coworker dilema...

[bobamour]

Hello Everyone

 

Slightly longwinded story which I'll precis as best I can...

I've known a girl for six years since she joined my company. In all that time we've just been friends; not hang out every weekend friends but very friendly at work or if we've bumped into each other socially at parties. In all that time we've both had a number of relationships. 2 weeks ago I bumped into her at a party and we where lamenting the current bad state of our respective love-lifes..."dont worry" I said, "I'm sure you'll meet someone great soon enough." "MAYBE I ALREADY KNOW THEM" she replied. There was something about the way she said it that made me feel it was directed at me, but it was very subtle, delivered in a very throwaway manner. We then went on to talk about her ex, and how I had found him very hard to talk to. "THERE WAS A REASON FOR THAT" was her answer, which coupled with the earlier comment made me feel she was implying he was jealous of her feelings for me. Both these conclusions are potentially pretty far fetched I grant you, but I couldnt stop myself reading them that way. From that moment on its been like someones opened this pandoras box of feelings which I've been denying I've had for this woman for all this time. Last week we'd both been working late on the same project at work,and twice I suggested we went and got some food together afterwards, and both times she said yes. This isnt something we'd normally do together, infact in 6 years its the first time we've done it. She's always been quite tactile with me, but she is a tactile person with all her friends so I can't get any clues from that. I went through all my photos that I have of us together (we have overlapping circles of friends so its quite common for us to be photographed together.) and in the majority of them...well, to put it bluntly we look like we're a couple, with her either lying on my shoulder or with her arms wrapped round me. My big dilema with this whole situation (and its a massive problem) is that the lady in question is my employee and the company I own has only 4 staff, myself and herself included!!! If I approach her and express my feelings for her, and they're not recipricated, then that would create an unbearably awkward situation at work every day. If I don't let her know my feelings then I'll loose a woman who I now realise, is the person I was put on this earth to be with. Any help would be much appreciated...

[Maverick44]

Bob,

 

Unfortunately, I feel that you should be very careful in this situation. She is an employee of yours and there are laws which work against you. Attribute it to a bad timing or anything else you would like to (fate of God?) but in the end, walk away.

 

It might not seem like it but yes, there are other women in the world you can be with. You just need to look.

 

I look at it as if you go for this girl and it doesn't work out, your company is in jeopardy. If you want to give ANY type of a hint, I would say something off-handed or throwaway as in "Well, I don' think people in a supervisory position should come onto their employees. It has legal ramifications. I think the subordinate has to make the first move, unfortunately".

 

Sorry but I'd hate to see you have trouble.

 

Maverick

[Michael2]

Oh this should be a huge NO GO. Especially considering you OWN the company and there are only 4 employees.

[evy38]

Why can't he approach her and ask her if she is interested in a date? Thats a question, not harassment. If she is, then you may need to decide just how far you both want to take it.

[Maverick44]

because if she says "No" and he were ever to evaluate/review her, any negative point can be pointed to that and work against him. Just laws in place that would not benefit him.