HELP PLEASE, she just contacted me.....

[FreeFallFeelin]

See how after even 50 days of NC a half hearted "hey how are you" from facebook (the devil's notebook) will send you scrambling and reading into it. This is another reason you should block or de-friend or whatever on all social media. Your ex probably just had a passing thought of you and just fired that off. She's only stuck a toe in the water so to speak, but it ripples through you deeply. She's fishing for you to spill your guts. If she really wants to reconcile, she will let you know her intent when she contacts you.

[leon1311]

Thank you for your answers. I thought about why did she contact me, I have no hopes of reonciliation, if she wanted to be with me, she would allready let me know. I just vanished from her world for 50 days. Me and her are from the same little home town and we have some mutual friends. But for the past 2 months I am spending most of my time in the city where I work and where we both go on college. I won't delete her from facebook because I can control myself, I don't look at her profile, never.

 

She doesn't know nothing about me and my "new" life. After the break up I begged her, bombed her with calls, long emotional messagges, I was boosting her ego, she had all the power. She got used to on the fact that I was always running after her like a dog. And now for 50 days I haven't send her anything, called her, asked about her, nothing. I think she is very suprised how I didn't contacted her or even asked our mutual friends about her.

 

And you know what, I replied today, I said that I was doing fine, told her that I will let her now if i would have time for a cup of coffee and i just asked her how is she doing. She answered: "Well I guess I'm ok, I don't have anything to study so I'm just relaxing this week."

 

So * * * * it, I decided to get that cup of coffee with her next week, I really don't have my hopes up, she can't hurt me as much as she did before, because I'm stronger now and I can live without her. I am just curious of what does she wants. I was thinking a lot about that coffee, should I go or not, and I decided to go because I have nothing to loose. It is a chance to show her that it is her loss, she lost a very nice person. I learned to control my emotions, learned to keep them to myself. She can't hurt me anymore, I am 90% sure and this is enough. Today I don't feel happy anymore, I feel so calm and confident. And it is a very very good feeling.

[xcrunner]

Why didn't you ask her why she wants to meet up?

 

She seems bored this week, thus the contact.

 

If the coffee is just to "catch up," I certainly WOULD NOT go. I would only have gone if she hinted at apologizing or wanting to get back together- along the lines of "well, I've been thinking about us and I wanted to speak to you face to face."

[FreeFallFeelin]

I agree with XCRUNNER, I think you gave in too easily. You're having to psych yourself up for the meeting, and she's probably just "bored" and hoping you'll show her that you still want to validate her. Her contact with you was pretty nonchalant. But if you're ready to put your sanity back on the line after going 50 days, then I wish you good luck!

[CatchersRye]

Did you get coffee yet or called out of it?

 

I agree with Xrunner and FreeFallFeelin, you should have stuck with the 50 of NC. Once you replied, it's back to 0. Good luck, cause it does seem like you want to see "if there's a chance". I hope you don't experience anymore pain.