I'm exhausted, i'm tired. Just want it to be done.

[Shadowbite]

Anyone else just feel totally exhausted from the relationship breakup (its been a month and a half for me) ? I'm just so tired of the games. Nothing makes sense. Questions answered, just make new questions appear. I feel like nothing is getting answered. I've been going back and forth of NC and talking to her non stop. Love her so dearly, just wished we could talk things out. Just wish i knew, had all my questions answered... Hell i would feel so much better knowing the truth, even if it included that she was cheating on me and liked the other guy.. I have been in this situation where this guy pretty much knows every little detail going on in her life, his presence doesn't make sense... In fact there's a lot of "coincidences" of time-based events that point out that this guy is actually dating my ex. However, apparently they aren't.... Yet the guy has lied about many things, my ex knows this, says shes upset about it, but yet does nothing and still hangs out with him. Her theory is that he might of been secretly trying to split us up, but yet she hangs out with him all the time still, i mean ***?

 

Nothing makes sense...nothing. so much confusion, lies, i don't know whats truth anymore. Hell i got told that i still carried her heart, but the other day she said she didn't love me since december, and that we were never together .. haha... Then she gets all upset that she hurts me, yet keeps doing it.. IDk so many games... knew her 10 years.. my view is slowing deteriorating of her.. yet still love her.. jeez i hate her.. but i love her more than anything.... Then she wants to talk to me about everything and reveal alll.. but yet that was a day ago or today, and yet she hasn't contacted me about it again.. Im the one who always ends up contacting, i feel like an idiot. I hate this, i hate games.. I don't wanna play games. I don't wanna play NC and try to heal either. I just want answers, the truth. Why can't anyone just give the truth!?!? How can people just stoop so low and desert the ones they've loved and been with for so long. gah!..

 

 

I don't even remember the point of this thread. I guess just to rant to "heal". Also wondering if anyone feels the same and just hates this whole process.. Just wish it would be easy, like if ur gonna break my heart, at least go full out so i don't have to be confused anymore, and can heal. Or at least talk, so i can understand your point so i can easily walk away..

 

(I think my problem is that i always want to know the truth to understand the situation when things are destroyed, that way i can cope and like/dislike/ the situation for the right reason..)

[Sukiyaki]

Actions speak a whole lot louder than words, IMO. I am exhausted alright, of immaturity. It would all have been better if a lot of people (dumpers especially) told their SO what they were feeling at the time, why they were doing it, and what they wanted. To not drag out the relationship and indirectly say they want ouy. It would have been better to work out what was in the relationship instead of dropping everything like a hotcake for what they think is better. It would have better for anybody to treat us out they want to be treated especially when it comes to breaking someone elses heart. But alas everyone handles the situation differently and it all comes down to one thing: no one likes confrontation. I hate sugarcoated lines. I would rather someone be blunt of what's happening and why it's happening then for someone to sugarcoat everything. This just lead me with questions, an pinch of hope, a cup of shame. All ingredients made for it be harder to move on. Which is why I understand you, you feel a mix of hate, resentment, love, etc for her.

 

I'm ranting with you, lol to prove you're not alone

[jumper11]

Im here to say you're not alone either. I'm in NC and was in contact almost a years worth because he said we were working on things, meanwhile he continued to see someone.

 

Now im in NC and I hear from him everyday, its hard as heck, hard to picture a future without them. I too knew him 10 years like you. It's scary how much people can change, and not for the better. Hang in there, I would just try to not talk to her, it's the only way to start feeling better in general and about yourself... you're definitely not alone.

[chickydoodle]

Dishonesty and deception from one you shared so many years with and Love , is - well like a shock to the system. I have asked mine ' who are you" ?

I dont think we ever get the truth when there is a third party on the scene. They will lie about us to them and vice versa.

One day you will get to the point of not caring.

You just get tired of being tired and that can be quiet pleasant and numbing.

I guess it is a tough choice let go of the pain, and stop deluding ourselves about there being hope.

[Blondie176]

I can relate, i also feel tired of all the BS, although its gone quiet now. Our last conversation where he told me he still loved me,yet he went with the new woman the very next day and i assume ever since ( 8 days ago) has left me confused and fed up, constantly analising his last words, re-playing the convo over and over, i can see holes in what he has told me going back 2 months. Now as i look back i can see where he lied to me, lots of things have clicked in to place but there are still a lot of unanswered questions which are plaguing my mind. I wont ever find out the real truth, i just wish him and his new woman would get out of my head. xxx

[learning2relax]

The only way the games continue is if you allow them to. If you focus on taking care of yourself and not allowing them an audience to play the games, they can't and won't impact you. You have to be willing to turn your back on their attempts and focus on yourself to get to a place of acceptance and closure.

[maybelater]

i can entirely relate. My ex moved on very quickly no contact for long stretches of time. wound up in a relationship he claims he just "agreed to" and has cried to me on the phone about how he loves me, misses me, realized we weren't that bad, loves me, etc etc and has cheated on his new gf with me. But guess what he stays with her. It is a personal brand of hell. And it is the most awful painful place I have ever been in my entire life. I want to hate him but can't, I want to scream at him but never talk to him, I want to shake him and get him to snap out of it but instead I moved thousands of miles away from home, it is heartbreaking and very painful. I don't have answers as to how to get out of this place but I just know one thing you are not alone and it is a very sad place to be. I hope the end comes soon. I am only 6 mos. out of a 4 year relationship that I thought was going to lead me to get married... but I guess that joke is now on me.