REAL BREAKUP TIMELINE(" il nt tk 2 u" to "pls pls b my frnd")..helppp!!

[Sad Boy]

1 month 15days ago

>broke up due to a reason, she dose'nt even want to be my friend, she wants my completely out of her life

1 month ago

>i pleaded her like hell to come back, she rejected! saying dont disturb me, then i stopped giving a damn!

15 days ago

>she says that she wants to be my friend, but i still love her. so i tried so many times to part from her as i cant take her being my friend and finally done(asked her not to text me to call me)

7 days ago

 

I was totally firm in my opnion i decided to forget her!

she calls me up, how was i doing and talks for 10 mins, i just spoke but never cared or replied her texts

 

yesterday

She said she wants to be my friend but no love!

me: are doing this out of some sort of sympathy that u left me??, if so please, no thanks, i dont want itt !!!

and i can't look at u as my friend, i love you thats it!

(I was being firm that i love her, no friendship)

she just shut upp!! ok its ur wish but ur my friend this is not the right time for love, no sympathy nothing, i just felt like being your friend, so how was ur exam ?

 

HELP MEEE

 

 

 

**WHATS going on in her mind?? im unable to figure out

**does she love me?

**I cant take her being my friend, i love herrr!!

what to do, whether to act like i dont care...tell me anything sensible to do. pleasee!!!

[elephants]

How about telling her:

 

"I didn't have a say in our break up. So can I at least have a say in our friendship? I don't want to be your friend because it hurts to be just your friend. Please do me a favor and let me move on if you really don't love me anymore. If you still do, you know I'm willing to work things out. But if you're really 100% sure that you don't want to be together anymore, I will respect that, but please also respect my decision to stay away from you while I'm allowing myself to heal. Thanks."

 

That's how you feel anyway, isn't it?

[LDRohnos]

How about telling her:

 

"I didn't have a say in our break up. So can I at least have a say in our friendship? I don't want to be your friend because it hurts to be just your friend. Please do me a favor and let me move on if you really don't love me anymore. If you still do, you know I'm willing to work things out. But if you're really 100% sure that you don't want to be together anymore, I will respect that, but please also respect my decision to stay away from you while I'm allowing myself to heal. Thanks."

 

That's how you feel anyway, isn't it?

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ !!!!!

[tomato]

If you want her back please stop and ignore everything else here and talk to me.

 

I was in this exact situation and I know what you need to do.

 

Accept being her "friend" NOW - when she contacts you next just start acting like her very busy, very cool friend. DOnt pay her much attention - she is not your priority - she needs to work to get to see you, make it slow and difficult for her, but -dont say you dont want to be friends - infact if I was you I would say "I think we had such a strong connection it would be a shame to throw away our friendship" - if you are setting her up as your friend she will start to think (if you are acting cool and do the below things) "why does he ony like me as a friend - I WANT MORE"

 

You need this because asking for love is FAR TOO MUCH PRESSURE now - pretend sheis a new girl you just met - I'm sure when you first met her and you were attractive you didnt tell her you loved her and say I dont want to be friends and I just want to go out with you..........Treat her like you did when you first met - be cool - be hesitant. Take your time to get back to her, let her initiate.

 

Now in the mean time, go to the GYM, make some friends, make some female friends - but dont show this off - she will notice it gradually. Start doing something totally new - salsa classes are great force yourself to do something she would never expect you to do - something attractive and social preferably. - PM me for any more detials.

 

If you dont accept being friends you will never get her back - you will drive her away with your neediness of wanting to be in a relationship -be cool with it, and be attractive - then SHE will want to be more than friends - you cant ask for it she needs to.....

[Sad Boy]

thanks

but today

what happened is she is acting like she dosent want to loose me a friend at any cost, but no for love

Im actually 6 days younger than her, she says that the reason is she wants someone who is 4 years older than her.

then i said in the most polite affectionate way that we'l stop talking and i cant do anything about age..i said il wait 4 her to change till our xams finish"

we are not talking now!!!

did i mess it up ???

how to act now?

i really really really really desparetly totally want herrr !!! back

help !!!!

[elephants]

I don't understand why the 6-day age gap matters.

 

What tomato said is valid, but can you do that? It's very difficult to be a friend to someone you love, especially right after a break up. I think it's best to wait a while before attempting to get her back by being the disinterested friend. But you can do the first part of what tomato said. You can just agree to being friends, but don't act on it. I mean, just say okay, you're friends, but don't be always there, because you will only be hurting yourself.

