pl3asehelp Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 I know way too many people who are doing it wrong, then...when they're bored, they have sex...or find people to have sex... And McDonald's is a pretty popular place to eat, so it must be good. Most people also seem to have dysfunctional and unsatisfying love/sex lives. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 It is about both (love and pleasure) for me and my boyfriend. He tells me that when we have sex, he feels a lot of pleasure but also emotion for me. It's a way of helping to bond with someone, sexual activity in general. When I went through a really bad patch and we didn't have sex for almost 2 weeks, he worried a lot about our relationship and snuggled with me more but didn't initiate anything. It may just be for pleasure for you but for others, it's more. I could never have sex with someone that I didn't love. It is about pleasure, first and foremost. Otherwise, a man wouldn't do it. And if it wasn't about about pleasure for a woman, there wouldn't be any humans. Everything else is secondary. Link to comment
tatis Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 I could never have sex with someone that I didn't love. I'm afraid it's not the same for most men. We are sort of more physical. I can have sex with someone playful and even enjoy it more than just make "vanilla" love with my wife (said by a man married during 25 years) Link to comment
lalalollipops Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 ^ question, have you ever been unfaithful? Link to comment
tatis Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 ^ question, have you ever been unfaithful? If the question is for me (you should use the available quotes option) the answer is ' of course'. Link to comment
Avila Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 ^ What if it's with someone you love and it's not vanilla? Hehehe. That was my sex life and so it's kinda ruined me for casual sex. Damnit. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 ^ question, have you ever been unfaithful? Nope. Not a once. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 I'm afraid it's not the same for most men. We are sort of more physical. I can have sex with someone playful and even enjoy it more than just make "vanilla" love with my wife (said by a man married during 25 years) I think that's a complete and utter cop out. My husband has never had sex or any sexual relationship with someone he wasn't in a long term relationship with. Link to comment
Avila Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 I think that's a complete and utter cop out. My husband has never had sex or any sexual relationship with someone he wasn't in a long term relationship with. I agree with that. Not every man is set up for that kind of relationship with sex. My ex had a terrible first time at a very young age and it put him off. To be honest it set him up for sex on a much deeper level because he really didn't want to repeat his first time, whereas his friends who were virgins really didn't have a clue. It's interesting how our formative years influence our ideas about sex. So many young men I know have a 'no big deal' attitude to sex and it puts me off! Link to comment
littleL_RN Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Of course sex has the potential to become mundane when you're having it with just one person. Still, in a healthy relationship, the sexual experience will seem to vary a great deal. Sometimes, it's just pure lust for one another that drives you to do it. Other times, it's an emotionally bonding experience. Sometimes, it's a little bit of both. And when you're comfortable with one another, you tend to naturally be more open to trying new things. I would never sugar-coat it and say that sex in with a significant other is always amazing and you're just constantly wanting to tear each other's clothes off. There are times when one or the other is tired or just not feeling all that turned on. But these are very common ebbs and flows of a relationship. I doubt all single people live in an eternal state of horniness and are ready to have sex at the drop of a hat either. Link to comment
Coconut Twin Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 I am still a virgin so I have no knowledge of such things, but it seems to me that If I had sex with the same girl all the time then things would get very boring, kind of like watching the same movie over and over and over again. Assuming that neither of them is cheating, how do couples not get bored of having sex with the same person? You spice things up....but then people have got bored with each other and broken up even when the sex was amazing... Link to comment
Fudgie Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 It is about pleasure, first and foremost. Otherwise, a man wouldn't do it. And if it wasn't about about pleasure for a woman, there wouldn't be any humans. Everything else is secondary. Why can't it be about both for many people, myself included? It doesn't have to be just one. If "pleasure" always always always was the primary objective, then I'm sure my boyfriend and I would be cheating on each other left and right because having sex just feels good and if we put ourselves out there, well, you can have more of it. But neither of us want that. I'm afraid it's not the same for most men. We are sort of more physical. I can have sex with someone playful and even enjoy it more than just make "vanilla" love with my wife (said by a man married during 25 years) I thank my lucky stars that my boyfriend isn't like "most guys" like how you've described. We have loads of sex, vanilla and otherwise, and he has had the opportunities (esp in the past) to hook up with girls who REALLY REALLY wanted to screw him (he has had 3 different girls tell him that they wanted to take his virginity - creepy). But he was with me first. But even if he had had sex before, as long as it was in a relationship, then that's fine. I guess not everyone can be a good, faithful monogamous partner. I am very lucky. Link to comment
tatis Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 ^ What if it's with someone you love and it's not vanilla? Hehehe. That was my sex life and so it's kinda ruined me for casual sex. Damnit. Well... that would be great. But it's not my case. I love my wife and I know she loves me too. But she sucks in bed being too embarrassing and shy to be bold. I tried to change her but all was in vain. I had then two options: 1-Give up my fantasies for ever 2-Get a lover who performes what she doesn’t. I know my wife is far better person than my lover. And also know that my lover is far better in the bed. So both complement each other. Link to comment
tatis Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 My husband has never had sex or any sexual relationship with someone he wasn't in a long term relationship with. Who does say so? He??? HA!!! ...My wife would say the same about me. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Who does say so? He??? HA!!! ...My wife would say the same about me. Thankfully not all men are liars and cheaters. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted July 14, 2012 Share Posted July 14, 2012 Why can't it be about both for many people, myself included? It doesn't have to be just one. If "pleasure" always always always was the primary objective, then I'm sure my boyfriend and I would be cheating on each other left and right because having sex just feels good and if we put ourselves out there, well, you can have more of it. But neither of us want that. Humans have self control. Hence why everyone isn't cheating on each other if they are in a relashionship. It can be about both, but pleasure is first and foremost, otherwise, nobody would be doing it. Link to comment
dancer179 Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 After years of being with the same person and learning everything about them, what turns them on, what makes them tick, you can do some pretty spectacular things with their body. Plus, if there is emotion and chemistry involved, sex becomes like your own private ritual. Link to comment
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