please reply!!!!

[clodhopper]

hi guys, i posted a message a little while ago on here (its titled "should i shut up, or tell him how i feel? help please!!") and was wondering if people could please reply. i need advice.

 

it's long so i don't want to go through it all again here, but the whole story is there in the post. its in this forum on breaking up, and i'd really appreciate it if you guys would lemme know what you think!!

 

thanks!!

[sonjam]

Hi

 

"YOu sure he's not playing around under the "finding myself" cover?? Sorry, I had to ask, I've become a bit of a cynical person as far as that is concerned, too often they find themselves with someone else, without having to break the news to you - keep the backdoor open, and then when they either get bored, or lose interest - then they "found" themselves and suddenly can't live without you....

 

 

 

If that is not the case, I would recommend not telling him about how you feel yet. He should be the first to initiate rekindeling conversations, since he's the one requesting the breakup. You are , well not in such harsh terms but you are in this relationship the "dumped" partner. The "dumpee" is the one who should tell the "dumped" one if they want to patch it up or not. If it is the otherway around, the "dumped" one is seen as needy and clingy.

 

Great for you for wanting him and not needing him, but since you don't need him, have him as a friend in your life, until he is ready to get into this relationship again. I would STRONGLY sugest you wait until Xmas and you see him again. Usually absense makes the heart grow fonder, and by then if he really loves you - you will have your boyfriend back (if it is not the first scenario I described).

 

Good Luck"

 

was my reply, and I don't know if you saw there were others.....

 

Anyway, sometimes it is hard to hear things you don't want to hear. I would love to see if anybody agrees or disagrees with me.

[Clarabelle]

I know that the lack of resolution can drive you crazy, but I think you're doing fine. Your position is stronger if you don't contact him. When and if he wants you, he will contact you.

[Foz]

i told my ex all about how hurt i was and how i would do anything for us to be together again and begged him for a second chance. he was pretty cold and controlled and basically said he still thought he made the right decsion in breaking up with me. Now i feel like a fool for breaking down crying and losing all my dignity in front of him. he has moved on and no amount of grovelling on my part will change that so If i had my time back i would have kept my mouth shut and not let him know how much he hurt me or how much i missed him.