Blocking on FB - does it look bad?

[xstar]

Blocking an ex on FB - does it come off as bitter? angry? resentful?

 

I'm going through my anger stage right now. Fortunately, I have enough self control to maintain NC but I do feel like lashing out at him. I avoided unfriending him b/c I didn't want to send a bad message or ruin chances of future friendship. However, now I'm really upset and feel like doing something. I write writting letters.. doesn't work

 

UPDATE: I just saw that he deleted my photos from FB. OMG, I"m so heartbroken.

[Love1336]

Ugh... who cares what he thinks?

You two are broken up.

My ex ex deleted me off fb, after we was broken up.

A year and some change later, we're friends.

You don't come out bitter, or angry looking. You want space. You was to not be angry anymore.

Deleted & Block. He doesn't need to be on your mind.

[HeartGoesOn]

My take on that is, it shows that you have enough self respect to be looking out for # 1. It's your business, and it doesn't matter what other's think.

[xstar]

He's gone now. But I can't believe that he deleted my pictures. I don't understand why he's angry at me. He broke up with me so that he can focus on his life. I let him go. Barely any complaints. No complications. No anger. And now.. why would he delete me?

[RitaTrue]

Both Love and Heart have spoken wisdom here

 

It hurts some to block and delete. But it's NEEDED. It's protecting you from YOURSELF at this point.

 

Don't worry about his feelings for now. When you're both healed, if there was anything worth keeping in friendship, it'll resurface when you're both ready.

[blueidealist24]

If you're looking at his facebook so often and getting upset that he deleted your photos and stuff, you should at least unfriend him if he has one of those profiles that is friends only. I unfriended a guy that things ended badly with once and he retaliated by blocking me, but it was best I didn't have contact with him anyway so I'm kind of glad that happened in the end. You can always unblock or refriend him if things become better between you two and you won't be tempted to look while things are still bad!

[soybeans]

He's gone now. But I can't believe that he deleted my pictures. I don't understand why he's angry at me. He broke up with me so that he can focus on his life. I let him go. Barely any complaints. No complications. No anger. And now.. why would he delete me?

 

Same thing with my ex. He went as far as to delete comments I left on his wall as well as our pictures...except for one, and left a bunch of them tagged still. He un-friended me first, too.

 

I don't think it meant he was mad at me or anything because he had absolutely no reason to be. He just wanted to move on from that part of his life and didn't want reminders of me around. Yeah, it hurts like hell. But I think its just the way it had to be.

 

It can be so damaging to read into FB stuff. Thats exactly why you delete and block. It will drive you crazy analyzing every word of every post he writes.

 

Do it for yourself.

[xstar]

^ I know. but it certainly doesn't feel that way.

[Sammy6]

 

It can be so damaging to read into FB stuff. Thats exactly why you delete and block. It will drive you crazy analyzing every word of every post he writes.

 

Do it for yourself.

 

I 100% agree with soybeans. My ex used FB as a tool to be vindictive and hurtful less than 5 minutes of me telling her to have a great life by posting pictures and status updates of her wonderful weekend with a new guy.

 

I blocked her and haven't thought about unblocking her because I know what I see will hurt me.

 

It might be best to at least delete your ex or just block him incase you have mutual friends..

[xstar]

I've blocked all of our mutual friends (they were all his friends anyway).

I guess I'm just shocked that he did that. Its like he's erased everything of me so quickly. I always figured he's breaking up with me b/c he needs space. But now he's so eager to get rid of everything to do with me I feel like he hates me

[drmcsugar]

My ex cares for me and doesn't want to hurt me, although he was the one to break it off. He's seeing some girl now, and he doesn't post about her or change his relationship status on Facebook. He keeps all the pictures with me, same as all his exes. That's the part that's ANNOYING me. I don't know how exactly he feels towards me. I'd rather him to have a distinctive emotion like hatred, so I can move on from that, rather than nothing.

 

His phone automatically uploads the pics he takes on his Google+ and I came to find out he's happily seeing someone through pics of her "platonically" being uploaded, although he hasn't made it official on Facebook yet. I have a feeling he will soon when the time is right or when I have prompted that I've moved on, too (which is far from now), so I won't be impacted by it. I know he cares for me that much. So I've been contemplating about deleting him off Facebook, because I don't think I can bear seeing that relationship status changes. Yet, I don't want to come accross as being bitter/angry, I still want him to know that the door is open. Also, we have some mutual friends and his family members, I can't justify deleting them as well; they have been very nice to me even after the break-up. I don't check on him anymore, unsubscribe his updates, too, but I am very anxious that someday, I'll wake up and his name appears on the sidebar of my Facebook next to the picture of him and his new girlfriend, I think I'll hurl. Such catch 22.

[irican]

its best to block him. my ex didnt block me, i keep blocking then unblocking her. i message her but she ignores me. she doesnt block me cuz she knows ignoring me hurts.

[soybeans]

I've blocked all of our mutual friends (they were all his friends anyway).

I guess I'm just shocked that he did that. Its like he's erased everything of me so quickly. I always figured he's breaking up with me b/c he needs space. But now he's so eager to get rid of everything to do with me I feel like he hates me

 

I felt the same way. I couldn't understand why he was erasing me, as if I was such a horrible person? He was quick to get rid of everything too and it didn't make sense to me so I come up with ridiculous reasons. It doesn't matter in the end, we'll never know why.

