I need some input

[ashblaize]

So my ex and I broke up back in November of 2011. Things were really crazy at the time and we were both making really destructive decisions and our lives were out of control. he left me out of the blue and said that it was because I couldn't control my emotions. After he left, I started to really analyze my life and realized that it was time to stop partying so much. I quit drinking completely (6 months sober now) and stopped doing all hard drugs. I only occasionally smoke now.

 

After we first split, I stopped drinking and began going to AA. during the following month, he started coming back around and was telling me how much he cared about me and that he wanted us to work. At a Christmas party for work (we worked together also, a whole other set of problems. I quit and work somewhere different now and love it!) there was a misunderstanding and he ended up leaving angry and in a drunk blackout. After that, he wanted nothing to do with me. In fact, during the week after that fight, he went back home and hooked up with a friend from his past and they are still talking and seeing each other every once in a while apparently.

 

So here I am 6 months after that and my grandma dies. I get really emotional and start really thinking about life and regret and the past and I texted my ex. He had previously told me that he didn't want to see or talk to me. In the text I explained that I was sorry that I let my life get out of control and get in the way of showing him how much I loved him and that that text message would be the last time I would contact him. I also thanked him for the time we had together.

 

He responded telling me all about a promotion that he got at work and telling me that he thinks that we could be friendly. This was before he knew that there was a death in my family... as far as he knew, this text was out of thin air. He invited me to stop by the restaurant that I used to work at sometime to say hi. He also said that he missed me. So I waited a week and went in and he bought me lunch and we caught up a bit. He hugged me goodbye. Immediately after, a mutual friend called me because he told her that I had come in and that it was a really nice visit.

 

Since then, I've been playing it cool. I moved recently and found some stuff of his that I know was important. One thing was a really old cookbook from his grandmother which was falling apart, so I decided to hand deliver that to him when I found it. He was very glad I brought it to him. After that, he texted me saying that he was going out of town (to where this other guy lives) during his days off this week but when he gets back maybe we could get together so he could get the rest of that stuff. He also said that it's been really nice seeing me lately.

 

So now, I don't know what to think. This "relationship" with this other guy seems like a rebound to me. I guess I just need to let it play its course and be patient? It seems like he misses me and he's finally starting to thaw out from the break up. We were together for five years and I was his first and only real relationship past 6 months. I feel like he needs to do the rebound thing and get it out of his system. He went a little crazy after our split, started partying a lot and being really destructive. I feel like this promotion has calmed things down in his life a lot, which could be a good t

 

I want to work things out. This is not something I'm willing to give up on. I have been taking strides to better myself and my life has improved immensely. I guess I need to just be a friend to him right now and let him see those changes and see if the person he fell in love with still shines through.

 

Any advice for working things out with your ex? I'm not trying to play any games at all. I just know myself and my emotions and I need to have some sort of plan or idea of what to do so I don't lose control of them. Has anyone else successfully reunited with an ex after a really ugly break up?

 

Thanks.