What to do with my engagement ring?

[thousandyear]

My girlfriend had the engagement ring made into a necklace...

 

Hahaha... that's what a couple of mutual friends recommended too

[thousandyear]

I agree with giving the ring back to him. If he refuses it or tells you he rather have you keep it, it is free to do as you wish. The engagement was broken. It doesn't matter who ended it. The engagement is off. If you had married, it would be yours to keep.

 

I don't think he would refuse anything I give to him or back to him. Over the past year of breadcrumbs/false hope/"trying to work things out", he has accept gifts that I bought for him or his parents for holiday/birthday or all food that I made for him, the only thing was that he said his parents refused to see me so he took the gifts on their behalf. Perhaps he feels rude not to accept. Regardless, I have no intention of keeping the ring for its monetary value... I guess initially when I was debating, I was just thinking from a memory perspective and I think I was still "fooling" myself when I though well perhaps I can keep it safely underneath many items and look at it in the future as a reminder of the good times... I don't really need any reminders, as he ultimately chose to not keep the most important promise he made me and left.

 

Thanks for your suggestions!

[thousandyear]

Yes he did!

 

That's such a sweet story!! Sounds like movie material. I'm so happy for you!

[thousandyear]

Sorry to hear about what happened to you! I know your pain exactly! Sounds like you really love him and wanted everything to work out despite all his issues. Unfortunately it took me 1 year to accept this, he is the only one who can fix his own issues or choose not to. We cannot expect him to or try to help him if he does not want to. So in both of our cases, we have to accept that our ex chose to not see their own issues and decided to leave us.

 

I agree with your perspective that the ring was a gift to us when our ex proposed, and generally when one gives out a gift, one does not ask for it back. Especially given that they broke the most important promise that they can make, if they did not ask for it back you can do whatever you want with it. In my case, I think what I want to do with it is to return it to him... keeping it would mean another reminder of the past.

 

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat. I am where I am today because of all the mistakes I have made, but I am stronger than ever before. I feel that despite this this major "failure" in my life, I have learned so much that I will be much more well equipped mentally and emotionally to handle future failures/struggles... of course I don't wish for more, but that's life, they will happen. Stay strong! Hugs!

[SarahRose]

give it back

send it registered insured post

[Fudgie]

I am not big on giving back gifts at the end of a relationship (it's painful and different people may want to do different things) BUT engagement rings are different. They are conditional gifts given to a woman provided that she accepts the proposal. Unless a guy really SCREWED me on money and I needed to pawn the ring to get back what he stole from me, I think it is best to return the ring when the engagement is over. Send it via insured mail so you don't ever have to have contact with him again.

[Batya33]

I am not big on giving back gifts at the end of a relationship (it's painful and different people may want to do different things) BUT engagement rings are different. They are conditional gifts given to a woman provided that she accepts the proposal. Unless a guy really SCREWED me on money and I needed to pawn the ring to get back what he stole from me, I think it is best to return the ring when the engagement is over. Send it via insured mail so you don't ever have to have contact with him again.

 

I would think about keeping it only if the guy had broken the engagement, especially for bad reasons, or if he owed me money he refused to repay (in a similar amount). I would probably give the money to charity.