Oh God its Sucks somtimes!!!!

[Dinocaz]

Just need to write somthing down - anything at all to get my mind of this cr@p. Had a good day a few days ago when spent time with my daughter.The sun refuses to stop shining though, and today heard through the preverbial grapevine my ex is having a barbicue with the kids and her bf. Why on earth does this bother me ??????

 

Such a small trivial event. But it ripped right through me. Was it only this time last year we were having the same events as a family ? The feeling of being the odd one out is somtimes to much to cope with. I should not dwell I know that. Should not let it bother me in the slightest. Maybe its my sitation today. Hot weather outside im stuck inside trying to work. Found myself with very little money this weekend, due to having to clear some debts away. Does not happen often and it will be short lived as more funds arriving tuesday morning but dont even have the choice of going out. I keep playing the same image in my mind of them having fun, as if nothing ever happened. Its awfull.

 

Yesterday I had to make contact with the ex as am starting divorce proceedings and needed marrige cert. Reminds me again of the GOLDEN RULE of NO CONTACT and why under no circumstances should it be broken. It was only a text and the reply I got was "Eff off" it didnt actually bother me apart from the fact I now have to go the long way to get a copy of the Marrige cert from the registry office.

 

Back to today how do people get through these days ? How do i get my feelings back in check like they were just 48 hours ago. Said it before and said it again IM TIRED OF ALL THIS.

 

Help im stuck with this one today ???

[Taven]

Sorry to hear this Dino (Why is she acting like such a * * * * * ?)

 

Spending time with others seems to be a good remedy for me, is there any family/friends you can see tonight/tomorrow? Then monday will come and it'll be a fresh week. If that seems to be her standard response you need to remind yourself everytime you feel you want to break NC.

 

Sometimes it's just hard, isn't it? It's like .. what is this all for, it feels endless and draining and just soul sucking. It's hard to vision better days ahead, but I'm sure there are for you and me (and whoever else is reading this!)

[Dinocaz]

You right Seece she only seems to know limited vocabulary when it comes to me. What did I expect that she would reply saying "Yes will send marrige cert .... " rain check needed for future. Im not gonna do anything at this regarding the D as she will defo play hard ball. And make it complex and expensive and she for certain is not wanting to sign a clean break financial order. Which SUCKS as even after divorce she could still come at me for financial assitance unless she remarrys or I do.

 

Today has almost passed thank god. Managed to work, earned some money, next week getting another haircut and some new clothes, both are very much overdue.

 

I wonder from a womans POV does or will she ever stop and think ? about the past ? about anything ?

I doubt it.

 

Wish you well also Seece in your own stuff. Let hope the drain brain feeling does not last forever.

 

Roll on bedtime!