Does less intamacy = problem

[bb13]

My and my GF were extremely intamate when we started to date. We would have sex almost everyday or at least make out. We've been going out almost 6 months now and she rarely seems in the mood to even kiss.

 

Is there a problem here??? I have asked her about it but nothing really came out of it. How could I solve this? I miss the intamacy, and am sort of worried that it means something more.

[sisterlynch]

You have to be assertive and ask her again, it is much better if you two part as friends than if she is slowly leaving the relationship.

[goddess23]

um...ya that definitely indicates a problem. it seems shes losing interest. unless you know that there are legitimate reasons for the two of you to be really busy or something but lack of intimacy means losing interest in the RELATIONSHIP. she may still care, but maybe it is best if you two take a break to figure thigns out. ofcourse talk to her again and really ask her about this.

[ImfeelingBlue]

You know, in fact this may be a huge problem. You are gonna have to bite the bullet and ask her what's reall going on. Because sometimes you never know, it could be you, or insecurity or self esteem. Whatever the cause, you and her are in a relationship and that calls for some openness to arise. You can calmly but directly ask...why don't we do what we use to do? Just what has changed and what can u do to make it better? Or are u even willing to? Actually, try being sweet like flowers or notes. Just for size and then if nothing works try asking. Maybe you just have stopped the mood. Maybe the whole in love flow and showing u care may have stopped on your part. Like I stated, we don't really know. So just try doing some nice things, and taking more care for her. Then slowly move in with the hugging and consoling. Then if the kissing and all other intimacy has stopped altogether, it possible that her fire has dimmed and if not approached in time AND correctly, may never be re-ignited. Good luck and stay positive. Take care.

[Vert]

My ex-gf lost intimacy of the course of the last year we dated, and I could definitely see it happening. She'd get upset if I wanted any kind of intimate activity (sex, making out, etc.) as she'd say "we did that three days ago! Why do you want it all the time now?!" I knew something was DEFINITELY wrong when she'd basically go straight to bed every night without so much as trying to kiss me, hug me, or anything like that.

 

Do you get the excuse "I'm really tired, I don't want to tonight" a lot? I know it's just a stereotype that women use that line, but I honestly believe it signals a problem. If she says it almost every night to try to avoid you then you might need to consider the fact that she's slowly trying to break away, and like one poster said you need to find out sooner rather than later.

[lunatic]

I agree with the poster that stated you should buck up and ask her politely about what is going on.

 

I don't agree with you imfeelingblue becuase it may be more than him at fault here. You made a generalization on the guy being the problem and that is not fair to him or men in general. Sorry I felt your post was a little harsh and we can tell you were hurt by some jerk in the past. Not all men are not willing to change and not all men are the problem when a relationship fails.

 

I think open communication is the best policy and you are in a relationship. You guys need to talk about what is bothering her and be ready to hear something you may not want to hear. Remember guy you have feelings too and you also have needs. Why waste your time in a relationship if your not happy and not willing to talk about whats happening.

 

Go ask her now and don't delay because there is nothing worse than staying somewhere your not getting your needs met. I think it is time for the "TALK" and be warned that you maybe single after the "TALK".

 

I would rather know then waste anymore time or feelings on this one.

 

My opinion anyway and good luck in what ever you choose to do.

 

Hubman 8)

[ImfeelingBlue]

Hubman is right..and I feel I owe bb13 an apology...it isn't right for me to assume it is your fault..she is feeling some type of way that she has been hiding..all in all its best to just ask her...I mean u do need 2 know what's going on.. Take Care n good luck..n again I apologize about before. =0)

[bb13]

Thank you everybody for the help. We have talked more and I think we've worked this out and its more-or-less back to normal. Thank you all again for your help.