anything? really need some support and insight here!!

[kts]

I'll keep it as brief as I can, but I really need some help!

 

We broke up in May because he had a concussion and was not able to handle anything in his life let alone our intense (and I now realize, unhealthy) relationship. We saw each other too often and we're both kind of a mess emotionally. WE broke up two months after his concussion but when we broke up he said he wasn't wanting to make any permanent decisions. He asked if we could talk at the end of June. Well he forgot the date completely, which he felt awful for, but we did meet up and he said a lot and I need help deciphering it and figuring out what I want. I spent a lot of my time when we were apart working on myself and being happy with my life. I like my life now, I just want him to be a part of it, not in the same way he was before either, in a much more mature and happy, healthy way. But I was basically holding out some hope for him this whole time. Anyways we talked for about three hours about everything.

 

So basically he just still seemed so confused and doesn't know what he wants. He was pretty clear that he just doesn't want a relationship right now and can't tell me when that will be. He said things like he could see us together in the future but just not right now and he doesn't know when that will be and after I said that I didn't want to be in limbo anymore, he said that he didn't want to string me along.

 

He sent a lot of mixed signals and at time I felt like we were going to get back together, I could feel it and then I felt it just slipped through our finger tips completely. I suggested dating and he said he didn't want to get my hopes up cause he didn't know what would happen. But he seemed upset when I said I didn't want to wait anymore. He doesn't want to hold me back but he doesn't know what he wants. I asked him if he would tell me if he ever starts to have feelings again. Before I had even finished the sentence, he told me he would pinky promise (it was kind of a cute thing we used to do) that he would tell me the second he knows what he wants. I expressed pretty clearly to him what I want out a relationship in the future and he seemed to agree with me.

 

He just kept saying things like, I don't know what I want right now, I want you, I don't want strings attached, I don't know when I will want a relationship and I don't want to hold you back. I don't want to put a label on myself, I miss you in my life, I want you as my friend back because you were my best friend.

 

And it's true we really are best friends and I really miss having him in my life. I don't know if I'm ready to be friends just yet but I really want to be there for him. He doesn't seem to be doing to well and his home life isn't great either, his parents have been kind of forgetting about him lately and just leaving him there and he's gotten into some not so great things. I don't think he can handle a relationship right now, he's been in one almost his whole life, he jumps from girl friend to girl friend.

 

I'm just so heart broken and still not even sure what we really decided to do. When we left we stood there just hugging and talking. He said how he really missed me as a friend (and in other ways). He was glad I was open to being friends and seeing what happens, but at the same time, he doesn't want to string me along anymore. He said he really likes his life now, I feel like he is just so afraid of all the bad that was in our relationship just coming through again so he's afraid to try while he's still not "stable". He said I was his best friend, and he wants that back. He said he was sad but also happy that this was happening and that we could just be friends again. I don't know what to do though.

 

I want to have him in my life but I want to be with him. I miss him so terribly and I feel awful because he still seems like such a mess and I don't know what to do about. I'm debating asking him to coffee in like a week or two to just kind of clarify what we are and where we are going. I might be having a party this weekend and I told him to come, he said he would if he doesn't go on a trip with his friends. I don't know what to do though. I miss him so much and I want to be with him still, and I don't want to give up, but at the same time I've been a sitting duck for so long that it's been getting so hard. I told him no matter what, the door for getting back together for us is always open. But that's the way it kind of is for me with a lot of people. I don't believe in holding grudges and if there was never any real harm done, I always like to give people a second chance. He told me he was always there for me and that he would always be there for me if I ever needed to talk.

 

He did say something like, I feel like you and me are going to be like a movie. We're going to meet up in a couple years randomly at some bar and go on a date and fall in love all over again. I mean his intentions were sweet but that just sounded dumb to me. I'm so upset though I want to be with him so so badly that I really just don't even know what to do. I don't think he can handle a relationship right now, it just hurts that wasn't even willing to try. And it's not that he wants to go out and hook up with a bunch of other girls, he just doesn't want a label.

 

I want to be there for him and help him to try and figure all of this out but I don't know what I can do or what I even should do. He was just so confused and I don't think he knows what he even wants. I asked him if I could give him a kiss and he didn't say anything so I said never mind but then kind of grabbed me and did it anyway, and it just still felt so right. We kissed a couple times but nothing more than that. Our last hugs I said I didn't want to let go and he said me neither. He said that he thought at the beginning we would get bak together but now he doesn't know. I don't know what to do and I'm so heartbroken!

 

I feel like in time and after seeing me he will remember what he wants and what he wants out of me, but I don't think he knows where to fit me in, in his life without hurting me and I don't know what to do. I love him so much and I want to be with him so badly but I just don't know how or what to do about it. Help please? and please be gentle!!

[DylanNotorious]

I think he's stringing you along. He won't make any concrete decisions, and is very vague. Don't blame his concussion for this, that's not really the reason, and I think you know that deep down inside.

[kts]

he said he didnt want to string me on anymore, but only after i said i couldnt wait in limbo anymore. he wants to be best friends and he kept talking about the future like far down the road but i dont want to get my hopes up but i dont want to give up ):

[dasilver]

Kts,

 

Girl...As painful as this sounds...you might have to walk away from this one (temporarily though).

 

Your guy is telling you he doesn't want a relationship with you right now....LISTEN to what he is saying and believe him.

 

I know it hurts, trust me i've been there and done that but at this very moment in time your guy is saying he just wants to be friends. Please accept what he's saying.

 

Since you have very strong feelings for him...you will hold onto anything he says with hope. Which could be very confusing for you.

 

I would suggest you give him some breathing space (and lots of it). Let him be for a while.

 

It will be hard initially but it will be easier as time goes by.

 

...and later...who knows....You just might meet in that random bar and fall in love again...but until then...Leave it up to serendipity....

[kts]

yea ive accepted (as much as I can its still hard but its getting easier for me to say it and accept it) that for right now that nothing will happen and am trying my best to move on with my life. I do like having him there as a friend and after two whole months of just not talking to him! it feels so good to talk and just hang out again. Im just letting him contact me now. not reaching out to him in any way and letting him talk when he wants to. we did talk this morning and i got a bit more closure which was nice! but i know i need to do exactly what your saying its just extremely difficult ): i actually meant to post this in the breaking up forum since i dont see us getting together anywhere in the near future!