need some help...

[tabbyloves]

okay, so first off, instead of just jumping into writing something, put yourself in my shoes. I don't soacilize, like at all. I'm a mummy's girl, so wherever she goes, i go. And i have a big problem with talking out of my own mouth. I don't got disabilities, but i'm a very anti-social person.

 

now, how would you come out of the closet to your church leaders?

I know they're lovely, and caring and stuff, but i don't know how they see this stuff...yesterday at church one of them came up to me and asked me what i wanted to do when i finished high school, I wanted to say 'to go see my girlfriend' but instead i said 'i don't know', i get really shy about this when its in person. so how would you do it?

[heart and soul]

Hi Tabbyloves.

Just posted my own problem on as well. Don't know if I can help at all but... being a mother I feel that if it was one of my children that told me I would be alot more comfortable with them coming out if they sat down and said that needed a loving talk rather than just adding it into a sentence. Anyone that loves you would want for you whatever makes you feel happy. If it was one of my children I would feel awkward at first but after all as long as they are happy, I am happy. If you feel that you can talk easily and have a good relationship with mum it helps. She will probably ask if you are sure and how long you have felt this way but she is just trying to understand... This is what happened when my daughter thought she might be. Good luck

[tabbyloves]

Mum already has a good idea that I'm les. She's quite a good guesser. Church leaders are different though. but thanks for your perspective.

[heart and soul]

Sorry about that. I would assume that church leaders where there to help and understand someone's thoughts, you shouldn't be afraid to talk to them.

Hope really hope you find your answer and your happiness.

No one is replying to my post... forgot to say that he is supposed to be a mature man in his thirties!

[tabbyloves]

Sorry about that. I would assume that church leaders where there to help and understand someone's thoughts, you shouldn't be afraid to talk to them.

Hope really hope you find your answer and your happiness.

No one is replying to my post... forgot to say that he is supposed to be a mature man in his thirties!

 

yeah, i just doesn't know how to do it. i stutter alot and freeze up, like literally.

i read your post, but being a teen I don't know what to say sorry. I'm not good with relationship advice.

[RedDress]

Mum already has a good idea that I'm les. She's quite a good guesser.

 

I think you should talk to your Mom. I know you think she has a good idea and that she's a good guesser... but... I mean... that's good! That means it should be a slightly easier conversation.

 

The reason I say this - in addition to having someone who loves you "on your side" - is because she's also a good reference. With something like church... well... that is extremely unpredictable. There are many different Christian denominations, some of which are OK with the idea of homosexuality, some of which are really, really not. And even then... within denominations, each church can be different and more or less tolerant too.

 

I think you need to go in steps. First, talk to your mom about your sexual orientation, thoughts, feelings. Just tell her you like girls. From there, you can ask her how your views fit into your church and ask her advice.

 

Baby steps.

[tabbyloves]

I used to be able to tell my mum everything, but things changed now i can't even tell her how my day at school went or the simple things. This is one subject i try to stay away from but someday I'd like to be able to tell them. No doubt she knows, due to her being computer literate, she goes through my stuff in a way that she thinks that she's not invading my bubble,and this is one of the main reasons i don't tell her anymore, she'l lfind out whether i want her to or not. And since she told dad how to do that stuff, now when i go down to stay with dad (coz they've been separated before i was born) i can't even have my bubble there. Coz that's partly why i go down ther, to get away from mum and everything, but now dad's down my throat aswell. They are bloody pushing it. I swear one day if they keep this up, i aint even going to be here anymore, I'll be at north wall ready to jump.

I can trust my church leaders more than i can trust my own mother. They make me feel safe, with mum on the other hand, invades in my life.