 

I had an ex before who told me he wanted to be friends and that it wouldn't hurt him to hear about my new guy because he "didn't care anymore". I naively believed him because it was him who dumped me, and I kept telling him everything about my new life. After 3 weeks, he broke. He couldn't do it after all. And any chance he had at getting me back died because I began to hate him for his behavior. He couldn't do the disinterested friend act. He always insulted my new guy. He remained very controlling. Then he became plain pathetic.

 

What I'm saying is, if you're not sure you can commit to the act of being the disinterested friend, maybe it's better not to risk it. You might break, and that will make things worse. Only you know your situation 100%, so you make the decision.

[Sad Boy]

Firstly i want to thank you guys for helping me out !!

I was the 1 who told her that we would stop contacting each other

as she said love can never happen cuz of this stupid 6 days gap

 

A.should i just let this happen and let her miss me (I dont know why, she cant leave me completely, she says that she wants to be my frnd, and pls dont stop talking to me we will be frnds)

or

B.shuld i contact her and say we will be friends, and implement ignore plan ?

 

i only have two options

 

which 1 a or b ?

[elephants]

Well, as SuperDave says in his posts (you might want to read them), action speaks louder than words. I think letter A is the way to go. If she initiates contact, and you don't want to ignore her, just reply politely and neutrally. Example, if she asks how you are, just say "I'm good, thanks." but don't ask her how she is. That way, she has nothing to say against you because you are being polite and nice.

 

Letter B, I think, is unnecessary. If you do that, she might think that you're being weak and giving in to her demands, which you shouldn't do anymore because she's no longer your girlfriend. If she asks you again to be her friend, then you can say okay. But if she's not asking anymore, don't be the one to tell her.

 

I wish you all the best!!

[Tom1990]

she wants someone who is 4 years older than her.

 

You should frame that statement right there. She's pursuing someone new. Move on. Elephants had the right idea in her first post, I think. Tell the ex to back off so you can work on yourself and heal. Even if you got her back, it would be a mess at this point. It's only been a month since breakup.

[Sad Boy]

Well, as SuperDave says in his posts (you might want to read them), action speaks louder than words. I think letter A is the way to go. If she initiates contact, and you don't want to ignore her, just reply politely and neutrally. Example, if she asks how you are, just say "I'm good, thanks." but don't ask her how she is. That way, she has nothing to say against you because you are being polite and nice.

 

Letter B, I think, is unnecessary. If you do that, she might think that you're being weak and giving in to her demands, which you shouldn't do anymore because she's no longer your girlfriend. If she asks you again to be her friend, then you can say okay. But if she's not asking anymore, don't be the one to tell her.

 

I wish you all the best!!

 

thank you very much for the advice im gong to this really follow this now

even my friends started getting fed of my love story, there was no one to share, i felt so lonely and wrecked

Im sorry if this is wrong but i never had an elder brother sister to support me, today you guys were like one

sincere thanks to you elephant

I'l post here again

if anything works out

thanks and bye

[Sad Boy]

You should frame that statement right there. She's pursuing someone new. Move on. Elephants had the right idea in her first post, I think. Tell the ex to back off so you can work on yourself and heal. Even if you got her back, it would be a mess at this point. It's only been a month since breakup.

 

firstly thanks for your time tom

I will do that, if she dosent initiate contact with me within 10 days, il not contact her and try to heal my self, i think il visit a counsellor

Il never get into love after this in my life, im really scared of another heart break

thanks 4 your time

bye

[elephants]

Awwww Sad Boy, don't say that! Don't say that you won't get into love again. Actually I do feel like that right now. I feel like I never ever want to love again because it just hurts so much to have a failed relationship. But we shouldn't think like that. And anyway, unless you mistreated her in your relationship, you don't deserve what your ex is doing to you. She's acting like a brat. Surely, you deserve better? Surely, there will be others who won't care about a 6-day age gap?

 

If your friends get fed up with your stories, you can send me a private message and we can talk. I'm lonely a lot, and I don't have anyone to talk to about my relationship problems either. It would be nice to make some new friends, don't you think?

 

Just leave the ex alone. Let her stew in her own juices. It was her decision to break up and not have you in her life anymore. Let her suffer the consequences. Keep strong with NC, never initiate contact. If she contacts you, you don't have to respond. But if you want to, or if you think you should, just keep it brief and polite.

 

All the best, Sad Boy!

[Sad Boy]

I think its over she did not try to contact me !

Its been 5 days

[Tom1990]

Five days is nothing. That's the same as a work-week. Get yourself busy! Take yourself out to dinner and a movie, even if you miss her every second.

[flatplane]

I think its over she did not try to contact me !

Its been 5 days

 

As said, don't sweat five days. It's nothing.