Sprintman Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 I have been going out with this girl for about a year almost and well for the last 3 months I have been seeing a decrease in her sex desire. When we first got together we were having sex all the time like at least once a day for three month. Since that I have been seeing a steady decrease in her sex drive. I have been researching it and she might have a decrease in libido? I know that a year or two ago she was raped. I dont understand why she says that she likes to have sex with me but doesnt ever want to. Lately whenever I bring it up she is saying "thats all you care about" when i really only bring it up at night when we are tired. I got her a toy about a month ago and she likes playing with that all the time but doesnt like to have sex with me. I guess it is makin me feel jealous I am not sure if that is right but damn i do feel jealous. I have given her about 25 orgasms she says and that I was the first one to give her one I just dont know why she doesnt like sex. I did cheat on her once and I regret that everyday but I dont know if that is always on her mind and thats why she doesnt want to have sex. we have had sex plenty times since that happened in feb. Then tonight she told me that she hasnt been enjoying sex. Does that mean she might be having sex with someone else? or she has had sex with someone else and feels disgusted with her body and not telling me I dont know. Sooo many things run through my mind. PLEASE HELP ME I AM GOING CRAZY... Link to comment
Vert Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Sprint, My ex-gf said that exact line to me -- "thats all you care about" -- even though she'd been doing it with me daily for quite a while. It's funny how women react like that -- they love sex as much as we do, but sometimes they view it as dirty and only to be done a certain amount of times per week, per day, per month, etc. Just back off a bit, don't ask for it, and when she wants it play hard to get. Women want what they can't have and if you give her sexual pleasure every day then she's going to lose interest because she knows it's always there. Those were exact words from my ex-gf and I believe it now but didn't then. Link to comment
Sprintman Posted September 15, 2004 Author Share Posted September 15, 2004 Its like I dont want to break up with her or anythign because I love her but at the same time I want to be able to have a relationship that likes sex just as much as I do. I had a girlfriend before her for like 3 years and she enjoyed it just as much as i do. so some days i just leave her house pissed off thinkin about cheating on her even tho i know it wouldnt be right Link to comment
ForAnother Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 I kinda had the same problem with my ex. We ended up breaking up for a month, then got back together and had sex everyday for 3 months until I left, and I just recently broke up with her. I regret breaking up with her... its just I am at college and its necessary. Sex will deteriorate over time. Just gotta work with it. Its rought changing habbits. ForAnother Link to comment
JonnyG Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 U don't actually state how many times u do it now? I mean she might use to do it every day for 3 months, and now she does it every other day (thats still a fair amount for som1 after a year). How many times a week/month are we looking at? Its only naturally for sex to die down a bit when your in a long relationship. Perhaps u should ease up on all the sex and let her intiate it more. Try new things etc. Link to comment
tahlia Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Being a girl i can say that sometimes you do feel like thats all your guy is interested in. I mean she has some difficulty orgasming if she has only had 25 and she was having a lot of sex. I've been in this experience, you get stuck in a rut so to speak. You have to make sure she knows that sex isn't the most important thing in the relationship, but what your reasons are for having it e.g. intimacy as a sign of your love etc, otherwise she feels that shes just being used for u to have an orgasm. I;d try spice things up a bit in the bedroom too. Surprise her with a massage with oils or body chocolate, light candles or be spontaneous do it in a public place or where theres risk of being caught. Can i also ask do u go down on her because if this works for her then do it, the more often she gets pleasure from being intimate with you the more she'll want it. Don't forget we females are very hormonal and moody, we go through phases. I agree with JonnyG if you are still having sex three times per week after dating for a year whats the problem? I would think all u cared about was sex too if you still wanted it everyday or everytime you saw her. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 what you have to do is find a response that works on your gf. There is a way for you to convince her that sex in a relationship is important. If her sex drive isnt up to par then you have to think if you two are sexually compatible. Some people believe that sex is important in a relationship and others believe that it is less important but you should find a female that matches your sex drive. If she refuses to have sex with you then understand that other things will start to deteriorate also. Link to comment
Sprintman Posted September 15, 2004 Author Share Posted September 15, 2004 We only have sex on the weekends like once or twice a week Link to comment
theghost Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 there are other was to get intimite without having sex. Link to comment
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