help, im not ready! any suggetions?

[cutelittlechef]

i really need some advice and hopefully soon. u've been going out with my boyfriend now for 7 months. he is my first boyfriend. i love him with all my heat. we live 75 miles away and we see eachother 3 or more days a week. i like kissing his and making otu with him and stuff, but he wants more. he always gets in these little fits where he gets upset becasue i don't give him any. he wants to be mroe sexual, btu im not ready for that.. i try to tell him but he pushes me off and says, "if you love me you would" and "if you lvoe me, prove it" . he also talks about if he was another guy, he woulda dumped me because every teenage guy gets something from his girlfriend. what should i do? i want to make him happy, but i dont want to go against my morals or whatever.. any suggestions?

[Di]

This is only my opinion. If it were me, I wouldn't be making out with him, especially if I was not ready. I feel like I would be sending him the wrong message.

 

This "If you love me you will" If he loves you then he would not expect sex from you, he would wait. Are you sure you are in love with him, since he is your first boyfriend? Don't have sex with him, you are still young and their will be other boyfriends, who they too may put you in the same situation. Stand your ground. If you are not ready, tell him and he doesn't respect you, then I would break it off.

[cutelittlechef]

so making out with him sends him the wrong message? i know i love this guy.. i have loved him sense the first time i met him. i've never felt this way about anyone before.-before we just hugged eachother adn cried we were so happy together.. i want to grow up with this guy and live with him. he even picked otu names for our future kids. he says that he totally understnad that we shoudlnt have sex before we are married, but he wants to be alot more sexul, and he thinks its so easy to just rip off you pants and whatever... this is liek the only problem that we have.. btu it is major.. on my next birthday i will be 18 years old..

[jamin]

I agree with Di. A gentleman would not pressure you to do something against your morals. His "if you loved me" statements are very self-centered. I hope that you stick to your values and are still able to work out your relationship problems. If he will not compromise, maybe it is time for him to move on. You both sound young and will grow and change a lot in the next few years.

[Nothingelsematters]

if you dont want it than you dont need to do it just to please him. if he really loves you he can wait, 7 months is not that long. If he gives the corny "If you really lvoe me you would" slap him in the face bc if he really loved you he would let you make your own decisions instead of presuring you liek he is. if he is gunna leave you bc he doesnt get some than let him leave, hes not in the relasionship for the right reasons, if you do "love" each other than you will be able to talk to him openly about this and he will understand, if it is just lust your relasionship will fall apart.

 

Decide what do you want? understand if he does leave you bc of this he doesnt really care about you and know he is not the only one in the world, it may be your first relasionship but it wont be your last if you break up, good luck and follow what you know is right ~ Late

[Santorini]

hello there,

 

Hmm... I know u love this guy but u haven't get ready to give him anything. He asked u to prove your love. But i don't think SEX is the only thing that can prove our love. There are many ways to show and to prove our love besides sex. Actually, what does he love? He loves you or he loves SEX ??? If he really does love u, he shouldn't force u to do anything that u don't want to do or to do anything that is against your moral, right ? Ask him to prove his love too. If he really love you, why can't he wait for you ? why can't he let u do the thing u want to do ? If your bf decide to dump you because u don't give him, I do think he doesn't deserve your love actually.

[Tellin It Like It Is]

Listen, my best friend (who is SUPER HOT, believe it.) lost her virginity last year at the age of 24. She liked making out too. She did it when she was ready. I was a teenager when I lost my virginity, but then I got pregnant. (Oh yeah, that). DO NOT SLEEP WITH ANYONE WHO GIVES YOU ATTITUDE FOR YOUR SELF RESPECT!!!!! I know you love him. I have loved some boys that could have given a poot about me, and that's the sad, re-occurring truth.

You are beautiful. Sweet, intelligent. Having sex for the first time is a gift to someone that should not be wrestled out of your hands.

Please keep waiting, you will be so stoked that you did. (Do you want a baby? An STD?) Those questions need to be looked at. If you are prepared for the risks AND the consequences, then do it when YOU are ready.

[cutelittlechef]

oh my gosh, thank everyone so much! you are all so kind, and your advice really did help me. i am blindly in love and i feel like im walking around in the dark.. thanks for the flashlight!