D123R Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Has anyone ever had really blah, boring, un-clicking first time sex with someone, and continued to have sex with them and it got better? I mean continued as in over the course of a relationship, not one night... I had bad sex with someone, and i was so disappointed because i really liked them. I want to do it again, just to see if it was just a one time thing, or if chemistry is chemistry no matter what? It was so awkward we both decided we should be friends...but i wanna try again. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Sometimes the first time you have sex with someone, it's as bad as hell. Sometimes it gets better, other times it doesn't. But it can suck because there is a lot of pressure the first time! You're with someone new, with a new body you don't know much about, etc. Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Lol almost every couple will tell you the first time does not even come close to comparing to having sex after a few months of getting to know each other under their belts. You just need time to get to a certain level of absolute comfort and knowledge of your partner's body. But I wont lie there are people out their who just have a gift for sex lol. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 That's like saying you make the worst cupcake in the world, that you will never make a good cupcake ever in a life time. That's like saying when a sport team lost one game, they will lose EVERY SINGLE GAME and not win ONCE. ;] I think you get my drift. It takes practice. That's all. Practice and failures will make you success. The question is, are you going to enjoy what you do or are you going to limit yourself? Link to comment
D123R Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 Yea...i mean ive had great sexual relationships, and there are those "eh" moments sometimes. But this kid lost his boner. Link to comment
D123R Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 Its a close analogy with the cupcakes haha, but i think sex is a bit different from the step by step process of baking lol. I mean, theres chemistry between people, you know? Sometimes you just click with someone, and ive had that. But I've never experiences BAD sex with someone and am afraid it was the chemistry, and dont know if that can change i guess is what i was saying. Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Yea...i mean ive had great sexual relationships, and there are those "eh" moments sometimes. But this kid lost his boner. Lol if girls stopped having sex with guys that this happened to the human population would cease to exist. It's probably just his nerves. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Two different problems. Lack of intimacy, no passion type of bad sex = Probably not going to change. Physical act of sex = Practice makes perfect. Link to comment
soybeans Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 For me personally it would set the tone for the rest of the relationship in a way. I've had good first time sex, then as time went on it became pretty phenomenal. Then the first time just seemed mediocre in comparison. I've also had bad first time sex and it was usually because I wasn't ready or felt pressure. This is why it's best to wait it out if you feel the chemistry. If anything it will build with time. Also, did you just dive right in to the sex or have you fooled around previously? Sometimes just going right for it from nothing is a bit much. Exploring one another's bodies slowly can make it much more worth it. Link to comment
D123R Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 For me personally it would set the tone for the rest of the relationship in a way. I've had good first time sex, then as time went on it became pretty phenomenal. Then the first time just seemed mediocre in comparison. I've also had bad first time sex and it was usually because I wasn't ready or felt pressure. This is why it's best to wait it out if you feel the chemistry. If anything it will build with time. Also, did you just dive right in to the sex or have you fooled around previously? Sometimes just going right for it from nothing is a bit much. Exploring one another's bodies slowly can make it much more worth it. We didn't even really fool around, besides making out. i got impatient...so yea, it was kinda spontaneous. Link to comment
Leya Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Two different problems. Lack of intimacy, no passion type of bad sex = Probably not going to change. Physical act of sex = Practice makes perfect. ^^^I do believe in this in general. Usually bad sex the first time is about the physical aspect. (And I never judge a guy who can't perform fully the first time!! Too much pressure for him!) But if the physical stuff is working but the passion isn't there, that could be a problem. However, (to give you some hope) an old boyfriend of mine was SO gentle with his love-making that it was really "blah" for me. But I reallly liked him so I told him I need him to be a bit more aggressive, passionate. Not so gentle, timid. And he delivered! Soon he was throwing me on the bed and pinning me down, lol. Took a bit of time and patience, however!! Link to comment
thejigsup Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 If a man's "equipment" gives him problems I think nothing of it, that kind of thing happens to guys sometimes and it's no big deal. If he doesn't know how to please me, that's something else entirely and I've never seen that get any better. If you don't enjoy sex and don't care if the man isn't skilled, then it is no biggie. If you enjoy sex and want a good partner, I would look elsewhere. Link to comment
