Dating a girl with commitment issues.. hardwork

[NotAPenquin]

I never quite understood how frustrating dating could be till i became involved with this women..

 

We've been dating for the past 4 month, we've been intimate with each other.. but now we have hit a rough patch.. why? Because we are reaching the stage where you take the next step.. so for the past three weeks shes done a 360 and ran in the other direction, but of course she still throws me a few bread crumbs every now and then.

 

I never once said to her i want to move this to the next stage an be her girlfriend, so its not like im pushing her.. but she got herself drunk one night and continued to ask me.. do you want to be my girlfriend? I said ask me that when your sober and my answer would be yes. The next day she was pretending that night didnt happen and pretty much after that things went like this.

 

So last night and today i had it out with her, we have had out minor disagreements over this in the past.. the first been when she got herself beat up while intoxicated.. The second, when she asked me to come over and stay the night and meet her mother.. ive already met her father.. she got so catty about this sleep over that i decided to not bother. Another been after we slept together for the first time and the next two days her acting like i basically do not exist. And now.. yesterday and today because this is her majourly freaking out.

 

I told her im not going to be an option in your life, i want to be a priority.. the way your acting is making me unhappy and i dont have to take it.. She didnt contact me for 24 hours then decided to send a text and we continued the conversation.. She said shes scared of been in a relationship.. scared of messing everything up and getting hurt and hurting the other person too. I asked her what does she want.. she said she doesnt know.. i told her im going to back off now and leave her alone and i dont want to hear from her until she figures out what she wants, we are supposed to be meeting up Thursday to see each other..

 

Im not even sure what i want her answer to be when she comes back to tell me what it is she wants.. is that bad?

 

We have so many good points but im starting to wonder if can trust her in the long run? Its the way she is able to jump from every girl shes been with to the next.. and how she waited a month into dating me to tell me that she was dating another girl for seven month while dating me but called it off because of how better off she felt we matched.. and that made me feel awful.. like the other woman.. how would that other girl have been feeling to be dumped so suddenly? Seven months is relationship material.. I had no idea otherwise i wouldnt have gotten involved. I cant prove it but im sure that the girl she had sleeping over last night wasnt her friend but a girl she used to date? I just cant prove it.. see insecuritys are beginning to show because the relationship feels all over the place?

 

The last thing we said was.. she is sorry for everything she's caused these past two days, she doesnt mean to be like this but she always gets like this and usually she runs. So i told her, I know you dont mean to be but i wont be coming back till you can tell me what you want, i can deal with you been scared but i cant deal with been pushed away everytime you freak out.. im not scared, hearts are broken everyday and i wouldnt take back a single second i spent with you, speak soon.. and that was that.

 

Do they ever commit in the end? Or do they lead you on this long game till they find someone better? Never settling down?

 

You know what the worst feeling i have is.. how unhealthy i believe this relationship could be in the future.. I get the impression me and her together would be an abusive relationship.. i dont know what gives me that feeling but its a gut reaction.

 

Anyway if youve made it this far.. welldone! And thankyou.

[notperfectof1]

hummmm i would walk away just for your sanity. she seems like she has quite a bit of issues to deal with and my mom always taught me to go with your gut feeling first. nobody a true bad person we all have good points but you have to look at those red flags and your smart because you are doing so as i read in your post. so don't second guess yourself. yes hearts are broken ( was in a four relationship with my ex boyfriend that ended) everyday but no need to put yourself though if there no real vault reason to.

[In the Dark]

After one of my experiences with a woman with commitment issues, I have learned the hard way to just force yourself to walk away.

The more attached you become the more hurt you're going to feel in the end.

 

The relationship ends up life fighting battle you can not win, and a relationship should not be a battle of continuously doing over the top things in a feeble attempt to show you love the person because in the end it just doesn't matter with someone who will not commit because they are always in a stance which is getting ready to run.