Input Appreciated! Especially from Men!

[StarGazer68]

I'm seeing this guy. We have only gone out a few times now in a span of 2 weeks. We really click and have a lot in common. He texts me a lot....sometimes so much that one day, we texted back and forth for 5 hours straight which I was impressed a guy would do...Although, his texts are so overly nice and excited with lots of emoticons, exclamations, and paying me lots of cheesy compliments, I can't tell if it's genuine or some act. I'm not used to it from guys. Although, he hasn't really called me...only one time but didn't leave me a message so I never rang him back and just texted.

 

And also on top of these things, he asked me on the first date if I wanted to stay at his place since I had a long ways to get home. He also invited me to his place on what was supposed to be the second date and told me he'd cook for me....I felt uncomfortable about it and started thinking he must just want to sleep with me and I'm still suspicious because of the overly nice texts and how he seems to ask me out almost every other day to do something. I declined that date saying I had some things to do. Him wanting to see me so much, complimenting me so much, and texting me so much almost makes me feel like he's on some deadline! Not sure if this is normal or not if a guy really likes you.

 

Now here's another issue of grander scale I suppose: I met him when I went to my friend's party. My girlfriend's friend was there and she invited her friend who is the guy I've now gone on a few dates with. I don't really know this girl well but I have hung out with her once or twice with my girlfriend prior to this party. That night, she told me that the guy I'm now seeing is her best friend and he just got out of dating a girl who really ***ked him over and it felt almost like some warning to me, but I couldn't be sure. He took my number that night and that's how it all began. I discovered from my girlfriend that this girl and the guy I'm dating, were friends and then had sex once and had feelings for each other but it didn't work out and they started dating other people and so now they are friends....mmmm, not my cup of tea hearing this so I am super cautious now.

 

Anyway, here's what is confusing me:

 

First date, he mentioned "her" briefly for liking something that I don't like.

Second time I saw him, he begged me to come hang out, and the "friend" was there so I had to hang out with her and another girl friend of his all night.This other girl friend of his was happy to meet me and said she had heard good things from him. He did hold my hand though and pay attention to me...The "friend" made some comment to him about how he was totally staring at some girls boobs and told him not to deny it. I ignored this convo to stay out of drama.

Third date, she was not mentioned and it was a great date lasting many hours.

Fourth time I saw him, we met up and he told me that when he was hanging out with his "friend" and some others the other night, she was asking all about me and he was telling her how much he likes me. I'm not sure which one brought me up first. He even impersonated her reaction when he told her that she was incorrectly saying my name and from how he portrayed her, the vibe I got was that he was saying she got a little snarky for correcting her like he knows everything about me already. I still find it odd he told me this encounter.

 

So, what's going on here? I think I need male input. I've been wanting to be kind, give the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions, but instead, I'm noticing myself feeling offended inside and wondering if there is some ulterior motive, maybe even one he doesn't realize he is after...

[rosephase]

She is his best friend. He is going to talk about her and talk with her. It does sound like she still might have a thing for him or at very least is protective of him. But you are focusing on tiny little things. He wants to be with you. Are you worried that she is going to "steal" him? If she can then he isn't the right person for you anyway. Have you talked with him about his feelings around her? If this becomes a long term thing are you going to be comfortable with them being friends?

[StarGazer68]

She is his best friend. He is going to talk about her and talk with her. It does sound like she still might have a thing for him or at very least is protective of him. But you are focusing on tiny little things. He wants to be with you. Are you worried that she is going to "steal" him? If she can then he isn't the right person for you anyway. Have you talked with him about his feelings around her? If this becomes a long term thing are you going to be comfortable with them being friends?

 

Thanks for your input, rosephase. I have been trying to think of things positively, but this last time she was brought up, I felt odd about it.

 

I don't know about "stealing" him since he is not mine. But perhaps I'm worried that there is going to be catty behaviour, drama and this "friend" attempting to wedge herself and cause problems and doubts. I am not dealing with that stuff. Not what I thrive on. But what I am concerned with is that maybe he wants to have two girls competing for him or perhaps is enjoying making her jealous and maybe is trying to make me jealous as well...My friend seems to think that's the reason and I'm not sure if to consider this a possibility.

 

I have not talked about his feelings around her. I have not talked about his feelings about her either. I have not asked their history or anything.

 

If this ends up long term, I really don't know if I'll be comfortable because I don't know her well enough to know if I even like her. Where I'm at right now, I'm not enjoying the idea of her being around forever at all, especially since I get the sense she needs attention... Before I ever even met this guy, I hung out with her twice and thought she was alright, but had picked up vibes that she was stand offish with me for some reason and didn't understand why. So, she may have already disliked me to begin with.