BeatrixKiddo Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Definitely! I had the best physical chemistry with my recent ex. But the first time, it was so awkward. He even ended up saying, "This isn't right" as in things weren't clicking how he pictured they would. Anyway, it took several more times over the span of a couple weeks for things to pick up and just, wow. I'm not sure why it was so awkward at first but it got 5000000% better. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Definitely! I had the best physical chemistry with my recent ex. But the first time, it was so awkward. He even ended up saying, "This isn't right" as in things weren't clicking how he pictured they would. Anyway, it took several more times over the span of a couple weeks for things to pick up and just, wow. I'm not sure why it was so awkward at first but it got 5000000% better. Yay I still have hope! Link to comment
doyathink Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 The only thing that will kill it instantly for me is, when he asks me if he can do something. Id rather they try to do what they like, and if I dont like it, ill say something lol. But if they feel the need to ask, theyre just not the man for me. It doesnt show confidence. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Yea...i mean ive had great sexual relationships, and there are those "eh" moments sometimes. But this kid lost his boner. So? I presume he'll find it again, eventually... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Don;t worry op ..first time can be hell .... apart from my ex , I usually have to take most men by the hand and show them how to walk round the garden ...! Link to comment
luvsomeone333 Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 lol..hmm yea you get some good one and you get some bad ones, i think there is a lot of pressure of being the first time doing it. However passion is what made sex the best for me and also the skills. So if you like her than im sure you can wait and if ur in it for sex then better find a new partner if the chemistry isnt there! Link to comment
D123R Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 So? I presume he'll find it again, eventually... I have no problem if a guy can't get it up. I mean i understand it happens sometimes. I just got worried that it was me, because we werent clicking and then he couldnt get it up. I said it was fine, and he apologized. So thats not the problem, its just that i am wondering if it could get better. But, he is seeing someone else now so i can't go sleep with him right now...but i want to eventually. i just want to right now but i shouldnt say anything since he isn't available. Link to comment
regular joe Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Has anyone ever had really blah, boring, un-clicking first time sex with someone, and continued to have sex with them and it got better? I mean continued as in over the course of a relationship, not one night... I had bad sex with someone, and i was so disappointed because i really liked them. I want to do it again, just to see if it was just a one time thing, or if chemistry is chemistry no matter what? It was so awkward we both decided we should be friends...but i wanna try again. I have had OK sex that got better. The chemistry/feelings were there. In these cases it was about making some adjustments to the mechanical parts to get into sync and to find that correct rhythm and then heck yes fireworks. Then I had bad sex, no chemistry/ no emotional connections and I don't care what you try it will never get better. Heck one night I had one (bad sex girl) she was riding me reverse cowgirl (getting her cookies off) and I was watching TV while she was doing it, I even changed the channel at one point. Link to comment
SarahRose Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 I have had OK sex that got better. The chemistry/feeling were there. In this case make some adjustments to the mechanical parts and heck yes fireworks. Then I had bad sex, no chemistry/ no emotional connections and I don't care what you try it will never get better. Heck one night I had one (bad sex girl) she was riding me reverse cowgirl (getting her cookies off) and and I was watching TV while she was doing it, I even changed the channel at one point. Well it does help if you participate and not just lay there. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Well it does help if you participate and not just lay there. lmao!!! it's okay, the girl probably just used him for sex anyway LOL Link to comment
regular joe Posted March 6, 2012 Share Posted March 6, 2012 Well it does help if you participate and not just lay there. She was a FWB and the benefits just sucked. I got to the point where I didn't want to have sex with her anymore and she would show up wanting to get laid. I would rather masturbate then ever have sex with her again. We just didn't connect in the bedroom. She had feeling for me and I didn't for her. Link to comment
D123R Posted March 7, 2012 Author Share Posted March 7, 2012 She was a FWB and the benefits just sucked. I got to the point where I didn't want to have sex with her anymore and she would show up wanting to get laid. I would rather masturbate then ever have sex with her again. We just didn't connect in the bedroom. She had feeling for me and I didn't for her. i feel bad for her. Link to comment
SarahRose Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 She was a FWB and the benefits just sucked. I got to the point where I didn't want to have sex with her anymore and she would show up wanting to get laid. I would rather masturbate then ever have sex with her again. We just didn't connect in the bedroom. She had feeling for me and I didn't for her. Ok, so I have to ask...why did you keep on sleeping with her? Why didn't you just tell her you met someone else or some crap. Link to comment
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