 

If you want to look at it this way- maybe it was just his way of coping. For us, its like we are slowly peeling off a band-aid, whereas they decide to rip it off in one shot, feel the pain momentarily then move right along.

 

Crappy example, I know...but possible explanation.

[BlueEagle]

Same thing with my ex. He went as far as to delete comments I left on his wall as well as our pictures...except for one, and left a bunch of them tagged still. He un-friended me first, too.

 

I don't think it meant he was mad at me or anything because he had absolutely no reason to be. He just wanted to move on from that part of his life and didn't want reminders of me around. Yeah, it hurts like hell. But I think its just the way it had to be.

 

It can be so damaging to read into FB stuff. Thats exactly why you delete and block. It will drive you crazy analyzing every word of every post he writes.

 

Do it for yourself.

 

Same here. Following my breakup, we were still on each other's friends' list but she had deleted all pictures of me and us off her wall, untagged herself from all pictures from my wall, and deleted all her comments on my wall. Of course once she broke up with me I immediately changed my profile picture so she wasn't in it anymore and she shortly did the same. It hurt a lot to see everything about us just scrubbed clean, but in my case I believe she went back to her ex and couldn't bear to have anything linking her with me when she's with somebody else. It didn't take long after rebuffing me for a reconciliation for me to just delete her. I agree that the OP needs to not look at his profile whether it means blocking him or just not consciously looking through self-control. It will push you back ten steps when you need to be moving forward.

[xstar]

^ Blueeagle, I find it funny when so many people claim that reconciliation isn't possible, and yet so many people have stories of their SO's going to their ex's. So maybe its more possible than we think.

 

However, I do not want to get back with this beast after he put me through this Sucky Horrible Irritable Thing.

[alexia29]

Sucky Horrible Irritable Thing.

 

^^ I lol-ed.

[BlueEagle]

^ Blueeagle, I find it funny when so many people claim that reconciliation isn't possible, and yet so many people have stories of their SO's going to their ex's. So maybe its more possible than we think.

 

I posit that they go back to their exes is because they are horribly insecure and afraid of being alone after a breakup, or were never entirely over them in the first place. Mine kept going on and on about how horrible her ex was and I soon began feeling like something wasn't right. After our breakup she not only went back to this same abusive ex who caused and was causing so many problems, but also married him three months later. That's just bizarre.

[xstar]

I posit that they go back to their exes is because they are horribly insecure and afraid of being alone after a breakup, or were never entirely over them in the first place. Mine kept going on and on about how horrible her ex was and I soon began feeling like something wasn't right. After our breakup she not only went back to this same abusive ex who caused and was causing so many problems, but also married him three months later. That's just bizarre.

 

Sorry to hear that. I've realized that any time there are funny ex issues going on, its a sign to be careful - whether its them really hating their ex, being too friendly with the ex, or just focusing on those in general.

[BlueEagle]

Sorry to hear that. I've realized that any time there are funny ex issues going on, its a sign to be careful - whether its them really hating their ex, being too friendly with the ex, or just focusing on those in general.

 

Or them trying to make you jealous by constantly talking about it with you. It could be a way of swaying back to their ex when communication is poor or nonexistent. Either way, I agree with you that it's something to be careful about and to listen to your gut if something doesn't feel right.

[alexia29]

Or them trying to make you jealous by constantly talking about it with you. It could be a way of swaying back to their ex when communication is poor or nonexistent. Either way, I agree with you that it's something to be careful about and to listen to your gut if something doesn't feel right.

 

To add to this, another thing to pay attention to is HOW they talk about their exes. If there is a large number of exes that they describe as being "crazy" it's a sign of trouble...won't be long before you get called that very same adjective.

[BlueEagle]

To add to this, another thing to pay attention to is HOW they talk about their exes. If there is a large number of exes that they describe as being "crazy" it's a sign of trouble...won't be long before you get called that very same adjective.

 

Or if there is a history of restraining orders being issued (whether on your ex or on her/his past ex(es)). That could definitely allude to some underlying anger/control/abuse issues and emotional instability. In short, when something doesn't feel right, go with your instincts. In the end though, deleting them or blocking them from FB is the best course of action so you are not wrapped around their finger.

[Live-N-Learn]

You should consider just deactivating your fb account for awhile. Just disappear then you don't need to worry about blocking him and what he will think.

[Alpine]

I don't think blocking certain people from Facebook looks bad. To me, it's more that you're saying to them and to yourself "We are over. You're out of my life now. I don't require you to see what I post on here and I don't need to see what you post. Goodbye."

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with blocking people, you shouldn't feel obliged to keep them on your social networking site just because of how you want to 'look.'

[notimeman]

My ex and I had a fight on the phone, the next morning she changed her relationship status to single on FB. I guess that's how she broke up with me. I waited a week after not speaking (we met up the day she dumped me to give back stuff), and then sent her a text asking if she'd like to get some hot chocolate to talk. She didn't respond and instead responded to the guy I had accused her of cheating on me with over some stupid video on FB (I later found out that she actually did cheat on me with him). The night I saw that, I untagged myself from all the photos on her FB, deleted all of ours in my FB, deleted all our mutual friends and finally deleted her. I did not block. I didn't do all these things because I hated her or even because I wanted her to not speak to me again. I did it because if just seeing her comment on a video hurt me that much, anything I heard about her would. I did it all to move on and that is likely why anyone would do the same. I'd be more worried about someone that kept the photos and didn't care to have them around.

[markie6]

 

 

my views summed up right there ...