sandrawg Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 So..quite a few people have told me, now that we're not together, that they didn't like my ex. Or they thought he was bad for me. Or, they say "you deserved better." Does this happen to you guys? How does it make you feel? I wonder if people are trying to make me feel better, but it really doesn't. I mean, I still love him even if everyone else thinks he's a douche lol Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 It's a bad idea to give this opinion because when you get back together, you now know what your friends really think and it's just all around awkward. I've had this happen and didn't take it for much. What I did pay attention to is people telling me this WHILE I was in a relationship. Link to comment
Mustachio Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Most of the time its to make you feel better. You are obviously hurt by your ex, so your friends are family are much more likely to think negatively of that person if for nothing else than the fact that they hurt you. It also depends on the situation, in my case, nobody liked my ex. And you know what, they were right, my ex sucked, it just took me a while to see through my own delusions. Link to comment
Gracelove Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Yes, this has happened to me many times. It doesn't make me feel good. It doesn't make me feel angry either. My friends are entitled to their opinions. It just makes me feel like I made a mistake. Like I chose the wrong person and wasted time and energy for nothing. The thing is that no one is perfect. I wonder if friends will be truly happy if you're with anyone. If the person does something that makes you unhappy, or if your friends don't think they are attractive...sometimes it makes you feel as if they won't feel anyone is good enough, that they won't like anyone. It's just one of those things....that you can't really change. Link to comment
Sara1970 Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 When my ex Husband and I broke up I found out that none of my family liked him, or ever had liked him. They did like my recent ex though, and I think that they still do, they just are cross with him because they saw what I went through when he broke up with me. Link to comment
MissieP Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 My friends stopped being my friends after I stood by him and put up with all his drama. They told me to leave him ages ago that he was bad news but I stood beside him and figured he would change or he isn't cheating on me I am imagining things! My friends were right of course and they are still upset with me even though he is long gone. My sister said duh Missie he was bad news why do you still even want to be his friend or keep hoping he will come back are you dense? I know my sister is right and I still do want him back ( argh) I just keep thinking he made a mistake he changed I will forgive you. My sister needs to knock more sense into me and I wish my friends would take me back but right now they are still upset with me. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Well friends don't say how they really feel about their friends partners, because they are your friends! They see who your dating and act accordingly. It's only when it's over that they express how they really feel because they care about you. Link to comment
theface71 Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 My friends give me conflicting statements and since most of my friends are mutual friends of the ex it can get confusing. On the one had they tell me the cliche that I deserve better but then they tell me all the qualities in which I fell in love with her and why they are still friends with her. They also say things like she makes a great friend but a lousy GF, she has a lot of growing up to do etc. Nothing they have said has really been helpful because of the fact they think she is still overall, a great person...which I of course still think she is...sigh...having a missing her moment... Link to comment
hodgeheg Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Friends/family haven't exactly said they didn't like him specifically but they have pointed out his bad points (of which I really should have been aware). I think they're just being supportive and it does make me feel better to think that I may get someone better in the future. I was going to write: Yeah he's a douche too but I love him. And then I actually froze still because... I don't love him anymore. Oh my god, I don't love him anymore. Link to comment
replytome Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 So..quite a few people have told me, now that we're not together, that they didn't like my ex. Or they thought he was bad for me. Or, they say "you deserved better." Does this happen to you guys? How does it make you feel? I wonder if people are trying to make me feel better, but it really doesn't. I mean, I still love him even if everyone else thinks he's a douche lol My friends and family said that they didn't like the ex at all, and that she was ugly. One friend said that when I first introduced her to them, they thought it was a practical joke that ''I'' was with ''her''... They also said it made them feel sick when I would talk about her and me having sex. It seemed like when it ended, everyone was so relieved to get everything off their chests, because I wouldn't care anymore. Especially my mother and sister, and my dad somewhat... They only got this out when they saw that it wouldn't bother me. And to be honest it made me feel much much better. It might sound wrong, but I think that when you're healing nothing but YOU matters. The only important thing is making YOURSELF feel better. Link to comment
FreeFallFeelin Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 What friends and family say about your ex and your past relationship means less than nothing. They will always side with you and say whatever they think will make you feel better. But usually what they say just makes us feel worse. They just want you to move on, to get over it, they don't understand that criticizing your ex is also like criticizing you. It's like saying "you have bad taste in partners" or "what the hell were thinking?" Link to comment
robertpaulsen Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 my last ex who i got back together with was pretty popular with my friends and i got abused for * * * * ing things up. the ex before that who i thought my friends loved revealed that she might have been the devil but were afraid to say..bit of a shock hah Link to comment
Yoruame Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I have had this happen too and while I can understand them not liking things about his behavior, it was hurtful for me to hear people joke about his appearance or say that he was ugly (my sister in particular says he's the butt-ugliest man she's ever seen). Even as mad at him as I ever got, I never said anything derogatory about his intelligence or looks; those were two of the features among many that attracted me to him in the first place. Link to comment
secondchance67 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 My friends and family grew to dislike her, and more importantly, NOT TRUST HER, after she was caught by me cheating. A girlfriend of hers, that is also a friend of mine, has been along on this journey with me over the last 6 years(we work together, she could always see it on my face when i was upset...again) even turned on my ex after the cheating...and when a girl turns on another girl, you know its serious! But in all honesty, i never cared who thought what. it was my life, my relationship - good or bad in anyone's eyes but mine didn't matter. Then she did the unspeakable, ripped out my heart for the second time in 1- 1/2 years...THEN all my friends comments started to sink in.... all i heard was : " I told ya so'" or " she is a cheater and deserves to lose you" or " dump her - she can't be trusted and will do it to you again if you take back" And ya know what? THEY WERE ALL RIGHT. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.