How do I take away this pain?

[sydneygirl87]

You will see from my previous posts that my boyfriend just broke up with me a few days ago.

 

I just don't understand... He was the one that was so into it, he was the one talking about our future, he was the one telling me he loves me and everything's going to be ok. Then he just leaves. Walks out of my life like I was nothing to him. How can he not feel the pain? Doesn't he miss me?

 

I'm such a mess I haven't been at work for two days I can't eat I can't stop thinking about him. Everyone's telling me how strong I am and that I can get thru this but I'm hurting so much. I don't recognize strong right now. Friends give me advice but nothing makes me feel better, he was my bestfriend, he was the one that would make me feel better. I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel but right now I'm surrounded by darkness. It hurts so much.

[EmmaB78]

I'm sorry you're feeling bad, syndey! Did he give you a reason for the break up? How long were you guys together?

[alexia29]

I am so sorry to hear it. You remind me so much of myself when my breakup first happened.

But it's only been a few days since the break up. You won't believe me right now, but things will get much much better with time. Stay strong, and whatever you do don't contact him.

[sydneygirl87]

He just said that he can't be in a relationship and because we had a few little fights (totally normal nothing major) he thinks things won't be the same again, yet didn't even try to fix things. We were together for one year.

[potty46]

That reason sucks and I was fed that reason two months ago. I'm still in darkness and have only just started to eat properly after 8 weeks. I lost 10kg in the space of 5 weeks. I do say give it time and try to avoid the desperate, clingy methods. I read and read what I should and shouldn't do, and I felt I had to do something. I am only just realising NOW that doing nothing is doing everything. You will do what you need and what you see fit. It's your journey! I say follow your instincts because they're generally right!

 

Part of me does think reading some threads set me back, because I'm finding myself dwelling on what I did post BU and how I could have done it differently. I'd love to have my time again, and I'd love to say that it does get easier... I guess it has, but the ache is still there. Acceptance will come with time... I'm still pondering what acceptance even means and I linger between sadness and anger... Time and patience. It's so easy to say. I can't even grip it myself.

 

It sucks not having a plausible... Well, tangible reason. In their mind it's what's best and I learned the hard way that still loving someone isn't enough if that person doesn't want to try to "fix" things... even when they know themselves where the problems lies/how it can be solved.

 

Best of luck!