Why is it so frustrating sometimes

[Sean1740]

Hey guys,

 

I have been friends with this girl since December. We hanged out maybe once a week and talk 2-3 times a week sometimes less.. We haven't really seen each other in a month.. I guess she was texting me but I never got any of her texts. So she emails me on facebook asking if I was mad at her, why I was ignoring her texts and I should contact her back if I am not mad and she hope I am not...

 

The other day I text her saying not sure what your schedule is like this week, but if you have one night free before your birthday which is Saturday, I would like to cook your dinner one night if you have one free.. She replied" Sorry I don't have a night free this week, maybe sunday" Anyways I said no worries sunday didn't work for me. So I said shoot me a msg monday maybe next week then..

 

So this morning I check facebook and she posts a picture of some flowers a guy brought her, with his name on the post. and it's not like a cousin... Not sure what to do, I am upset. It's like why did you want me to contact you before and are you just playing me.. Just mad because I am freaking nice guy and I don't get it sometimes.. I know for a fact she;s not great friends with this guy and he does this cheezy crap to probably get in her pants.. I wasn't planning on buying her some expensive gift and I know she doesn't even like flowers, yet like she is pretending to.. Any thoughts, just needed to vent and it's so frustrating sometimes..

[camus154]

Why do you assume this picture on FB has anything to do with you whatsoever? Maybe she liked the flowers and so she posted a picture of it?

[Sean1740]

What kind of guy sends flowers to a girl for her birthday? Usually a guy that likes the girl, least the way I see it..or Im I wrong?

[camus154]

What kind of guy sends flowers to a girl for her birthday? Usually a guy that likes the girl, least the way I see it..or Im I wrong?

 

But what does that have to do with you?

[Sean1740]

Nothing to do with me.. i just find it weird that all of a sudden she posts a photo of flowers on Facebook from this guy who comes out of no where..

Yet a day ago she was asking me why I was ignoring and she hopes I wasn't mad at her and to message her? So what Im I to her?

[adrian83]

simple bro, shes just keeping u as a backup plan.. girls love to do that, especially single ones.. i mean if u were a guy/girl and u didnt have anyone u "particularly liked" or the person u really like is in a relationship, u'll probably just hang around and keep ur options open rite?. Maybe she does have feelings for u but i guess its as simple as keeping her options open

[FlashEng1]

Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww.... Forgive my bluntness, but it needs to be said:

 

Sean, I think you're trying to associate way too much into all of this. Every angle you take, you take the extreme.

 

- All of a sudden, a FB picture of a flower means shes cheating on you/lying to you/playing games.

- All of a sudden, the guy who sent her the flowers is just a jerk trying to get in her pants.

- All of a sudden, there has to be meaning why someone would want to send someone flowers.

- All of a sudden, because she doesn't even like flowers, her posting them is just a blatant slap in your face! She totally did that to spite you

- All of a sudden, it's "all of a sudden" about what's happening on FB time-wise and what she's posting, when in reality, it was the girl's freakin birthday! If she wanted to post pictures of guys giving her happy birthday kisses, don't read into it!

 

Let's attack each angle then, and try to get you away from thinking that every action has this ultimate meaning behind it:

 

 

So she emails me on facebook asking if I was mad at her, why I was ignoring her texts and I should contact her back if I am not mad and she hope I am not...

Casual talk. Tell her you aren't, smile about it, and attempt to hang out. If nothing comes from it, then nothing comes from it. But know that "nothing coming from it" doesn't have to mean any more than that. Timing...

 

 

So this morning I check facebook and she posts a picture of some flowers a guy brought her, with his name on the post. and it's not like a cousin... Not sure what to do, I am upset.

Don't be!!! It's her BIRTHDAY WEEK! Regardless of how well you feel you know her, she's allowed to be happy someone got her something and post it on FB. Surely you have enough female friends on FB to know they love showing off the love they receive! Regardless from who. Male or Female.

 

It's like why did you want me to contact you before and are you just playing me..

She didn't play you Sean.. You played yourself unfortunately. Unless you're skipping something in the story, or her "contacting you" was her actually saying she flat out wanted you to contact her to talk about dating/being together?? ... But then again, it's hardly ever that case, so don't even walk that direction. Why did she want you to contact her? Simple:

We hanged out maybe once a week and talk 2-3 times a week sometimes less.. We haven't really seen each other in a month..

--- THATS WHY she wanted you to contact her!

 

Just mad because I am freaking nice guy and I don't get it sometimes..

Don't get what? Why you're upset because she posted a picture of flowers on her FB?? Being a nice guy has nothing to do with this situation. Take it out. You read too deeply into what was going on, and feel cheated when reality didn't play the way it did in your head. But it happens! Don't fault her for it. We all make these mistakes! Miscommunication, misunderstanding, whatever it may be. The only thing you might want to try to "get," is getting away from thinking everything has to have some purpose all the time.

 

I know for a fact she;s not great friends with this guy and he does this cheezy crap to probably get in her pants..

Evidence you're reading too much into it! Whether he was her ex husband or a friend she met on her birthday, this shouldn't even matter man.. In fact.. what DID you wind up doing for her birthday? Not planned, not wanted to do, but actually DID? Just curious

 

I wasn't planning on buying her some expensive gift and I know she doesn't even like flowers, yet like she is pretending to..

I HATE boned wings.. Actual boned wings... UGH!!! I think they're a mess, and a complete waste of time to spend all that time fighting for such a small amount of meat.. WHAT IN THE!!.. ugh......... But I promise you if a girl bought me wings right now, I would smile ear to ear, probably post it all over my wall too thanking her and tagging her, and really be happy someone thought about me or cared enough to buy me wings. Am I being fake? NO! I'm being thankful and happy! I would eat them like my last meal lol!! And if it were my birthday?? Even better!! She's allowed to like and put a picture of flowers someone got her, whether she was allergic or loathed the simple sight of them. It doesn't have to mean anything more than that. And by the way, if he liked her or not isn't your concern ;-) there may be 10 others like him that like her. You have a choice, sit back and pout over every detail not going your way while whoever else gets her, or keep in the fight and surprise her yourself! Either way, those guys aren't your problem. You're your own problem. Fix it.