Confused About This Text Message

[victorianrose]

So last night the guy I have my eye on and I were texting...I have been VERY attached to him recently, can't get him off my mind, but he doesn't want to date yet as he said he wants to build the foundations of a relationship first before jumping into it. I was thinking, well maybe I should just drop contact for a few days, maybe it will get my mind off of him. I told him my plan, but just told him it was because life was too stressful. Then the convo goes as follows:

The Man: Do I have to leave too?

Me: If you wanna stay in contact I guess we coulddd but....I feel like I'm being too intense, need to step back away from my feelings for a bit.

The Man: Would you dare to say an "I" word? Because if that's the case I'm sorry, I'm not being an * * * * * * * but I turned my fire down so I could look at all the angles before I gave it to you.

(The last text from him I am completley confused about...)

We talked it over, I explained he hadn't done anything wrong, he still didn't want me to leave though even though I really don't know what to do with all these overwhelming feelings, he said "Just love me then hun, I'm not gonna stop you."

What do you think about this conversation? And what does he mean by an "I" word? I really didn't understand text and need some insight

[mikelopez]

Just ask him what do you mean about the I word hes playing hard to get if he really liked you he would of said yes to you guys dating. Just dont let him hit lol or youll lose your power

[annie24]

i dunno what the "I" word is. He sounds horribly strange and confused. how are you going to 'build the foundations' if you are not dating? I guess that means just friends, but then i think you should keep your options open and get to know lots of guys and date them too!! and what's with the "just love me hun" crap?? seems like he is skipping around all over the place. i would back way off and not tell him "your plan."

[HeartGoesOn]

What do you think about this conversation? And what does he mean by an "I" word? I really didn't understand text and need some insight

 

Have you tried calling him, and asking him to clarify?

[victorianrose]

i dunno what the "I" word is. He sounds horribly strange and confused. how are you going to 'build the foundations' if you are not dating? I guess that means just friends, but then i think you should keep your options open and get to know lots of guys and date them too!! and what's with the "just love me hun" crap?? seems like he is skipping around all over the place. i would back way off and not tell him "your plan."

We are both out of bad relationships, mind you, I am just more ok with starting a new one than him I guess because he's looking for long term with me, I would love long term if that's where the relationship leads to but if not, it wouldn't really bother me. He doesn't want to invest himself in another failed, abusive relationship. He said he jumped into relationships with girls he dated in the past (and his ex-wife) and they never worked out. I think you guys have the wrong idea.

[annie24]

We are both out of bad relationships, mind you, I am just more ok with starting a new one than him I guess because he's looking for long term with me, I would love long term if that's where the relationship leads to but if not, it wouldn't really bother me. He doesn't want to invest himself in another failed, abusive relationship. He said he jumped into relationships with girls he dated in the past (and his ex-wife) and they never worked out. I think you guys have the wrong idea.

 

I think we're all afraid of being hurt. most people are. most people have been burned or broken up with, so we all have some hurt feelings inside of us. i guess, however, like you, some people are more willing to try again. to use an analogy i heard here, some people want to dip their toes into the relationship pool and others want to dive right in.

 

i do agree with asking for clarification on what the heck he is saying. i would be careful though because it sounds like he is holding you at arm's length so try not to get too involved just yet. he might come around, sure, but i would keep getting to know other guys since he has told you he doesn't want to date you right now.

[pinkelephant]

He doesn't want to be in a relationship, but he wants you to "just love him"? He sounds like an emotional mess, which could mean emotionally abusive for you. I'd cut my losses. seriously.

 

 

Why is this so drama filled already? Just date like normal people and find things out about each other. Why is it have to be "jumping into" a relationship? Why can't you just enjoy each other's company? Agree to not see other people and not put a label on things? I don't get it.

 

A lot of people who say they're not into drama are actually major drama llamas.

[camogirl]

I think the "I" word could mean the "L" word..he just type a lower case L ..l...which looks like an I..just a thought..good luck to ya!

[Alezia]

I was thinking "Insensitive"? but I cannot comment.

[lalalollipops]

"I" word ---- "intense"??

 

I dunno. Yeah you probably didn't actually need to tell your him the exact reasoning behind you plan to cool off for a few days. Should have just left it at "hey I'll be pretty busy these next few days, just a heads up if I stop responding"

 

That way you sound less invested and not so into everything. Which imo is a good thing.

[brickheart]

Have you considered (as camogirl mentioned) that he's talking about the L word? I'd say that makes the most sense. Of course, that's definitely something you need to have a conversation about, if he's jumping into "love" already... Not saying your feelings can't or shouldn't be mutually strong, but it's too soon for love.

[Heather Dawn]

Have you actually met him?