Shake Spear Posted July 3, 2012 Author Share Posted July 3, 2012 I just wish I knew what approach to take since this is a special circumstance. Right now I feel like she is trying to get over what I did and still loves me very much. I don't know if being there for her and starting even as friends would be the right thing to do as I continue to do NIC. Has anyone had experience in this? To be honest, i dont think NC will do any good in terms of winning her back in this case. Since you cheated, it was you (in a way) that broke up with her. Link to comment
skheehee Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 She texted me yesterday, and I have not replied. Told me to stop entertaining her mum, who keeps pushing me to fight for her daughter, even though she's with someone else. I was doing fine on NC till she texted. Now, I'm thinking about replying her text. should I say something? Like, "I'm not" or something short and precise? I'm confused. Link to comment
Shake Spear Posted July 4, 2012 Author Share Posted July 4, 2012 She texted me yesterday, and I have not replied. Told me to stop entertaining her mum, who keeps pushing me to fight for her daughter, even though she's with someone else. I was doing fine on NC till she texted. Now, I'm thinking about replying her text. should I say something? Like, "I'm not" or something short and precise? I'm confused. Yeah, i think thats fine really. Personaly, i think its annoying when family and friends intervenes or wants to pitch in and give you "advice", when it seems noone knows what the F they are talking about. When my ex dumped everyone said: "You should do this and you should do that". And all of it was lousy advice like: "Just call her and tell her you love her and then ask for a second chance" Link to comment
skheehee Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Hm... So I sent her a text message, which just said "I'm not". Damn. Broke my NC of 5 days. Link to comment
skheehee Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Feeling like s*** now. maybe I shouldn't have replied her. Link to comment
Shake Spear Posted July 4, 2012 Author Share Posted July 4, 2012 Feeling like s*** now. maybe I shouldn't have replied her. Hehe, relax. She was the one initiating contact, and in this case, i think a response was ok. Its not like NC is some magic spell that brings exes back, and if you break it, they dont Link to comment
skheehee Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Hehe, relax. She was the one initiating contact, and in this case, i think a response was ok. Its not like NC is some magic spell that brings exes back, and if you break it, they dont You're probably right. I think I'm overreacting. NC from now on. It's a marathon, not a sprint! Link to comment
skheehee Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Its hard to know that she's happy with someone else, when I used to be the one who made her happy. Then again, it's just over a month of their relationship. Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Yeah, let it play out, skheehee. It absolutely tortures my mind that my ex feels "strongly" for some guy already, and it's only been a month since our break-up. They will have their complications and problems though. Don't worry about them, worry about when they're over, what has to be done to get her back into in your arms again. That's really what matters here. Link to comment
Shake Spear Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 Ok, so i started to wonder: Is there anything such as "common" dumper behavior? Are there any cues to look for? Now by reading the forum, it seems some dumpers do the whole "breadcrumbs and lets be friends" thing, others become mean and cold while others avoid the dumpees like the plague, probably because they still are hurting or feel guilty somehow Now i know this is dumb, and falls into the "dumpee trying to over analyze" everything category. But the way my ex has acted seems to be very unlike most of the stories i read on here. Now; after 5 weeks of NC, i broke it last Friday. I sent her a text, asking if she wanted to talk and i got a very enthusiastic "YES from her. Now the talk itself was fine, just joking around and catching up, no serious stuff, and i could her she was happy to hear from me When i ended the conversation, she asked me if we could talk more some other day and later that night i got a goodnight text from her. Now i know this does not mean anything, so i am not getting my hopes up or anything Now, the thing that has me wondering, she has not contacted me since. She has not been "mean/cold" and our interactions have only been positive, so i kind of expected her to throw the "friend card" at me, but she hasn't. Now it is possible that she is seeing someone else, and she feels guilty, but she is staying with her parents for the summer. They live in a pretty small town, and as far as i know (knock on wood) there are not many interesting guys there (her words), and in the case she is seeing someone, she is going back to Uni. in the fall, so whatever relationship she might be having now, would end up as LDR. Now i am not going to contact her again unless she does it first, but i just find this whole situation confusing. If anyone could provide some insight or experience, i would be really happy Link to comment
skheehee Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 Yes, it is really confusing. My ex did ALL of the above, which leaves me in a perpetually confused state. I'm so confused that I learn that it's best not to think about things like this as it will only muddle your mind even more. Having said that, I think what you need to do is wait and not expect too much. I think she expects you to call her, and that's putting you on that ball of string again. Honestly, would you rather leave it at that, or would you want to be led on again? Plus, if she is already seeing someone else, and if at this stage, you still want her back, the more you contact her, the less effective those 5 weeks of NC will be. I think. Let her come on her own, if she is really sincere and wants a chance at reconciliation. By the way, I salute you for summoning up the courage to call her and keeping your composure throughout the conversation. Few would be able to do what you just did. Link to comment
Shake Spear Posted July 6, 2012 Author Share Posted July 6, 2012 She was mean, giving breadcrumbs as well as making herself scarce? I can see how that would throw you off But you are right, it is no point in reading too much into it Link to comment
skheehee Posted July 6, 2012 Share Posted July 6, 2012 She was mean, giving breadcrumbs as well as making herself scarce? I can see how that would throw you off But you are right, it is no point in reading too much into it Yup. I'm still confused, but I'm slowly learning to pull myself away and not care anymore. Someone who really loved/s you would not toy with you in this manner. Just something to think about. Link to comment
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