How many of you think the right person got away?

[Openminded]

Questino #1. How many of you have lost someone that you thought was the one. By the way, you still have to feel this way even today.

Question #2 How long were you dating for?

Question #4 When did you start dating

Question #3 Did you break up with them or did they break up with you?

Question #5 Whos fault was it? (majority)

Im really interested to hear about people who hvae been married, or are married who feel that they may have let the right person get away.

[hockeyboy]

the right person can't get away...its contradicts itself. the right person will never leave, thats part of makes them right.

[Clarabelle]

I broke up with my husband recently, but lately I've been remembering my first love. This man was the man of my life, but we were very young. We dated for three years in college and then drifted apart. We had a strong bond and gave eachother a lot of inspiration. I really miss him and will always love him, but I'm not sure if we could ever get back together again.

[Openminded]

the right person can't get away...its contradicts itself. the right person will never leave, thats part of makes them right.

 

Um, thats great in theory...but I hardly equate someone who is "right" for me to being someone who cant leave me.

Take for instance, abuse. Do you think that anyone who is "right" for you can be subjected to abuse and must stay? Your definition has merit but is clearly not correct.

Not to say that someone who is "right" for you should leave at the drop of a hat. All good couples have to be able to resolve differences. However, I think lapses in reasoning, or control can leave two perfectly compatible people with doubt and concern.

[Openminded]

Clarabelle, did the feelings come back after you separated from your husband or during the marriage?

By the way, who ended the relationship?

[hockeyboy]

dont you think that the "right one" should be someone who wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. they may not be the right one and then later become that person again. but if they dont want you i cant help but think they are not the right person for me. my definition of the right one includes a clause where that person wants to be with me. just my opinion

[Scout]

I feel we don't meet the "right" one until we ourselves are the "right" one. Which means, if we want to land a great catch, we have to be a great catch, too.

 

That being said, I dated someone for about nine months, guess this was almost ten years ago...I have never forgotten him. He was probably the best boyfriend I ever had, but I was so screwed up back then he eventually left me and I don't blame him. I've never forgotten him, and in fact, I think about him almost every day. Sucks.

[scaryperson]

I haven't lost the person that i think is the one for me, well, i have but i haven't, we'restill good friends, we have great chemistry together (i think anyway), but it just could never work out in the end, lacked experience in that field

we only dated (if you can call it that) for 3 months

Started seeing in other as more than friends 2 years ago this december

He sorta broke up with me, it was slightly mutual

[kantore]

hey there this is a great topic.

Questino #1. yes I still have feelings for her to this day

Question #2 almost 4 years

Question #4 freshman year of college

Question #3 I broke up with her.

Question #5 Just bad timing, we were at different places in our lives but would love another chance.

[ForAnother]

Nope. But the girl i was with was amazing, wish I could have her, just not yet... give it time.

 

ForAnother

[Fistandantilus]

Question 1: Yes, I still feel this way to this day.

 

Question 2: Dated for about 10 Months.

 

Questin 3: About 5 Years ago.

 

Question 4: I broke up with her.

 

Question 5: Situation and timing.

 

So now for the story.

It was about 7 years ago and she started working at the place that I work. the first time I walked in I knew that I was in love with her, yes it is cheesy but love at first sight does happen just rarely, only problem was I had a girlfriend.Well all that summer we flirted alot.I then later found out that she told people that she had the hots for me.

I decided that summer to move away with my girlfriend for the winter.So the last night I was in town she came to the bar and saw me. She pulled me outside,away from everyone else, and told me that she really liked me and didn't want me to leave. I ended up spending the night with her, we didn't have sex, just slept together. The next day, before I left, I told her I had to go even though she insisted in me staying.

So here I am on my way to the airport, 5 hour drive, and as soon as I get into the City I decide to cancel my plane. Then about 20 minutes later try to get it back,too late though. I call this girl and tell her I cancelled my plane and was coming back, she was surprised.I asked her "So what now"? She told me "I don't know". I then call my girlfriend and tell her everything but that I still wanted to come and make things work. She was upset but agreed. I end up going back home.

During that week that I was home we talked and she told me "I can risk a 10 month relationship on someone that I really don't know that well".She told me to go to my girlfriend. Well of course I was hurt but decided if we were meant to be together it will happen.She also told me that she was moving back home with her boyfriend.

