In doubt or should i not?

[kantlehner]

It has been 7 months..it was exciting when we had long distance relationship.. instant message everyday..talked on the phone..sent chocolates and flowers.. he asked me to move to the eastcoast...which i did move in with him..since then we hardly talk ... he is always tired, busy with work or sleep ... am stress too due to looking for a job in order to stay here in the US ... worse of all ... i cant seem to even tell him about my sorrow the fact that i didnt want him to have added stress. Sometimes, he knows that he has ignored me..and he made up by saying..he loves me..and tell him what he loves about me..but it somehow doesnt seem to convince me..and i dont feel it... the fact that he is separated with his ex wife w a 2yr old daughter..make me insecure..i feel that he hasnt get over with his ex.....spending time over at her place 2 x a week to see his daughter...hidden pictures and letters i found..made me feel even worse...i have thought about telling him..that i want to go home for good..but somehow i just dont have the gut to tell him..because we both know ..it is a depressing topic to discuss about..i dont know if he is using me because of loneliness or that he is in love with me even though he does tell me that everyday....i feel that i have nothing to offer him due to insecurity of my current life even though i do care for him..

[sisterlynch]

The relationship is over. Don't tell him any more. He is not interested in you the way that you would like!

[SwingFox]

Hi Kantlehner,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us with your questions. I am sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time right now. I understand that you feel confused and pressured. I also understand that it's hard for you to communicate with your man to make him understand how you feel.

 

Although he is going through some sort of depression or feeling down a lot, I am still in favor of communicating your problems with him. It might add up more stress to him, but I understand that you are feeling really unhappy now. I believe that it wouldn't be fair to give him a chance to improve things for you and with you. If you plan to leave him anyways, because you can't take this anymore, then why not try to make things right first. There's always room for leaving him later. After all, there has been a reason as of why you have moved to the East Coast. It tells you and me that you deeply care(d) for him.

 

If things wouldn't work out at anyways, then it might be time to go your separate ways. Keep in mind that the only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy.

 

I wish you strength, good luck and lots of wishdom to make the right decisions that work for you.

 

~ SwingFox ~