because you'd take him and your life would be miserable. I would put a guy that talks to you like this out of your life and wait for you to understand and thank me later, lol Link to comment
dmarie86 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Stop blaming yourself girl! HE lost you. YOU are the one who is not coming back. Be glad that this guy is out of your life. It's from posts like these that I understand god's will. Because if I were Him seeing this situation, I would never let him come back to you because you'd take him and your life would be miserable. I would put a guy that talks to you like this out of your life and wait for you to understand and thank me later, lol thankyou, i'll try to keep your words in mind Link to comment
dmarie86 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Share Posted August 10, 2012 Stop torturing yourself, you are valuable and unique for still trying to b nice after all he's done to you. Contacting him was a big mistake because you may b removing any guilt he may feel later on and he deserves to feel it at some point for no treating you right. The long path of healing starts now. Big hugs and please feel better thank you, the healing sure does start now, it has no choice! Link to comment
FreeFallFeelin Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Having someone reject you after a long relationship (and going into a new Rship right away, especially) is so bewildering, it really does make you go "crazy". So don't beat yourself up over the contact you made. At first, all you can think about is how much that person means to you, and how great they are. But slowly, very slowly, the rose tinted lenses come off and you start to see their faults that you ignored for so long, and you also start to realize that if they were brutal or rude when they left you, that that is a real reflection of who they truly are. The trick is to believe what you see, not what you think. It does take a lot of time. Link to comment
dmarie86 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Share Posted August 11, 2012 although i dearly appreciate all your comments as they helped pick me up alot, i don't really see how he is being the jerk? yes i was very submissive and should have stood up for myself abit more but he was only replying to contact i initiated, he has moved on so has no emotional involvment in talking to me like i do to him. so surely him actually replying to me is just him being 'normal'? Wouldn't he be more of a jerk if he completely ignored me? which i honestly believe would be well within his rights to do as we have been broken up for a while now and yet i've still been in touch with him (maybe only once a week until just this last couple of days) He has always replied - maybe not a good move on his part as it gave me some hope - but i don't know thats its fair to call him out on being blunt or whatever with his ex girlfriend Link to comment
secondchance67 Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Emails and conversations like this one are exactly why I have stayed in complete and total NC for the last 8 months ...I dont think I could bear her cold, rude indifference, as if the 6 years we spent together was so very long ago, and that my contact has annoyed her and she is making it known in her responses. I am sorry you were treated that way......but let it serve as a cold hard reminder of where the two of you are post B/U- he is clearly moving on.....and you are clearly still stuck. I think this was good for you to deal with and experience in the long run....it will give you some closure and a real sense of where his head is......let it be the push you need to start really healing and moving past this heartache. Now is your time...seize it and turn your life into something fantastic. Link to comment
SoulSilver Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 When someone tells yu things like "don't start this s**t" and to "check yourself" and in a very insensible way tells you he doesn't care and he is "checking options" and he has no remorse , that is not ok , at all . and you shouldn't defend him . the more you try talking to him he will treat you worse . you don't have to listen to us , but rally the best thing to do is cease all contact with him . unless he one day shows up and apologizes for his crappy additude . Link to comment
dmarie86 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Share Posted August 11, 2012 When someone tells yu things like "don't start this s**t" and to "check yourself" and in a very insensible way tells you he doesn't care and he is "checking options" and he has no remorse , that is not ok , at all . and you shouldn't defend him . the more you try talking to him he will treat you worse . you don't have to listen to us , but rally the best thing to do is cease all contact with him . unless he one day shows up and apologizes for his crappy additude . Don't worry i'm not going to be in touch with him at all from now on Link to comment
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