There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about her.Skip ahead to about 5 months later. Decided to come back home and my girlfriend would follow after she was finished school.

Skip ahead another few months. this girl decided to come back to where I am and got her old job back.I had no clue she was coming back.I was working one day and she walked through the door. I was surprised and said "What are you doing here"? She told me that she came back for work and that she was also pregnant. It felt like someone ripped out my heart through my throat and stomped on it till it was mush. I though for sure that we would never get toghther.

So skip ahead a few months after the baby was born. We started flirting again and she constantly kept telling me how unhappy she was with her boyfriemnd.I ended up finding out that while she was away that her boyfriend cheated on her. I eventually told her about a month later and her and this girl confronted her boyfriend. A couple of months after these we started seeing each other and eventually moved in, her ex didn't know this at all.

Now it's near the end of summer and her mom comes up for a visit and all heck breaks loose. I end up moving out and her mother has forbid her to see me. Her mother leaves and we mess around. 2 Weeks before she leaves to go back home she tells me that her and her boyfriend are back together. The only reason was because of her mother saying "You've got to make it work for the baby's sake". The day before she left we end up promising each other that no matter what happens we would be together one day. Well it's been 5 years now and from what I heard, her boyfriend left after 6 months and came back here, after her boyfriend left she got pregnant again by someone else and he also left her.

I still think of her alot but hear that she says "She hates me and I treated her poorly". Which is by far not the truth. I think that it was just bad timing on both of our parts. We said alot of things. I cared about her from day on, loved her for 3 years, got my chance and due to crappy timing it didn't work out.

I still think about her, what she's doing, how she is but am scared to ever call. She broke my heart twice and that was two to many times for me to handle. I will always love her no matter what and will till the day I die. I just wish sircumstances were different because I know that we both cared about each other alot, for 3 years straight, but she was tied up and scared to just give it a chance. If she had she would have lost all of her family, which is something she couldn't have handled. I understand that now. I know that if she walked up to me tomorrow and wanted me back I would go no matter what.

[guy40az]

I know the right one for me got away

We dated for a little over a year

We started dating in July of 92

She broke up with me

She moved to Texas to be with her family

 

she had been gone 6 months and then she came back for me and I was dating someone else when she came back to continue our relationship but I was seeing someone else that I thought was the right one It totally broke her heart and I know I made the wrong decision. She was the right one for me I just made the wrong choice

[tiffany82]

the right person can't get away...its contradicts itself. the right person will never leave, thats part of makes them right.

 

I agree with hock, the right person can't get away

[ddp0109]

the right person can't get away...its contradicts itself. the right person will never leave, thats part of makes them right.

 

I agree with hock, the right person can't get away

 

i too agree with hock...if the right person is there..he/she wont want to leave..if there is abuse or any type of issues that may hurt the relationship...then the person isnt right for you..

 

i thought i was with the right person..loved her more than anything..moved to a different country by myself to be with her..and she gave up on me a month after i was down here...do i feel that she was the right person? Yes, up to a certain point of this relationship. and how did i know that she wasnt? the way the break up took place...it was very rough and not nearly as gentle as i thought it would be..and to top it all off..she got with someone else within the month she broke up with me...my ex gave up on me...thereforeeee she isnt the right one for me. Period.

 

one thing i worry about is if i can give my heart away like i did..because i would have never thought i would be soo hurt you know? how many of you guys feel that way?

 

ps. make sure the both of you are in love with eachother..not just one person is in love..and the next just loves you period...two different things that ive learnt after my experience: To love someone and to BE in love with someone

[light bulb]

For a while I thought my ex was the right person for me. Now I just don't know. She brought out the best in me and I brought out the best in her. The physical attraction was strong as was the chemistry. Unfortunately, we also brought out the worst in each other. I think with effort, our relationship could have lasted a lifetime, but since she didn't want to put forth that effort, I'll never know. I guess that means she wasn't the right one then afterall.

[ComputerGuy]

the right person can't get away...its contradicts itself. the right person will never leave, thats part of makes them right.

