Problems letting go

[Aarya]

I've always had problems letting go of people. I experience severe pain and anxiety a the thought of never talking to the person again, forgetting the memories. I go over the special moments in my mind again and again. It takes me many years to recover from just flirting with someone and it not working out. I can't let go, I almost don't want to.

 

What is wrong with me? How can I get better?

[OkayThen]

Go see a psych if you can afford so. A lot of the time in your circumstance there are obvious underlying issues which may relate to your past or simply your personality to cling.

[Moggs]

Im very similar Aarya, I just can't let go and when I have to I feel very sad and mourn the loss for a long time. When people come into my life I like to think they will always have a connection with me. Why cant we let go? I think its just the way we are but a psychologist may think we have some attachment disorder, or maybe we feel like we failed in some way. This poem helps me come to terms with the loss i feel for people who have come into my life and for some reason now I no longer see or hear from them.....

 

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

 

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and

force you to take a stand.

 

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

 

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real.

But only for a season.

 

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must

build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

 

TODAY THANK A PERSON WHO IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER HAS BEEN PART OF YOUR LIFE - Even if a small way you can make them feel that you are indeed thankful for their presence as well as the beautiful moments that they have given you.

 

unknown

[itsallgrand]

I've always had problems letting go of people. I experience severe pain and anxiety a the thought of never talking to the person again, forgetting the memories. I go over the special moments in my mind again and again. It takes me many years to recover from just flirting with someone and it not working out. I can't let go, I almost don't want to.

 

What is wrong with me? How can I get better?

 

Well that is really it. You don't want to. Once you really want to, you'll find the ways. You'll look for them, and move in that direction.

 

So. Holding on and fantasizing, going over the past over and over, it gives you something you like. What is that? Whether it is simply that you don't have to be with the feelings of anxiety, or something more, it would help to know.

 

Have you ever tried dealing with your anxiety? Have you ever talked to someone about this?

[angrythoughts]

I have the same issues. I spoke to guys for only a week and once they stop talking to me I get sad and depressed. It won't take me years but it'd take another person to heal my previous wound. I've been jumping from guy to guy after things don't work out to well. I get heartbroken easily. When I do get hurt i can't eat; all I want to do is sleep and I may shower more than often (showers helps me calm down a little). I understand where you're coming from completely. I don't know what advice to give though sorry. I myself haven't fixed my clingy/obsessed ways.

[SAButterfly]

Nice post, Moggs. I'm definitely an anxious person. I used to be more avoidant, but now definitely anxious. I've been having a very difficult time letting go my ex. Even though he told me that he wants to date others. My heart still aches for him and the love I felt for him. My anxiety peaks when I think that I will never feel that again (because I have a very difficult time falling for guys and letting them in). I guess we all just have to keep pushing forward.

[lifeisablur]

I have major problems letting go of people, it seems that even while I'm in a serious relationship with someone I can't help but think back to the previous serious relationship, ends up tainting the relationship I'm in. Only after the present relationship ends do I finally realise I'm over the one before it!! Totally mad way to think and very detrimental to any relationship I have.