Just admitting how stupid i was for breaking NC

[SoulSilver]

Don't worry i'm not going to be in touch with him at all from now on

 

Way to go I know it hurts being talked to this way from someone who used to be so close to you . but it helps looking at it as these are 2 different people . with the one in the present , not being the one you used to love ...

[Justme3]

Dmarie: I would of done the same thing. At least now you have clarity and closure.

[Lambert]

Hi Dmarie,

 

Bu's are so hard and we all do and say stuff... I think the best thing to do at this point is: just try to let it go. Don't beat yourself up. We all do and say things when we are hurting.

 

Don't contact him again. Your emotions are all over the place, which is to be expected when you are hurt and upset. Communication at this point, is not working. He is being too indifferent, you are still hurting. So there's no point in talking, you just can't relate to each other right now.

 

Post here when you need to vent. We are all here to help and support you. Remember NC is your friend!! The longer you go, the more clarity you get and eventually, you move on.

 

(((((Hugs)))))

[dmarie86]

ok heres some venting.... haha.

 

i feel like i've finally reached a point of despair where i know i won't be contacting him again, i've sent too many crazy e-mails that im now so embarrassed about that theres nothing more i can do, nothing except no contact will make things better.

The last e-mail he sent me, said no contact was the best thing so i can move on and that he'll contact me in the future when things have calmed down.

 

I'm sure things will change once i've started to finally move on from him but it bugs me that i still really want him to think of me as a good person. yes i acted crazy but he really had no respect for me after our breakup so i should be angry at him too but im not. not yet anyways

 

i'm confident that in another 6months to a year i will be in a place of indifference about him, that it won't bother me that he has a new girlfriend etc, but in the back of my mind right now i know im still hoping that in that time we would have both grown and be in a place of wanting to try the relationship again - i know this is crazy thinking, theres no way we'll get back together in the future, things have already changed so much just in the last 2months.

 

Also im banking heavily on the fact that by the time im in a place of being happy on my own, i won't even want to be in a relationship with him, that all these thoughts of being sad at missing out on being with him will be obsolete.

 

keep thinking about how i was so unhappy within myself during the relationship too, but didn't do anything about it and it spilled over into our relationship and i was so negative, i wish i had woken up to the fact earlier and changed my mindset, but i can't change the past, i don't get a second shot, but i do get a mighty big lesson out of it! ah gosh, hindsight is a wonderfull thing

[Lambert]

I hate when I am venting and my friend will tell me, o youre normal. It's like no, my situation is different, I am different...

 

Reading your posts, I can definitely relate to the obsessive thoughts, worrying that somehow this ex of yours now hates you or worse just pities you for all your high jinx.

 

But really, right now, you are totally in the thick of all your thoughts and emotions. It is like the most important thing in the world. You can't see past it. And that is a problem. Not only is it a problem, it's one you are caused for yourself.

 

You need to do something to break these thought patterns and force him and the break up to not be the most important thing. Take a break from yourself. Here are some suggestions on how to do this:

 

1. surround yourself with other people and get involved in them. Don't talk about the ex and your feelings about him or it. Talk to them about them. The average person if allowed, will go on and on about themselves and not give it much thought. Let them....

 

2. start exercising-- even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood.

 

3. Do something nice for yourself. Go shopping, get your nails done or get a massage. The human contact of a massage will make you feel really good.

 

Start today living for YOU! It doesn't mean you can't get bummed and cry when you feel like it. Your life isn't about him.... It's about you, babe.