 

This is what I remind myself when I think about the girl who I truly believe was the perfect girl for me. I agree that if she didn't stay, than your fate doesn't lie with her, hence she is not ur perfect girl....as much as I think otherwise. I lean more towards the fact that there is more than one person for everyone, as otherwise people who are widowed would never get another chance, as an example.

 

The girl I think I let get away, I never got a chance to go out with, I was too shy and scared to take the chance, and have since found out that she was waiting for me to do something, but got tired of waiting for me. She was EVERYTHING I ever looked for in a girl. Even if I take the feelings away and approach it logically, viewing what attributes that she had that I found desirable/undesirable, I can honestly say she had every attribute I considered important and none of the ones I found undesirable. In mny mind, both emotionally and logically, she seemed the perfect girl for me, and to this day I wish I could get a second chance with her, but I have accepted it won't happen and, as I said before, remind myself that if fate intended us to be together, than we would be.

[StrawTink]

ok i was with him for over a year i've known him since i was 16 we were always friends. he wanted to date me i gave it a chance. now 2 months after the break up he is telling me we will never get back together because we didnt get along. DIDNT GET ALONG? is he serious? how did we not get along? yes in the last few months we fought. but, it was over the stupidest stuff. things where he would get mad and im going WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING ABOUT? i dont think i will ever get over him. i do believe he is the right one for me. i just think he needs to figure out how to be towards me. which honestly he wont because he's got way too much pride. the bad part is that im 3 weeks late on myp eriod i have taken one test and it said i was not. My fear is that i am and i wont abort. Long story behind that. i dont know how i can deal with him dating other females while i might be carrying his child. will he grow up? probably not. why would he? he has no reason to. do i want to be with him? yes with every bit of my self. does it hurt? yes it hurts so much i try not to think about it. i just want a second chance to make things right. why are people so quick to call it quits? i guess its easier than holding onto a great thing.

[idontgetit]

i disagree about the right person not leaving. sometimes it is the right person, but other things get in the way.

 

Questino #1. How many of you have lost someone that you thought was the one. By the way, you still have to feel this way even today.

yes

 

Question #2 How long were you dating for? 9 years

Question #4 When did you start dating senior yr of high school

Question #3 Did you break up with them or did they break up with you? he did

 

Question #5 Whos fault was it? (majority) [i]his. [/i]

[Vert]

Questino #1. How many of you have lost someone that you thought was the one. By the way, you still have to feel this way even today.

Question #2 How long were you dating for?

Question #4 When did you start dating

Question #3 Did you break up with them or did they break up with you?

Question #5 Whos fault was it? (majority)

Im really interested to hear about people who hvae been married, or are married who feel that they may have let the right person get away.

 

1) At this point, I believe she wasn't the right one. She said she "didn't see a future with me" when she broke up with me, but at the time I didn't understand (the dumpee always gets blindsided while the dumper has prepared for it).

 

2) 2 years exactly

 

3) We started dating one night after we'd been hanging out a lot watching movies, going to the mall, etc. She just leaned over and kissed me in the middle of the movie and that was that.

 

4) She broke up with me 2 months ago. Apparently she'd had these feelings for "over a year" and chose not to tell me about it.

 

5) Not my fault, and I still believe that. She was immature and had issues with being with someone in marriage "at her age" (she's 22). She believes she isn't ready and is committment phobic, basically (not just with dating but with many other things in her life).

 

I agree with idontgetit though. I still think she and I were perfect together if she were just more mature about things. She said it was nothing I did to make her leave except a "gut feeling" that I wasn't supposed to be her husband or father her children. Tough words but she stuck with it, and I'm glad that she did. I honestly believe that there is someone who will love me deeper than she did. Most of the time it felt very superficial and she was doing it just because she felt she had to.

[StrawTink]

i do disagree withone thing you have to say vert . your "good guys never leave" on your signature. they do leave especially if they think the bad guy way is the thing to do. i had a good guy he left. so i have proof that they leave.

[Vert]

There are always exceptions to the rule, obviously. However, I feel like I'm a generally nice guy and I gave my ex-gf the world... she left my anyway... Good girls do it too

[ddp0109]

There are always exceptions to the rule, obviously. However, I feel like I'm a generally nice guy and I gave my ex-gf the world... she left my anyway... Good girls do it too

 

very true Vert....im in the same boat.....