euphoria24 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Iv been on 3 dates with a guy and I really like him. We went to high school together and seems like we could potentially have a lot in common. Well, he got new job and the last 2 dates that we have set up he has cancelled because they called him into work. Does that show that he is not into me? Or merely that he has to work. Im upset but dont know what else to do so I wrote this letter and just a few hours ago decided against sending it. SHould I send it, is it important for him to know where I stand in the relationship or should I close my eyes and just let it happen. Last thing I said was do you want to see me again, and he said of course why wouldnt I? Here is the letter, should I send it to him on facebook?:single_eye: Ben, I just want to let you know that I would like to eventually be in a relationship with you , thats where my head is at, I dont know if you are just dating around and not looking for anything serious. It would be good for me to get some clarity regarding us so I dont get myself into a situation where I get hurt again like last time. I usually stay pretty detached from relationships up to a certain point and then I fall hard and then at that point the guy pulls away and I dont want that to happen again. I really like you and enjoy talking to you and spending time together and I see that we could potentially have a lot in common although there is still a lot that I dont know about you. Just want to know where we are heading, I would like us to head into a relationship . I hope you feel the same way, Im not looking to sleep around or date around. Don't know where your head is at or if you even want to deal with this issue with me, how you see me in your life, if you want the same things as I do, etc.etc. I know you are just now getting divorced, when I was getting divorced I was a mess, you seem to be holding it together pretty well. I met someone special too when I was getting divorced and I did not handle it very well because the pain of my divorce was weighing down on me pretty hard, and when I look back I wish I would have opened up myself up to the possibility of being with that person instead of using them as a distraction. Dont know if some of the same things are happening here but Im curious to know. I can give you all of the time and space you want, just need to know where you see all of this. I would be glad to know your perspective. Tell me where you are at. I need to find some clarity with you. Link to comment
calichick007 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I would absolutely not send that after just 3 dates. Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 thanks for the advice Link to comment
TriColors Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Please don't ever send this -- you sound desperate and needy. Read it again and think about how you would feel if someone sent that to you. Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 I realize I sound desperate but how else am I supposed to express the feelings of wanting to be in a 'relationship' with this guy? just let it happen naturally I guess, I felt really hurt when he cancelled our date and then I just went straight to the computer and wrote this letter, it was feelings of being rejected, but I should understand if he has to work right? Link to comment
lanaa Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 you cant tell them you want to be in a relationship eventually with them,that is just too needy and wrong,and it would make any guy back off Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Im so happy my peeps here are keepin me out of relationship trouble Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 I just said 'I MISS YOU' want to see you in a text is that needy or clingy???? Link to comment
jimjam07 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I wouldn't send this to him. Don't get upset that he cancels on you.. as he has been called into work.. you can certainly go on another date/s. I would ask him in person, see where he is at. As he might only just be "dating around". Ask him, polietly and say (along these lines) what are you looking for at the moment.. (wait for him to respond). If he is looking only to date.. wait until the date has ended.. and move on with your life. If he is ready for a relationship, say you are also looking for a relationship as well, and you could see him be in it with you as you have so much in common.. etc etc If he doesnt want one, move one.. there are plenty other fish in the sea Link to comment
jimjam07 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 your message sounds a bit clingy.. I wouldnt send it too him.. Only in a relationship I would say that. Simply ask: Hey, how is your day been? Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Thanks for the great advice jimjam07! I already sent that message to him and got NO response, wonder what that means. Im not sure if he will call me, what do you think jimjam07 , he calls me 'baby' or 'sweetie' what does that mean? relationship talk? lol I accidentally told him I loved him last night when we were talking lol Link to comment
TriColors Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 This will be sort of mean but you need to hear it -- He's going to run like the wind from you. You've told him that you LOVE him?? After 3 dates? What was his response? Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 This will be sort of mean but you need to hear it -- He's going to run like the wind from you. You've told him that you LOVE him?? After 3 dates? What was his response? He just said bye sweetie! I usually tell my sister I love you when I talk to her so I got confused. Do y'all think he is going to run cause I said I miss you? After he cancelled our date? I did not send the letter just FYI Link to comment
Mashed Potato Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 He just said bye sweetie! I usually tell my sister I love you when I talk to her so I got confused. Do y'all think he is going to run cause I said I miss you? After he cancelled our date? I did not send the letter just FYI Hi Euphoria, Your name suits you, but you need to tone the euphoria down.............a lot. Have fun. Don't get so serious. If you say I Miss you, I love you etc this early, then yes he will probably run. MP Link to comment
calichick007 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 OMG. OP, how old are you? Seriously, stop everything you are doing. Abort. You are doing waaaaaaaaaaay too much to say you've been on 3 dates with this man. I miss you? I love you? After 3 dates? I hate to be harsh, but you are LUCKY if he doesn't think you are a little loony at this point. Seriously, back alllll the way off. Immediately. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Yes, back off. Back way the heck off. Distract yourself with fun things to do without him. It must be up to him now. Link to comment
duke nukem Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Don't be clingy or needy. Bad. Be somewhat mysterious and flirtatious. Good! Well, as a guy I know it drives me nuts when a woman does that but it certainly interests me more and makes it that much more exciting. Plus he will chase if he's interested to that level, so it's a win-win for you! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I agree with the others...back way off. WAAYYYY too much emotion for so early on, no matter how much you might like the guy. It's one thing if you've been on a number of dates over the course of a couple months and you want to know where you stand, but it's way too early to be asking about this. It reminds me of my ex, who told me on the third date, "I can see myself spending my life with you." Not surprisingly, his feelings were more infatuation at that stage, and I ended up getting dumped. Be careful -- you may really like him, but you don't really KNOW him yet. As for telling him you loved him...well...it may have been an honest mistake, but it also may have freaked him out. You'll have to wait and see what happens. For now, simply back off and let him come to you. Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 thanks for all of the great advice guys. Now I need more advice: should I send this text: "Spent the evening watching a movie...now I'm going to bed. Wish you were here with me baby. Have a good night. " ??? Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 Absolutley Do Not Send That Letter. Thank-God You Didn't. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 thanks for all of the great advice guys. Now I need more advice: should I send this text: "Spent the evening watching a movie...now I'm going to bed. Wish you were here with me baby. Have a good night. " ??? Have you slept with him yet? That's an invitation for a booty call. Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 yeah I slept with him but guess what? He had been working all day long and he was really tired and so the sex did not go so well, that's another problem in the relationship... Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 ok I took the wish you were here in bed verbage out, Im not lookin for a booty call lol Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 I think you should not send anymore texts tonight. You text "Miss You" and got no response. He may be too busy at work to reply, so just leave it for tonight. Also, just wait for him to get back to you from here on in. I think you've done enough so far! Link to comment
euphoria24 Posted April 21, 2012 Author Share Posted April 21, 2012 I changed the "wish you were here with me babe" to "wish you well x. " Ive totally screwed up sending that text, I had such NC momentum going waiting for the next form of communication from him, darn it! thanks Dylan for your comments, I'll put away my texting fingers for the rest of the evening! Link to comment
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