Getting back AT your ex !! (Revenge)

[savannahohsavannah]

The only true revenge is to be in the saddle with another guy and quickly. I mean it! You have to act as if you don't have a care in the world and if you see him in public ignore him, it will entirely get his goat. But, I have to admit, it's still a little unclear why you want revenge. It didn't work out, and you still have some unresolved anger at him. Why not use that anger to do something good?

[jchan]

haha well you don't have to saddle

1) for guys: "find a prettier girl"

2) for girls: "find a better looking guy"

that's for the appearance factor, that's pretty much the 1st thing the ex's see

 

the rest is up to you from that point

but to do this, you gotta make yourself desirable first

so that you can attain the above lol

[Ated]

OMG he called agian!!!

 

WTF?? I cant seem to tell him off. I just act friendly and make excuses like 'oh im just on the fone with someone, ill call u back..." and 'im busy studying' ... i cant tell him 'STOP CALLING"

 

 

what is wrong??? i dun want himt o call me... but i cant tell him?

how do i tell him??? I reall y hate thi,s

[SexySadie7]

Hi Ated.. i am not going to write a negative response. I won't, because I know exactly where you are coming from hun. I treated this guy I was dating like gold too... was so sweet to him, boosted his ego, always believed him, stuck up for him when other people were telling me he wasn't worth it either. In the end he treated me like I was a doormat too & I truly didn't deserve it at all.

And he, too was decidedly cold & harsh to me too when he no longer felt i was worth his "time". I don't hate him, but was so shocked at his cold & superior manner. He was a really nice guy when i first met him & started going with him. I never thought he'd turn out to act like the world's biggest jerk.... but that's just what he did. I know he's never want to be treated the way he treated me...

So I can understand you desire to what you call "revenge"... but maybe what you really want to do is just give him a piece of your mind or possibly tell him off for being such a shmuck!! And I cannot fault your for that.. and you know.. these kind of guys DEFINITELY NEED TO BE PUT IN THEIR PLACE OR SHOW THAT THEY CANNOT GET AWAY WITH TREATING PEOPLE (WOMEN) LIKE DIRT!! Otherwise they are going to keep doing it.

As far as wanting to be friends with him, if he's anything like my ex-boyfriend who acts like he's doing me a favor now if he talks to me for 90 seconds on the phone after i spent hours & hours listening to him go on & on when we were dating... no i wouldn't call that person a "friend". Friends care about you, want to spend time with you & answer your phone calls. The guy I was seeing has not been a friend to me in a long long time.. & I refuse to think of him as one...and no I don't hate him & still wonder how he's doing but.. He'd had to jump through quite a few hoops again if I ever was to think highly of him again.

That was what really drew me to him was he was such a nice sweet guy... very polite & considerate but what he displayed when he was dumping me was definitely not "nice guy" behavior.

If the guy you went out with thinks he can fall back into your good graces just cuz he honors you with a phone call, I'd set him straight in a hurry....

Besides... what with the new girlfriend wanting to meet you??? that's pretty weird if you ask me.

[Ated]

You REALLY hit the nail there SExySadie7!!

 

This is why i created this post...

 

Because when girls treat guys like 'gold' as you said, and we get treated like a doormat... The guys will think that this is appropriate and more than likely to treat their next gf's the same. And thats unfair on BOTH girls.

 

WE worked hard to get their mentality where they are... I opened up this guy. He use to be really shy. NOW? He'll talk to anyone who has boobs!

 

My gosh its pathetic!

 

Yes, his new gf wanting to meet me is VERY strange indeed. I dunno what to think. I have come to a few conclusions;

 

a) He is scared because i was able to move on

b) Wants me as a back-up (safety net) in case things dun work out with his new gf

c) He misses me or not miss me and wants to further hurt me by rubbing that he has a new gf (to show how much 'stronger' he is... PFFT

 

I dunno, But if he calls agian, 70% of my friends suggested to just tell him off and not call anymore... I mean, i AM doing better without him. However, i dun wanna be harsh on him. I mean, i did give him hints that 'im busy' but he calls again...

 

P.S

The first time he called and yesterday... he REALLY did seem like he was excited to talk to me. Like, he wanted to call me for a while but didnt have the guts to. Its all very weird this situation i'm in. Any angle that u can see it from, pls... tell me! It'll be a great help. THANKS

[Ated]

Anyone>?

[stolenshadow]

Hello Ated, oh this is a difficult situation, you love him and that makes it difficult to put things into perspective, no matter how much you know he's not good or how many people tell you about it, you just like the guy.

 

I read your conclusions, now tell me, if he misses you more than ever, if he's about to beg you, if he just wanted to make you jealous, what?, Does that means he's a better person now?, he's bragging about his new gf to you! Ask yourself, how much do you need to love him to forgive him for that?, What else are you willing to forgive?, What is your limit?.

 

I know it's going to be difficult to stop thinking about him, but it's that or keep suffering every time he phones or hints, if you don't want to be rude fine, just say "I'll call you" each time and every time.

This guy is a bad person and life is short, don't waste your time with him.

[me4ta]

Hey Ated,

 

You know that I have a similar situation with my ex, him being all nice but not "smoothe" in the beginning and then I made him over and now he's "better off without me" because he's suddenly this stud muffin who can have anyone...

 

Well, enough about that loser, let me ask you because since I'm in the same situation (with an exception of my ex calling me and bragging about his new gf) - are you upset and think you love him because you really love him or it's more like a mix of your feelings and a busted ego? I mean you made him over, you changed his life, you gave him confidence, etc. etc. etc. - don't you think that in some ways you also did not expect him to break up with you and move on so quickly because of the way he was before you "worked your magic" on him???

 

I certainly think I for the most part was upset about my ex because of that. I did not expect him to move on so quickly and break up with me, because I thought that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. truly, I was very very good to him, and I saw something in him no one else saw and now, after I "changed" him he's suddenly interesting for other girls....

 

So think hard about it. What is bothering you more: your failed love relationship with him or the fact that HE broke up with you after you did all those good things for him and your ego is hurt?

[Ated]

Both. Well he called me agian last ngiht.. But we ended up arguing agian. And NOW I KNOW THAT FOR SURE I DUN WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM!

 

Get this: He already has done it with this girl. I felt sick and disgustted. This girl was innocent.... and i KNOW that he isnt that serious with her... But who am i to judge. Anyways, tammygurl really hurt me, so i feel like i should just deal with my problem myself.... I really feel sad cos im getting hurt by some guy, and some person telling me that IM IMMATURE ... I dunno... wahtevr....

[me4ta]

Ated,

 

that tammygirl is full of hatered for some reason she told me that I'm full of $&*9t and that you're Immature - how good of her LOL

 

Anyways, don't pay attention, there are plenty of people here who'll listen to you and give you advice and raise your spirits. Some people have their own issues to deal with so they are getting at whomever they can, to get rid of their anger (hint hint tammygirl).

 

This place is great sharing your stories, but sometimes this is what you get when you let strangers into your personal life and they judge you from whatever is written and sometimes it can be misinterpreted.

 

To tell you the truth this site has helped me so much and I don't remember when was the last time I was here, I only writing this because I got an e-mail notification about your post and mine which are old, and I had to comment on that tammygirl, who replied to both or our posts....BUT, enough said about her, if you need to talk to someone, you can PM me.

 

Good luck.