feel like such a FOOL

[Lucy3]

Hey guys, any thoughts would be great on this, feeling quite low at the moment

 

..... I met a guy online a few months ago and we saw each other for about 2 months but i always got a vibe that he couldnt be that bothered. He was quite a lazy person generally and never really went out. He would always tell me that he liked me and 'adored me' etc but his actions never matched up to his words. Things started to fizzle and we kind of lost contact because i got fed up of always feeling like i was always the only one making the effort. *

 

Then a while ago i started dating someone else, during this time he got back in touch and said he had been thinking about me and he felt it was a shame we lost touch before etc and would love to 'try and make it happen' again. I told him i was seeing someone else and he seemed disappointed and said that if it didnt work out to get in touch lol. * So things with the other guy didnt work out. I got back in touch with the first guy and thought about trying again with him, he seemed happy and even said how he 'really likes me' and wants to 'start again' with me (i shouldnt have believed this crap because he said stuff like this the first time around but never really showed me that he liked me) so anyway, we have been texting a bit and met last sunday. I was quite nervous as it had been months since i last saw him. I made myself look nice and thought it went well, no awkward silences and we caught up on stuff that had happened since we last saw each other. When he dropped me home he even said that we should meet up again and we agreed on friday night (last night) *

 

After sunday when we met i didnt hear anything from him, i texted 2 days later just asking how he was and how his day had been and NOTHING... Not heard a thing from him!! Its been a week since we met on that sunday! So obviously i didnt see him last night as we had planned because i have not heard a thing from him. I just feel like such a fool, he was telling me how he really liked me and wanted to start again and even suggested meetin up again etc WHY has he suddenly disappeared?! Is it games? Did he change his mind after he saw me on sunday?? But then why suggest we meet again? And we had quite a passionate kiss on that sunday. Argh i just dont get whats happened?!

 

Hes 33 and im 26.

[nutbrownhare]

You can speculate, but that's all it would be. As well as your thoughts, he may well be keeping more than one woman on the go at once.

 

What you don't need to speculate about, and you've seen his actions on this one, is that he's lazy, unmotivated to work on the relationship and hasn't responded to you this week. That's all you need to know.

 

Don't beat yourself up for feeling like a fool. With the sort of guy you'd want to get involved with, you'd have been out having a wonderful time last night; you gave him a chance, and HE blew it. Forget him, don't waste an ounce more of energy on him, and move on!

[Mashed Potato]

Don't beat yourself up about this.

 

Ok, so he was no good the first time around, and on whim you felt you would give him and you the opportunity to try it again.

 

You tried it again, and rather than a fresh vibrant and good outcome it seems to have been very similar to the first experience.

Uh, ok just realised I am basically writing the same as nutbrownhare.

 

I agree totally.

 

MP

[Batya33]

No worries that you gave it another chance. You dodged a bullet - if he truly made specific plans with you for Friday night and didn't keep them or get in touch then he acted like a jerk. If the plans were tentative only maybe there was a miscommunication.

[Stay_home]

The guy is a natural flake. Leave him alone.

[sunnyclouds]

No reason to feel like a fool. Sometimes these things just happen and you may never get the answer. And do you want it anyway? It probably won't make you feel better.

 

I have met several men online and it was going great in chats and in person they were nice and sweet. Said the right things. Often times we agree to pay for our own dinner or movie and every single time they insist on paying for me. I get a nice smile and hug by with a "I had a great time" never to be heard from again. Sometimes that is just how dating goes. You have to go through several dates before you find that special person.

 

So get back out there and forget about this guy. It doesn't sound like you were really into him anyway.

[Lucy3]

Thanks for you replies. I guess deep down my gut was telling me that he is a flake and it probably wouldnt have worked the second time around but it still just bothers me how someone can say so much to you when its all just rubbish!! Why bother sayin it if its not true?? I seriously just dont get it. But its not jus with this guy its happened but with every guy i have dated. They talk so much crap, i have lost all faith and trust in men.

[Ms Darcy]

Think of it this way. Plenty of folks have great relationships with trustworthy guys. How do they get there? Recognizing that some guys are going to be jerks and others will be great. Cut off the jerks as you wait to meet the great ones. I wish you luck.

[sunnyclouds]

Thanks for you replies. I guess deep down my gut was telling me that he is a flake and it probably wouldnt have worked the second time around but it still just bothers me how someone can say so much to you when its all just rubbish!! Why bother sayin it if its not true?? I seriously just dont get it. But its not jus with this guy its happened but with every guy i have dated. They talk so much crap, i have lost all faith and trust in men.

 

I know what you mean. But we will probably never find out those answers. Don't lose faith, get back out there and you will find that one good guy. I am still looking and it can be frustrating. I had one guy that wanted to go out this weekend but I just wanted a break from it and time for myself to think and relax. Sometimes that is needed.

[Lucy3]

I know what you mean. But we will probably never find out those answers. Don't lose faith, get back out there and you will find that one good guy. I am still looking and it can be frustrating. I had one guy that wanted to go out this weekend but I just wanted a break from it and time for myself to think and relax. Sometimes that is needed.

 

Yes definitely, the same happened to me, i went back to my online profile and a guy wanted to meet up this coming week but ive decided i just need to be on my own, ive literally had that many disasters in the last year that its laughable. All my friends have even said they are shocked at my ridiculous poor luck! Definitely single time for me.

[laura40]

Lucy, I was in a kinda similar situation in recent times (met a guy, had a great date then never heard from him again) I ended up just deleting his number and not bothering to get in contact as I didn't want to be involved with someone who couldn't be bothered with me. His silence was my answer, and it's yours too. I'm sorry things didn't work out but at least you found out now rather than a few dates down the line.