John Wayne Movie & Brownies

[CaraMaria]

I can't recall the last time I had a full nights sleep. It all started a almost a year ago when my oldest son left for Iraq. I was glued to the news on the internet, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, printing out maps of Baghdad and pinpointing trails with stick pins to try to keep up with his latest missions and locations. Sending out boxes of goodies and collecting boxes of supplies for our troops, wrapping them late at night sitting on the floor up here. I just don't know what to do with myself now that all the kids are grown and gone. I feel like nobody needs me. I keep wandering around this big old house way into the wee hours of the morning. I have never had a job away from this farm and raising a family. I am thinking about it though, providing I can get a full nights sleep. On the other hand, my husband is so used to having me home and all his meals cooked and there is so much to do around here, maybe I am wrong in considering this. I don't know. Yesterday I made 16 pints of my grape jam, and that was the highlight of my day. If I didn't have this pc I would be insane. I live so far away from town, 18 miles to the main road off this mountain, and there are no neighbors. I had some visitors yesterday though, 5 deer, 3 squirrels, 2 groundhogs and one barn owl who insists he likes to roost on the clothesline pole. I was almost tempted to ask him if he knew harry potter and if so please drop me off the nimbus broom so I can fly out of here for a day or two. lol

There is something else also, I don't drive. Yes, I am one of those ladies stuck back in time , who has always and still does rely on my husband to take care of me in most things. Of course, I take care of him, but now the children are all gone, I am starting to notice I need something more in my life just for me. Is this being selfish? shouldn't women like myself be satisfied in taking care of her home and her husband? I have done it for years and years, I have never cheated on my husband or him on me, we are very happy, and have a wonderful marriage. I just don't want to blow it by asking to go to maybe one of the art classes I saw listed in town. I don't know what to do about this. I miss having children and teenagers in the house. I miss being a full time mommy, and sitting down and playing games with them and having everyone sit down at the table to eat together. Now, it only my husband and I who sit at the dining room table with the news on in the background. In a couple hours it will be time for him to get up and go milk the cows and do the morning chores while I cook his breakfast and pack his lunch for work. Then I see the school bus lights coming around the bend and start to cry, because it doesn't stop here anymore. If anyone has any suggestions for a southern lady who doesn't drive and has lived her life for her family, please drop me a line. Thanks so much, Cara

[Mun]

Cara I loved your post!

 

We are sometimes so wrapped up in our lives that we don't stop to notice nature. You, on the other hand, are constantly surrounded by it. It's so nice to read this..almost felt like I was there!

 

Listen, there is nothing wrong with wanting to get yourself involved in new things. Take a class if it will make you feel good. Do whatever you need to feel purposeful again. Tending to a home is hard work, you should have a bit of downtime too. You need it for your own sanity

 

Talk to your husband about taking a class. Hopefully he will see the advantage of coming home to a happy wife who is enjoying her time to herself.

[DBL]

I don't sleep either, but I have different reasons for that.

 

Sorry you seem pretty down. Don't they call this the empty nest syndrome or something like that? Maybe this is something you should discuss with your husband. Explain to him what you explained here. Sounds like you have a solid marriage. Maybe you can join like the big brother big sister programs, or volenteer at the hospital or at an orphanage or something like that, where you will be appreciated and depended on like you once knew. My mom is from the the Bronx so she never learned to drive either, but she doesn not live 18 miles from home.

 

Hang in there and I hope things get better for you soon.

 

DBL

[Nifty_Swifty1]

Have you looked into becoming foster parents? My mum and dad did, and even though they have ended up with a couple tuff kids they really like it. If taking the classes would work, then I would say that you should do that, but I think you should rally look into going through the process of becoming foster parents. You sound like someone that would really enjoy the job.